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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

What's wrong with a one letter name? Ideas please?

28 replies

Underachieving · 19/03/2011 16:02

A boy I know just turned 16. I can't give you any real names but let's call him Callum John Winters.

Callum's father is not mentally stable and has done a many abusive things over Callums lifetime (like making suicide attepts in front of him as a 6 year old and saying it was his fault). Callum was brought up from the age of 2 by his step father, who has done a good job.

Callum has an older brother (now 22) who shares the same dad and a younger sister (now 10) who's doesn't. Because the oldest boy changed his last name when he turned 18 Callum has been the only Winters in the family for some time and he doesn't like it. His father is not a man to aspire to be like.

He wants to be Callum Hall like the rest of his family- his brother, his sister, his mum and his stepdad. So now that he is old enough not to need his natural fathers permission to do this his mum and stepdad have started the paperwork off. If the paperwork is done soon his GCSE's will arive with the new name: Callum Hall. This is especially important as Callum is unlikely to stay on at school any longer than legally required, so GSCE's will follow him longer and get mentioned more often than perhaps someone whose CV boasts a masters and a PhD.

All simple enough so far- he's going to change his name....

His fathers name is/was John Winters. Callum wants rid of John too. But Callum has no idea what middle name he wants and doesn't want not to have one and so wants to call himself J as a middle name. Just the one letter- J.

I've tried to persuade him that this is a dreadful idea. That every official form he fills in which asks for his middle name will be returned to him and any online form wont process at all, but he's not having it.

Callum wont consider taking the middle name Jay because of his natural father again. His natural father recently changed his name by deed poll to Jay and another surname (attempt at debt avoidance).

He also wont consider James or Jake because he doesn't like them, or any other J name I can think of. He is hell bent on being Callum J Hall. I don't think he appretiates the difficulties he will face with things like employers, tax, passports, driving licence, police and so on.

His Mum has asked me to try to talk him out of it, because he listens to me and respects me. Can you come up with any other persuasive reasons I could put to him?

In the final analysis his parents will have to put thier foot down and say no, but it's kinder if he comes to the conclusion himself not to be "Callum J". So I put it to you Mumsnetters, what's wrong with a 1 letter name? Give me your best reasons not to use just J.

OP posts:

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Original poster

Underachieving · 19/03/2011 16:23

C'mon Mumsnetters, I know you have a great big judgey streak in there somewhere.

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 19/03/2011 16:25

No help sorrry - I know someone who considered this as a name

piprabbit · 19/03/2011 16:29

I generally only use my initial for my middle name (as I'm not keen on the name), I've never had any problems form filling - either with just the inital, or even leaving blank (lots of people don't have a middle name).

I don't think it would cause him insurmountable problems.

meditrina · 19/03/2011 16:31

Could he use "Jay"?

Original poster

Underachieving · 19/03/2011 16:33

When you say usually piprabbit, are we talking passport applications and child benefit claims and all?

OP posts:

Margles · 19/03/2011 17:08

It was said that he can't use the name Jay because of the link with his natural father.

It reminds me of something I read in the Reader's Digest once about someone called R B Jones - just initials. Forms were returned to him asking for his full name which of course he had put - so he sent the forms back filled in as R(only) B(only) to then be addressed by return as Mr Ronly Bonly Jones.

So I would say Don't do it. Could he use the middle name Joe?

UndiscoveredApprentice · 19/03/2011 18:03

I cannot see using an initial as a middle name will be the slightest hindrance in life, I think you guys are over dramatising the effect.

Mind you, if he wanted to distancce himself entirely I would tell him to either ditch the middle name idea altogether, or to take his stepdad's name as his middle name.

FourFortyFour · 19/03/2011 18:06

Using the J instead of John is not moving away from his father that much .

poppyknot · 19/03/2011 18:09

Harry S Truman!

He made it to the president of the USA.

As far as explaining would go I think it would figure very low on the list of troublesome ones......

KatyMac · 19/03/2011 18:10

What is his step fathers name? WOuld he like to use that?

breatheslowly · 19/03/2011 18:12

It seems fine to me and was ok for Harry S Truman.

DilysPrice · 19/03/2011 18:16

For a first name it would be a nightmare, for a middle name I think it's acceptable, it'll be a bit inconvenient here and there but no biggy.

FoxyRevenger · 19/03/2011 19:11

Oh, I thought all the concern was because we were talking about a first name!

Can't see the problem with an initial for a middle name at all.

babyapplejack · 19/03/2011 19:16

OK here's the solution:

He doesn't need a middle name.

Get the name changed to Callum Hall. End of. No reminder of relationship to bastard.

