Poll and etiquette question

[chaosisawayoflife]

Ok, so for a boy we have got Daniel or Elliot. Thoughts please?
Also, a friend of ours (met through antenatal with dd1) have a ds called Daniel, do we need to talk to them in advance, is it a complete no no to copy a name?
For a girl we are fairly settled on holly but we already have a dd called Jessica, is there anything that comes to mind when you hear those names together? Odd question I know but an association occurs to me but not sure if it would for others.

Holly and Jessica - I would think of the two girls who were abducted and murdered :( sorry.

Daniel and Elliot both lovely names, personally I prefer Daniel but not sure why! If they are not particularly close friends, I don't see why you shouldn't also name your son Daniel.

I don't think it's a complete no no to have the same names within a group. If you spoke to them, and they said they didn't like the idea, you'd be in a bit of a bind. Fait accompli would be better.

Holly and Jessica together say Soham to me, sorry.

ooh dear, holly and jessica. bad ju ju. sorry sorry but no please don't. I'm Irish and I know about holly and jessica and how they died. I would find it strange to be honest.

What about Polly?

I love Daniel but not Elliot. Daniel is a very popular name so imo it's fair game. If it were Hamish and you were using it I'd think you were copying and I'd say don't do it.

I agree with valium, that Daniel is popular enough not to be 'copying'. I wouldn't ask about that. I like Elliot though, and wondered about it for my ds's but a bit too similar to my RL name.

Didn't twig the Holly and Jessica thing. Don't really think they 'go' as names anyway tbh. There's a lot of good girls' names out there, so you'll be fine...

I instantly thought of the Soham connection, too.

With Daniel, I wouldn't worry as it's a well used, popular name. I think it would be more of an issue if the name of your friend's child was rarely used and you wanted to use it, as others have said.

I don't like Elliot myself (bad associations with a boy at primary school), but there's nothing wrong with it.

I like Elliot, it makes me think of ET :)
I did think of Soham for the girls' names though, sorry.

As for Daniel, I would say you did not need to ask your friends permission (unless her Daniel dies, then it's sensitive to).

Of Daniel and Elliot I like Elliot.

Please don't do Holly and Jessica. Everyone will think of that terrible thing when they hear your little girls names and you don't want that.

Polly? Molly? Dolly?
Rowan? Ivy? Hazel?
Hannah? Helena? Hermione?

There have to be other good names out there you like?

I wouldn't say you have to ask your friends permission to use Daniel. I do much prefer Elliot though, but if you want Daniel then go for it.

I didn't think of the Soham connection but now others have pointed it out I really wouldn't use Holly if I was you. Although I do like it. As others have suggested, perhaps you could go for Molly or Polly. Polly is lovely.

TheSecondComing were your friends horrified by the connection and grateful that you pointed it out, or horrified that you'd pointed it out to them? Just curious!

OP, I am American and have never lived in Britain, but when I thought "Holly and Jessica" I immediately recalled that famous picture of those two lovely little girls in their football jerseys :( I'm sorry. If you're in Britain, especially, I think it will be a long long time before those names together don't have such a sad and upsetting connotation for people.

I love the name Daniel and think it's one of those that you could never go wrong with.

I instantly thought of Soham too - really would not do it honestly.

Thanks all. Feeling a bit hormonal and gutted that everyone else made that connection too. We were more or less decided on the name, the soham connection had occurred to me but when I mentioned it to dh he didn't realise and said I was silly for worrying and no one else would think of it. Gutted that you all have as I love the name, but we'll have to have a rethink.
Just come across heidi on another thread which I quite like.

Elliott and Heidi are both lovely names.

I prefer Daniel, don't like surnamey names.
I'm in Italy and also made the Holly and Jessica connection I'm afraid!

I prefer Daniel, do not like Elliott.

Hannah, Charlotte or Emily sound really nice with Jessica BTW.

Ok. So Holly has definitely been shelved, gutted as I am about it!

Still considering Heidi but keep picturing a pigtailed German girl everytime I think of it.
Currently thinking Hazel, any thoughts?
Middle name will be Elizabeth.

We have 2 boys names we like and I'm pg with id twins. If they are boys they will have the 2 names we like but this means ds will have same name as a friend's ds who is 3 years older. I did mention it to my friend and said I'm really sorry but we chose the name for a boy on our honeymoon 7 years ago and dh and I struggled to even find a second to agree on so it has to be the name we use. My friend was fine - I think any real friend would be.

DD (3) also shares her name with my best friends 14-year-old. Again the name was picked in advance before I met bf. BF was flattered and is a fab god mother to dd. We also like the name of their second child but I think that would cross a line!

PS. I love Heidi and don't care about Kerry Katona or anything to do with her life - I didn't know her kids names and am sure family and friends won't either. Met a lovely 4-year-old called Heidi on holiday so she inspired the name for us.

Daniel is much nicer IMO. More classic and everyone knows how to spell it.

Don't like Elliot so much as it is a modern name from a surname. Also there are different spellings Elliot/Elliott/Eliot so he would have his name spelled wrongly and have to spell it out and correct people frequently - which some children dislike.

How about Lily instead of Holly?
Or Polly, Penny, Jenny (Jennifer) or Hattie (Harriet)?