How important is a name?

[stereo]

Are the names we give our DCs really that important or do we stew - and post! - unnecessarily? Have you ever looked at a person and thought 'they don't look like a ....' or 'what a horrid name'? I haven't.

There may be names all of us dislike but when that name is attached to a person, it ceases to be an issue. A name just identifies a person - it doesn't define who they are or what a baby will be in the future - although, granted, certain names do conjure up stereotypes (which they shouldn't IMHO!).

Your thoughts please.

treas is right. Because names are in the same 'format' as words, and we are taught from an early age that words have meanings, therefore it is inevitable that we will assign personal 'meanings' to names too.

For example, the name Serena now for me has the same meaning as the word 'bully', because the Serena at school is the only experience I have of the name. If I met another, nicer Serena it would take a little while for the meaning of the name to change. Had the school bully been called something more common, I would have encountered the name more frequently and the association would have been diluted.

It would be easier in some ways if we could have symbols for names, although impossible for typing!

"What do you think of when you see or hear the following names ? -

Chardonnay
Chelsea
Kevin
Norman
Sharon
Demi
Cameron
Callum
Beatrix
St. John
Tarquin"

I don't think anything. Because even if the parents of some of these people had certain tastes it doesn't mean their children necessarily have the same. Nor does it say anything about the children's success in life, especially outside of the UK.

And I know many lovely Chelseas, Sharons, Camerons and even a Tarquin .

Hi Tammy - I'm not saying that it is right but unfortunately, people make quick and often false judgments on a persons name.

I know someone who dislikes the name Chardonnay because she views it as chavvy due to Footballers Wives.

On the other hand I think it a nice wine as long as it isn't too oaky.

I am not keen on any name after a place or object, thats just how I am and that is my taste, if it differs form yours please don't let it offend you.

If the person is a lovely person they are still a lovely person whatever there name

What's wrong with Cameron? I never considered it to be chavvy!

David Cameron.

I think people on here over examine names. Generally I think people in real life take people as they find them. Personally someone's name does not make me like or dislike them. The same as what type of car they drive does not influence whether I like a person or not. You may as well also say you would choose friends based on their house ie expensive and decorated to your taste then ok to be your friend.

I'm suprised at how often name-changing threads appear on MN. I didn't even realise it was possible to change your DC's name - let alone that it was quite a common occurence.

A name is just that, a name. As soon as you meet someone they 'become' the name, not the other way around.

If someone does judge a person on their name, I think it is their loss.

I think that the more 'try hard' a name is, the more jarring it can seem. I like simple classic names eg Alice, Rose, Sophie, not keen on the overly fussy ones tbh.

I think it's very important. I have a very unusual name, a name which people may make judgements about. I have often wondered whether it has affected me in job applications - it sounds like an Asian name (I'm in Britain) - maybe adversely - racism, or not - positive discrimination.

Jamie, sad to hear about the discrimination you felt. Are you Asian? You mentioned you felt discriminated against due to your Asian name - but I wonder whether this discrimination was against the name or your heritage. Very sad in either case.

eva - that's the thing. I'm not Asian, but before they have met me people have often assumed I was. And given the evidence of racism in employment practice (there was a study recently where identical CVs were sent to a range of companies, with half having Asian names, half not - and those with Asian names being significantly less likely to be offered an interview), I do wonder. I'm not saying it has blighted my life, but it's an example of people making judgements based on nothing more than a name

racism study

That racism is shocking - really makes me angry. Even more important therefore that we teach our children to be more open minded than some of us adults...!

I agree with the OP. A name is just that, a name and once you meet a person then he/she becomes synonymous with that name. It does get confusing when too many people are called the same name though .

I think it is OK if you are not the one with an outlandish name! A name is not 'just a name' to the person who has to bear it and this is the reason they often change it as soon as they are able or settle for a nickname or anything to get away from it!
The parents may be flamboyant extraverts who choose a name to be noticed but they may have an introverted, shy child who wants to be the same as everyone else.
People will be prejudiced and make assumptions, names like Ethel draw a picture in my mind, I might banish it eventually but the initial reaction isn't good!

I know a woman in her mid 30s called Hilda and everytime I hear it I think 'poor thing'.

I've posted before about some children in my family who had very "out there" names and were made very unhappy because of them. They weren't really bullies, but their names were constantly being mentioned and talked about. The first thing anybody ever said to them was something about their names. They sort of became their names, if you see what I mean.

In the end, the oldest one became so unhappy abpout the prospect of going to secondary school and it all happening again that he was refusing to go - so his grandmother came up with the idea of a renaming ceremony - a family party where he chose his own new name to go into year 7 with. His sisters did the same when they left primary school, and they are all much happier now.

People should think carefully - and remember that they are naming another person - not just a baby. And that person will have to take that name forward into teenagerdom and adulthood.

"They weren't really bulied} I meant, niot bullies. That would be a whole other problem!

My aunt, unofficially, changed her name when she was very young and it was years before I knew that it wasn't her real name. Some people never knew, she kept it secret all her life. A name does matter and it is unfair of parents to say it is just a name!

I was reading Freakonomics a while ago, and there was a piece in there about baby names. What they found was that in the US (so not only here) that if you gave your child a certain name, maybe one that was associated with the African-American community (D'Shawn, for example) you were less likely to be employed than if you had been given a traditional name. This also applied to white children who were given names that were perceived as 'Trailer trash'. Wrong, but happens everywhere, not just the UK. In fact is seemed much more obvious there than in the UK, as the names and communities are so polarised.

You have to remember that the received Mumsnet wisdom is that giving a child a "unique" name is character building - it teaches a child to be strong and to not mind what other people say.

Oh, and that it's the parents who have to be "brave" to use the name, not the child who has to be brave to go through life called Basingstoke or Foo-Foo.

@ Basingstoke and Foo-Foo

Hmmm....they could be growers!

I think that it is vastly unfair to think of it as 'character building', especially if the parents have the luck to be called James and Elizabeth themselves and will never have to find out! Some children just can't handle it and unfortunately you can't tell that in the first 6 weeks. My name is quite common and there was generally another in the class, this sems to be a MNetter's nightmare, but I loved it!