Opinions and Naming After Somebody - etiquette advice please!

[LadyBubbaAndBump]

Would like opinions on all of the following - have two DDs with quite pretty, not massively out of the ordinary, names (similar to the kinds of girls' names below);

Fraser Robert
Lachlan David
Patrick James
Duncan Robert
Douglas ???

Elodie May
Katherine Anne
Claudia Anne
Erin May
???! (bit stuck for more girls' names)

Also, one of the name's NN is the same as a good family friend who died last Christmas (aged 60+) and wondering whether I should speak to the spouse and ask if it's okay? The full name isn't the same, just the nickname. Reason I'm hesitant is that it would tell that person the sex of the baby, (which we know but didn't want to know and haven't told anyone else yet), and that person is good friends with my parents and so might let slip which sex it is. Wouldn't feel right telling them before my parents...

Advice on all of the above please :)

Also middle names aren't set in stone, but are kind of family-related...

If you asked, couldn't you say, "If we have a girl/boy, would you mind if we used [spouse's name]?" Then they wouldn't know the sex.

Love your boys' names, except Duncan and Fraser which I'm not so keen on. I particularly like Patrick. Also love Robert.

Claudia not so keen, but Elodie, Katherine and Erin are gorgeous imo :) Especially the first two. I prefer Anne to May for the middle name in general, I think, though May goes better with Elodie.

If you know the sex of the baby already, why do you have a choice of boys AND girls names above?

Being a bit over-careful I suspect! But two reasons; In case the doctor who told us was wrong, and also because a couple of people from RL know me on here and I wanted to throw them off the scent incase they read this (coudn't be bothered to namechange)

Yes BowTies thought of that, but my parents have told the friend we've been told the gender, so the if wouldn't be very convincing.

Ah OK fair enough! :)

I love Patrick and Lachlan.

And Elodie and Katherine.

I don't see the need to ask the spouse, as they are all normal everyday names, rather than something so out there that it is obviously named after that person.

Ah, I see. That would ruin it rather.

But like AnnOnimous says, there's not really any need to ask because they're normal names. And the person is very unlikely to object, surely?

I don't think they'd object, no, I just wondered whether it was The Done Thing. Hopefully they'd see it as the compliment I mean it as.

If DD1 had been a boy, I wanted to give her the 2nd name of my cousin who had died three or four years earlier, and I asked my aunt and uncle because a)they're family and b)his death was really premature and the name was more unusual - they were thrilled, but then she turned out to be a she anyway.

Thanks for responses so far...

Patrick and Elodie are my faves.

I think mine too muminthemiddle

but I was set on Fraser for yonks and yonks and yonks so not sure I trust myself any more

I like Erin and Lachlan, as they are a little more unusual. I like Fraser, but I have a friend called Fraser who gets annoyed because people call him Frasier! Might not be a problem when your little one gets older, though.

Elodie is a gorgeous name

I wouldn't feel the need to ask first TBH. If you're not comfortable with just using the name without asking, you could phone as soon as the baby's born to announce the arrival, and check their response to your chosen name. I'm sure they'd be delighted!

A lot of my family are scots, so pronunciation of Lachlan not a problem, but my ILs are likely to butcher the ch bit of lach unless I train them!! Will tht bug me/be an issue??

Good names !

My favourites :

Patrick
then Fraser

All the girls names, with Claudia at Number 1

Thanks JamieLee - might be worth having another three or four children so I get to use them all!!! :o

Yes!

Whilst I am very happy with my two boys, would love to have used my girls names. I think that's why I like Baby Names - to carry the torch for me - Elodie was on my list, and Erin. Katherine is a lovely classic name (I also like Serena and Elizabeth)

i like all your boy's names!

Claudia and Katherine are my favourite out of your girls names.

i think your family friend would probably be happy.

Thank you jaggy - still can't decide though! Grrrrr.

it's such a hard job names. :)

we are ttc no 2 now and have absolutely no boy's name ideas. a couple on your list were ruled out for my DS due to people i know with the names. (adults).

we actually have a girl's name in mind if we get a no 2 and it's a dd. might change our mind by then i suppose!

good luck with your baby and name choosing.

bump

I love Patrick and Claudia. They are exactly the kind of names that I had on various lists.

I looked at your boys middle names and they are all very classic, I don't think the spouse of your family friend would mind if you used one of those names. They would expect there to be others out there. Existing ones and new ones coming along....

I really don't like Erin, despite being Irish. It's soup to me and always will be. Lachlan is ok but hard to say imo. I do love Douglas though! Doogie is wonderful. I like Bruce and Duncan too. Fraser is ok.

But Claudia and Patrick are both excellent, couldn't fault either of those names. They hit the perfect spot in a triangle between underused, classic and attractive/strong sounding names.

I think it is polite to ask about the name before giving it to your child. Not that I'd expect anyone to object, but I do think it's Correct Proceedure.

With both our kids, their middle names belong to (living!) family members - we called and asked them - after the baby was born (we didn't know sex pre birth), but before it was officially named) if they were happy with this. Does mean waiting a little bit before you announce the name, though...

PS MY favourites are Fraser & Lachlan, and Katherine. Lovely names :-)

Both my daughters are named after family members (my Granny and MIL) as their second names. I didn't give any forewarning of this, and both were very pleased when they found out.

I can see in the case of a bereavement why you might like to tell the widow in advance so they are not taken by surprise when they hear, in case they should have an emotional response.

Of your boys' names I like Lachlann very much.

Of your girls', Claudia.

I don't think any Irish people like the name Erin, do they?

Erin hotcup shows you care, twice as muuuuuch

actually just realised I am mixing up Erin hotcup and double centre ads there

Have no idea what you're talking about spidookly but will trust your judgement :o

In the case of hte family friend, the first name is the same, and the first two initials are the same and this is what the family friend was known by. DH likes the first name on its own, and I like the initials used as the name, in which case it would sound like exactly the same name.

I might see if that's the name we go for, and if it is, call the baby it but actually phone the family friend to check they don't mind (which I am 95% sure they won't). It would be in dedication as I loved that person very much and the family friend knows that.