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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Popularity - how important is it?

48 replies

Starberries · 01/10/2010 02:26

I have loved a name since getting together with DP 3.5 yrs ago, 24 wks pregnant and now having serious doubts as it has steadily climbed through the ranks over the past 5 years and is now sitting pretty in top 20 in UK and top 10 in US (relevant as I'm American and we will be there at least a quarter of the year).

I am one of those who really doesn't like popular names, but this one is lovely and was mine - there's an alternative that we both like but it, too, is climbing up and up - albeit it has just cracked the top 50 in both countries.

How important is popularity, really? If a name is number 9, does that mean every 5th child you meet will be called it? Would love to hear from both ends of the spectrum please.

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Whelk · 01/10/2010 08:53

If you love it, use it!
One of my dds has a very popular name (routinely sneered at on here as an almost laughable choice ) but I, dh and she love it.

We've only ever met one other one!

So, while a name may be overall popular it may not be in your neck of the woods.

In my opinion sometimes an unusual name can seem a little contrived and try hard.

CuppaTeaJanice · 01/10/2010 08:59

It doesn't bother a lot of people (obviously, or there wouldn't be 8000 Jacks born each year in the UK). But to me, a name is about identity, and that identity is somehow weakened and diluted if there are several other children with the same name in your neighbourhood.

If I named my child with a top 10 name, I would feel like I'd painted my entire house magnolia, got a job in IT and started wearing oversized fleece jumpers. If that makes sense?!

CuppaTeaJanice · 01/10/2010 09:00

There you go - both ends of the spectrum in just two posts!!!

HollyGoHeavily · 01/10/2010 09:05

My DDs name is mid-teens in terms of popularity and, in 3 years of playgroups and coffee mornings, have only ever met 2 others the same name as her...

In some ways it is luck of the draw - i have a friend with a DD with a very unusual name and there are now 2 others with the same name in our village. Go figure - just accept that you have no control really about what other call their children.

If you love the name then I would go with it.

gapbear · 01/10/2010 09:41

Think how I feel then...a few years ago I had my firstborn - Jacob, followed 18 months later by Edward.

The heroes of the Twilight books.
Now both my carefully chosen names are rocketing up the charts

Original poster

Starberries · 01/10/2010 11:25

Oh gapbear poor you - I guess that's the thing...you never know when a name is going to flip and jump up 30 places, like has recently happened to our second 'less popular' choice - it went from 100 to 50 in the US within 2 years. Our DS will most likely have the middle name of Edward due to family, my 15-year-old sister is very excited and thinks it has something to do with Twilight

I know there are a lot of MNers with children who have the name we love so I do know it is popular. DP keeps saying 'yes, there are a lot of X's, but he will be our X, so special anyway'. But i can't shake the feeling that you touched on so spectacularly cuppa, that his identity will be diluted.

OP posts:

bigstripeytiger · 01/10/2010 11:29

I agree with cuppa, I think that if you are a child with a very common name then it does dilute your identity a bit.

RunningOutOfIdeas · 01/10/2010 11:40

My DD has a very popular name. DH and I chose the name because we both liked it (after endless hours pouring over lists of names that we could not agree on). We did not take any notice of what was popular.

There is another girl in DD's nursery room with the same name. They love having the same name. Every day they find it hilarious to say to each other "hello xxx how are you to day". My DD is the older one and is idolised by the younger child purely because they have the same name. The younger is quite shy and her Mum feels that having some one that she identifies with so strongly has really helped her.

So, if you like the name I think you should use it. Your childs personality and actions will make them far more of an identifiable individual than their name does.

RunningOutOfIdeas · 01/10/2010 11:42

I think it is far more important for my child to be remembered for being kind or for having a particular talent, rather than being remembered for having an unusual name.

Rockbird · 01/10/2010 11:44

I deliberately refused to consider a name for DD that was inside the top 75. I have a very very common name of its time. I have always been one of many at school and work right the way through, without a single exception. Even when I was nannying one of my charges had the same name. At work now there are two of us in a small office. I have never ever had a period in my life when my last initial wasn't tacked onto the end of my name. I am always always Rockbird M and I hate it, really hate it.

Original poster

Starberries · 01/10/2010 11:46

Rockbird I'm the same as you - I've always been Starberries C - but one year, when I was 8, there were three Starberries C's in my class! I always felt like my mother didn't put enough creativity into my name as I got very lost among the crowds, I've always known tons of folks with my name also. I don't know that top 50 would bother me so much, but it's the cracking the US top 10 that really, really gets it going for me...

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mollycuddles · 01/10/2010 11:49

2 of my dcs have fairly common names, the other one not so common but the names mean something to me and dh hence our choices. I have no regrets. My name wasn't very common when I was growing up but is
much more common now due to a popular tv series so it's a bit unpredictable really. Go with the name you love.

Ulysses · 01/10/2010 11:57

I think it's ridiculous to suggest that having a common name dilutes your identity. In what way is this possible?

I was one of 5 Mandy/Amandas in my year at High School. I never felt any particular kindship with the others, nor was I compared to them in any way that I am aware of. We didn't form part of a collective, the only thing that we had in common was our names though I was friendly with most of them.

I think that's such a silly argument and I'm pretty sure most people who couldn't possibly choose a name in the top 10 go with it because it makes them feel as a parent that they are more artistic/intelligent/original and inventive than the next one.