Zettelbox · 19/03/2011 19:16

ditto with Harry S Truman. No problem with this - I don't think there would be a problem with form-filling etc. Kid should go for it.

babyapplejack · 19/03/2011 19:16

Re the GCSEs - get them entered as Callum Hall. You can go by any name you like, it isn't illegal.

But get the deed poll done ASAP anyway.

Onion1968 · 19/03/2011 19:22

I think that this young man has had enough turmoil in his young life already. If he wants to do it, let him. If, later in life it causes problems with applications/forms etc then he may have to rethink it. He could change it again by deed poll. Perhaps by the time comes for him to change it he might have different views on things anyway.

thisisyesterday · 19/03/2011 19:34

i actually don't think it would be a huge problem

i've filled in forms before using just an initial. or very often i don't even put my middle name at all. it's rare to get something that you HAVE to put a middle name

to be honest though, if he wants to move away from the "John" completely then why doesn't he change his middle name to his step-dads name... or some other meaningful name?

squeak2392 · 19/03/2011 19:40

Instead of J he could use his mother's maiden name, or a version of it. I would have thought even J would have reminded him of his father.

greenzebra · 19/03/2011 19:44

I was in a similar situation, my Biofather left me and my mum when I was 12 weeks old, my mum remarried a couple of years later to a great man who has been a wonderful father to me. I took his last name but he didnt adopt me, so I had a double barrel name. I was lucky in this respect as I could use my step dads name with out the bio fathers name if I wanted and often did as I hated being associated with it. But as I got older I realised that it was only a name and really had no impact on me as a person. I would often not experince things if I knew my bio father liked then, like listening to pink floyd or reading lord of the rings because I knew they were his favourites. But I got over it and discovered that he was hindering me from enjoying life.
I know its different being a female as I can get married and change my name, but I still kept my middle name which was his grandmothers.
It is a hard situation and harder as he has that name as a middle name to.
He needs to think hard about what he is doing and what he is changing it too. Obvisously he is changing it to the same name as his older brother, but his middle name is another matter. Maybe he should get rid of it all together, maybe have a chat with his mum and see if she had another name in mind for his middle name as a child. Or maybe his step fathers as people have suggested, but he is going to take his step fathers last name so there no need to tribute him more really.
Can I ask why he didnt adopt them?
Maybe if he wants a middle name then look into his family history a bit maybe a grandfather or great grandfather.

I would say to him though, thats it is only a name, fare enough its the same name of a man he hates but that doesnt mean he is that man, he is someone totally different. He is unique and he is making a effort to be different and not follow in this mans footsteps. I wish him good luck in the future.

mathanxiety · 19/03/2011 19:52

I don't think it's that big of a deal myself -- biggest problem that I can see is that it still preserves a link to his father albeit obliquely enough.

However, how about his step father's middle name or even first name or his mother's maiden name as suggested.

Or could he translate the middle name to Sean or Ivan?

stayathomegardener · 19/03/2011 20:23

My DD's middle name is B.No problems with that I think she likes to be mildly rebellious with teachers when they insist she puts her full name.

It is also amusing(for her ,she is only 12)to pretend to friends that it stands for Boadicea or something similar that is terribly embarrassing.

I don't foresee any real complications,and really if there are issues I guess the joy is he can change it again.

DirtyMartini · 19/03/2011 20:26

Lots of people have no middle names. They don't have trouble with forms - I don't see why he would.

You can just leave your middle name off a form in any context I can think of without it causing any problems whatsoever. Happy to be corrected, if anyone has experience to the contrary - but if not, tbh I don't think this is a battle worth fighting with him if it is going to upset him.

PavlovtheCat · 19/03/2011 20:33

You can just remove your middle name completely can't you?

My DH has a middle name he absolutely detests, and he has looked into having it gone completely. However, for pretty much anything he does not use it at all, not for tax credits, or bank accounts, he is just First name Surname.

It was a problem getting married as it had to be his FULL name, and it was this that prompted him considering removing it. He did not in the end though. He braved it out (think he had a vague sense of this being who he was like it or not) and just never ever uses it. It is also on his passport. Can't avoid that one, but not a biggie. No post has his full name on.

However, as another poster has said...he has had such trauma in his life, if he wants to be J, then why not? he won't have the application trouble on a daily basis and if he is aware of that, he will just deal with it.

LifeOfKate · 19/03/2011 20:46

I agree with most other people, just let him have J if that's what he wants. I can't imagine it'll cause that many problems, and even if it does, he'll be the one who 'suffers' for it, so it doesn't affect anyone else and he is the one who wants J.

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