What do you think of double-barrelled surnames?

[northlondonchoclover]

We are of different ethnic backgrounds and DH suggested using my surname as a middle name, but everyone drops their middle name, don't they? So the mother's half of baby's background will just be forgotten.

I am quite keen on the double-barrelled route, and it does not end up being a ridiculously long name either..

Fine if you want to do that. I wouldn't think anything in particular. I have come across someone whose double barrelled name is really unfortunate and sounded like a method of torture used on a willy :o but if it doesn't sound silly then go for it.

Dunno really - don't have any particular feelings on double barrelled names and I quite ike the idea of the mother's name as a middle name. The double barrelled name can just as easily be dropped as a middle name. I know of several people who have done this - maybe not as a child but certainly as adults.

Is the whole family going to be changing to the double-barrelled name?

We double-barrelled our names for our DC. It is quite a long name, but they've never had any problems with it. I think it is quite important that they have both our names actually, especially as I have chosen not to change mine to DH's (and vice versa).

One thing, if you have a girl and you give her your name as a middle name and then she gets married and decides to change her surname she will always have your name as her middle name.

But aside from that I would have no problem with a double-barrelled surname, ours would have been ridiculously long so didn't.

Well I did not change my surname - its not in my culture to do so. So I suppose our children will have a combination of our surnames and we both have different surnames.. is that weird?

Plus the thought of changing my name really made me hyperventilate... sorry, no offence intended to many who have

I don't think its weird. I am Ms X, DH is Mr Y and the DC are the X-Ys. We are usually referred to as the X-Y family, but nobody (schools, doctors etc) seems to have a problem giving each of us the correct surname when addressing us individually. (Apart from the ILs, but that's another story altogether.)

My DD has a double-barrelled surname. It has never been a problem, no elements of her surname have ever been droppe.d

Not sure how the in-laws will react. Probably not well. But I feel quite strongly about it. Good to hear that there are no major administration problems with kids having both surnames of parents rather than one.

But where does this end? If you are Ms A and your DP is Mr B then your DC end up being the A-Bs. (I hope all these initials are making sense)
Years from now, when your Ms A-B falls in love with Mr X-Y and they have kids will they be the A-B-X-Y? It gets a bit silly after a while.

good point

I would think they?d have loads of options. They could be A-X, A-Y, B-X, B-Y. They could choose any one of the names or even a new one entirely. I?d have thought that A-B-X-Y would be the least likely option they?d choose! The problem with that argument (although I can kind of see your point) is that it?s always used as an argument as to why the mother?s surname should be dropped. (sorry, can you tell I often get people telling me what my name should be, as well as our future children! )

I personally think that linking names with a hyphen is more practical than without. We are planning on linking our names together into one word for children (fortunately it works really well for us). I think that it makes it more obvious that it?s a surname then, and not a middle name and a surname.

Where I'm from, the first surnamegets dropped, so when A-B marries X-Y, she becomes B-Y. But that was, the mothers name gets dropped anyway. If your DC had your name as a middle name, it wouldn't be dropped. I have 2 middle names, and even though I don't use the second one on forms etc, I still have it. I wish I'd given my DS my surname as a second middle name. It seems a bit stupid now to do it for DC2.

surname gets obviously!

However nobody uses their middle name though..

With complex families becoming more common, loads of kids have db surnames and it isn't a big deal for them.

When I got married, my dd took on my married name, with her original surname. I let her choose the order that she liked. Had a lovely naming party with her friends. She was eight. All been fine and lovely. Go for it.

There is the other solution. Terrible fashionable now, apparently. I think they even have a word for it but I can't remember it.
If Smith and Jones get together then their kids become Smones or Jith.

Lol, that might be a step too far, even for me!!

I'm double-barrelled and people always think I'm posh, simply because my father's great-great-grandfather and his wife chose to put their names together.

On the other hand it does mean I can't go double-barrelled with my partner, because I'm not Helena A or Helena B, but Helena A-B - choosing one name over the other would be meaningless. If I really wanted to keep all names I'd then be Helena A-B-C! I am going to avoid all confusion and just become Helena C, but I don't know what I'd do if those names were those of each of my parents; I would find it so difficult to choose.

It can all depend on the names involved and how important it is for you to keep your name in there. If your surname is Smith and his is Takami (picking examples at random!) then I think it would be nice to keep your surname as a middle name, so it is part of your child's name. Then again, Takami-Smith sounds good too! :)

Years ago it was a bit posh but now it is much more mainstream. I felt a bit left out because I was the only one in my ante-natal group without a double barrelled name. I note that the offspring of the ante-natal mums tend to have just one name, I don't know whether they opted for the maternal or paternal name.

I quite like it when people choose to give their children a surname as a middle name, I know that we don't tend to use our middle names but the child knows its their name.

My maiden name wasn't part of my heritage so I happily dropped it, not sure what I would have chosen to do with the children if I had felt more attached to my maiden name.

I like to think I'm a pretty laid back and non-judgemental person, but there is something about double barrelled surnames that makes me squirm, as a bit try-hard, or pretentious, or faux posh. Realise that says more about me probably, but there you are.

For me, I'd like my child's name to reflect a bit more about his background, which includes 2 cultures. Its not really about being posh..

I think db names used to be thought of being for posh people only but tbh these days I always think unmarried parents.