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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

does a name grow on you if you choose it for your baby?

14 replies

whizzylala · 14/10/2010 12:41

My DH and I are struggling to agree on names, with our previuos two DCs it was so easy, by the end of Week 12 they were both sorted and no further discussion needed. This time we don't seem to be able to find something we both love for either sex. So my question is if he chose girls and I chose boys does the given name grow on you in the end because it is your LO who you adore and so you grow to adore their name too?
My DH loves a girls name, I think it is quite nice but it isn't "the one" for me. I have a particular boys name I love that he is ok with so thought maybe we could choose one each. We have got plenty of time left but I just look at all the girls names on here and in books and non of them inspire me much, the ones that do are immediately vetoed by DH.
Thoughts please?
Thanks.
Whizz.

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ValiumSkeleton · 14/10/2010 12:46

Maybe. I got my choice once, and the other name was very much a compromise name. It still seems a bit strange to me that that is my dc's name.... but rationally I can see that it's an attractive name, not too popular, not too common, feminine but not too gurly wurly......... so, it's a good name, but it's not the exact one I would have chosen. Compromise is a bitch.

Just push harder for your own way is my advice!! They have their father's sur name I presume??

accessorizequeen · 14/10/2010 12:48

I don't think it does, agree with Valium. Best to keep on until you find something you both agree on. With dd, she was a week old before we hit on one! We picked a name for ds2 that I felt was ok, but I still don't love it and he's nearly 4! If dh loves a name so much, use it as the middle name.

nikki1978 · 14/10/2010 13:21

DH never ended up agreeing with names and both had to compromise so both names were not our number ones. But to be honest once the DCs were here and we had said those names a few times they were just their names and we couldn't imagine it any differently.

DH wanted to call DD Skylar but if thought about it now he wouldn't want to call her anything but Katie.

Once the baby is here I think you will concentrate on them not what you have called them. Not worth falling out over or stressing about imo.

nikki1978 · 14/10/2010 13:22

That first sentence should have been DH and I

Silkstalkings · 14/10/2010 21:01

Yes it does in the sense that you stop thinking about it. My DS1 is called Noah which I liked ok but thought it was too common. He is 5 now and have ceased to give a toss (still haven't met another one anyway).

Silkstalkings · 14/10/2010 21:04

Forgot to add, for our DC3 it was a case of the names we both hated the least iyswim. I kept giving him lists of 5 names I could live with and he would choose the one he hated least. I would note that down and eventually had a list of names we didn't completely hate!

smilingserenely · 14/10/2010 21:18

i would say no .dh fixated on one name for

dd4 and after that he insisted he liked no

other name in any book . he then vetoed any

of my numerous suggestions .it is a nice

name but wasn't "the one" for me .in the end

i gave in putting my favourite name as her

2nd name and a third compromise name with

which we could both live with but neither of us loved .7 months on despite trying to like the name and hoping it would grow on me on .i still loathe it and still cringe when
i hear it .even though i know it is in theory a nice name which other people compliment us on andwhich in many ways suits her .

so if you really don't feel right about i would definitely insist that he seriously considers alternatives .

mathanxiety · 15/10/2010 17:22

You get used to it, and it's easier if you can slip in a mn that takes the sting off the first name for you. Maybe it's a bit of a barometer for how much you think you're being listened to in the relationship too, but harder to swallow when it's the name of a child that you basically made yourself and you have the feeling someone else is imposing a choice on you...

Silkstalkings · 15/10/2010 21:01

If you have to compromise, go for a name that has many nickname options.

Fredfred · 16/10/2010 10:22

Keep trying to find a name you both like.

My DH and I found it really easy to pick DD's name as we both liked it straight away. This time it has been soooo hard! We have been trying to think of names that we agree on for the last 4 months. We finally came up with a list of 3 names for girls, but although I could live with them, I didn't love them the way I love DD's name. Then finally the other night my DH thought of a name that I love and goes really well with DD's name, so we are now sorted for a girls name. :o I am hoping the same will happen for a boys name because at the moment we can't agree.......we have 8 weeks left

PutTheKettleOn · 16/10/2010 13:42

I think the best way is to have a list of 3 or 4 names ready before you have the baby but not to decide for definite til the baby is born. Our list had my favourite, DH's favourite and a couple of compromise names. In the end as soon as she was born we knew which name would suit her, and it was one of the compromise names we had thought of at the last minute!

Although I do think DH was a bit sly as he was texting people with the name while I was still trying to catch my breath - I reckon it was in case I changed my mind back to my 1st choice, which he hated!

Secretwishescometrue · 16/10/2010 15:28

I think you do cause I didn't pick ds2 name and had really issues with it but I love him so much and its him so now I love It too...

dolphin13 · 16/10/2010 22:02

I think yes it would.

We adopted our dd2 and she came with a name I hated. It is chavvy sounding and wrongly spelt.
I asked for opinions on it here and everyone was horrified .
Now though I actually quite like it and couldn't imagine her being called anything else.

Still a nightmare pronouncing and spelling it for others though.

flopsy1974 · 17/10/2010 17:29

You both need to agree on names otherwise you may end up regretting it I would never let DH railroad me into a name I wasn't keen on and likewise with him.

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