Should I let hubby choose name for 3rd baby?!

[lovenest]

My hubby like Rebecca and Abigail which I am not too fussed on at all. He also loves Lily but I know it is fairly popular at the moment. Should I let him decide? What if I am not so keen, will it grow on me? Does it matter if it is popular? Suggestions please!!!

H picked 1st daughters name as he disliked all the names i had picked. I said right you pick a name but im using my name next time. Luckily he picked a name i like but my daughter whos now 10 hates. I used my name on the 2nd daughter which he like. I wasnt allowed to use my other name Ethne on the 3rd daughter as he hated it and still does so we came up with one we both liked. Its so hard picking names

which he now likes

Honestly, names should be liked by both parents. If you don't like a name, say so. And I certainly don't think it's an issue that a name's popular at the moment. Names do go in and out of fashion.

I prefer Rebecca to all of your choices on your other thread.
However, I do not think it is fair of one parent to choose a name that the other does not like. I think you both need to at least like the name even if you do not both love it.
Rebecca os lovely.

Abigail, Rebecca and Lily are all lovely names :)

Agree with others that it would be nice if you can find names you both like. What names do you like and does your DH like them? Would it help if people here made suggestions of names?

Abigail is lovely, as is Abbie for short

I also like Rebekah spelled this way.

If you want to let your husband decide why not come up with a couple of names that you both really like and let him chose which one to use when the baby is born. that's what we did as i just couldn't make my mind up between the 2. glad he chose the one he did as i've gone off the other now!!

Let???

Is it not his baby?

*choose

yeah amberleaf that does sound bad...oops wow, struggling to think of an alternative word. this is bad!

I don't agree that "let" is bad. I consider that the mother having final word on a name is the traditional/usual way of doing things. David Cameron not famously said it was a bit like "North Korean democracy" when naming baby Florence - "there are talks but she will decide". So I don't think there was anything wrong with the use of the word let. The Camerons are hardly the cutting edge of radical.

Lol its not that bad really.

I hope you manage to reach a democratic solution to your naming dillema!

Yes, let.

That would be the appropriate word when one person cedes their right to a say in a decision they should rightfully contribute to.

It's her baby too, so if he gets to decide the name, it's because she let him.

Jesus the "poor mens must never be inconvenienced by women" thing is deeply felt, it seems.

I would go with it only if you truly like the name, otherwise it'll cause resentment. For ne, it's 'officially' dh's turn to choose the name this time around as it was mine the last. However, happily I love the name he has chosen and there's just one name I love (but he hates) as a contender. It would not be fair to him if I were to go ahead with the latter name - both parents have to agree. Anything else will only cause arguments/resentment which will resurface again and again.
Of course 'let' is the operative word - concession on both sides is what's needed.

I don't think it is about concession, or shouldn't be, I think it is about finding a name that you both genuinely really like. I guess that might mean saying no to some personal favourites along the way, but as long as you get to the end result of a name you both like I think that's fine. I don't think either parent should be 'trumping' the other.

So if you are not very keen on his suggestions find some names you do like and see if any of the appeal to him :)

I was convinced I was having a girl first time, and had lots of girl's names, but had no boy's name I loved. My husband had a boy's name he loved, which I thought was okay, but not love. However, I never thought I would use it. Come the time, of course, I had a boy, and was happy to let my hubby have his name, as I thought it only fair.

However, I have never truly grown to love it. It is fine, it suits my son, but still is not the name I would have picked then, or now. I wouldn't change it though.

If someone just sits there like a lump and vetoes name after name that their partner comes up with that is de facto having the only say in what name is chosen too. And there are quite a few Ps and Hs like this mentioned on this Topic. I agree with Spidookly wrt 'let'.

The mother is the name-giver in many traditional societies, and I believe this was the custom in Biblical times too.

As long as both parties agree one or the other is choosing the name and whatever discussion there is happens amicably, no problem.

You need to both be at least willing to compromise on the name, and both be happy enough with it. How you come to the choice of actual name is up to you!

If it helps, this is how we did it:

We both made a list of all the names we liked, then put the lists together, and each chose our top 5. The names that were on both top 5 are the short list names.

But we won't finalise a choice until we meet the baby and see whether the name suits him/her.