Honestly, if you like a name go for it as there will sure to be some other child with the same one as some point in his or her life.

Am with RunningOutofIdeas on this one.

mopsyflopsy · 01/10/2010 11:59

To me the point of naming someone or something is to IDENTIFY it.

I have recently met a lot of adult Steves and Mikes that I find it difficult remembering their names - there are just so many of them. Whereas I'm much more likely to remember a less common name as that name then becomes associated witht that one person.

We chose names we loved. But we seem to love those names more that are less common/widespread. Our children have classic, old name that easy to spell and pronounce but are not overused as many others. Our ds's name for example was only given 13 times in 2008. Our daughter's name is more widespread but still outside of the top 100.

But some people may be less bothered about this and are happy for their children to be known as Jack A, Jack B or Jack C or little vs big Jack or whatever other addition to identify them.

lcj68 · 01/10/2010 12:04

I had an incredibly popular name at school, one of 7 in my school year so was always identified by my surname, and i hated it so vowed when I had kids I would be a bit more imaginative.
Even now in the workplace or at school gates there is still a few of us with the same name.
When picking DS1 names, I wasn't at any toddler groups etc so picked the name I liked and is now probably in top 20, but I know of only one other, so it hasn't really mattered. With DD and DS2 I got to know of the popular names doing the rounds, so continued the unusual theme, and other than on another thread on here have not ever come across either of their names, so I feel I have acheived my objective
If it doesn't matter to you, then it's not a problem

rachel234 · 01/10/2010 12:04

Having been one of 3 in my class I too would have preferred to have a name that belonged to 'me' and was jealous of my friends with beautiful less common names.

The other issue with very popular names is that, like fashion, they come into and then go out of fashion. Names like Sharon or Tracey or Steve are always associated with a certain era.

There are so, so many lovely names out there to choose from. And life would be more interesting if there was more name variety (it would also make it easier remembering people).

Sunlightdances · 01/10/2010 12:14

I have only met another Sunlightdances twice in my life. It means you don't get personalised keyrings on those rotating displays in card shops, but it does mean that you're one of a kind. It also means that people aren't generally sure how to spell your name. C'est la vie!

My sister is Lisa, and - while it's a well-known name - it really isn't used that often.

I met a little girl called Elodie and thought it was very unusual, then got onto MN and discovered it's really quite popular on this board!

I can only speak from my experience - I like having a name where people often stop and say, "Oh, that's pretty/unusual/rare".

hollyoaks · 01/10/2010 12:15

Both my dds have names in the top 50, probably top 20, and dd1 probably top 2!

We decided on dd1's name before I joined MN and didn't think it was common at all, still isn't in the area where we live. DD2's name is a classic name which is linked to my family.

Both have NNs which make them slightly more individual, but I agree with your dh, they're our X and Y and that's all that matters.

bigbluebump · 01/10/2010 12:22

Another vote for choosing a less popular name.

Can't really see any benefits of having a popular name - you'll always have to add something to help people distinguish you from the thousands of other namesakes, your name is linked to the period when it was 'fashionable' and you'll struggle to get an email account/domain name in your name without the addition of several numbers/letters .

Some people may not be bothered by this, and others may love a particular name so much that they'll choose it despite its popularity.

KERALA1 · 01/10/2010 13:30

Its a very personal thing some people are not bothered by it and cannot understand why it would matter it would really annoy me.I have a pretty dull name so tried to be abit more imaginative with my choices. In DDs class 4 little girls have the same name which seems a pity somehow when there are so many great names out there. Think outside the box!

flopsy1974 · 01/10/2010 15:26

I think alot of you folk on mumsnet get bit silly over the popularity of names. It seems like some people are prepared to give their child a 'second choice' name and pass over a name they really love just because it is in the top ten.
If you really love a name then you should go with it as you may regret it later.
My second son was named William - a very popular name according to the league tables, but it was the name we really loved so we went with it. So far we have not come across another William either at playgroup or school.
When you get people trying to be different you start to get silly or faddy names which will go out of fashion very quickly or will sound daft when they are 35 years old.
People need to remember that alot of names are popular for a reason - beacause they are nice and why wouldnt you want to give your child a nice name.

Wanderingsheep · 01/10/2010 15:43

I always think that if you love a name then you should go for it.

3 years ago when we named DD I didn't realise how popular the name was. I had never, in my life, met another! Now it's really common and there are lots of variations of the spelling too so it's probably more common than it says in the charts. However, DH and I still love the name and DD is the only one in her pre-school.

I'm now 19 weeks pg with our second DC and the name we have chosen for a girl (haven't got a boys name yet) is still very popular! I know a handful that go to different toddler groups. It's still a name that I love though and DH has his heart set on it.

Rockbird · 01/10/2010 16:02

flopsy have you not read my post and others who have said how pissed off you get with always being Firstname X and never just Firstname? It's not getting a bit silly. If, as Kerala says, it's something that bothers you then it's far from silly.

Original poster

Starberries · 01/10/2010 16:04

I also meant to say I think it's more relevant when it's a boy's name, because there is far less variation and names to choose from. So a name that's number 5 on the boys' list will more than likely be heard more often than a name that's number 5 on the girls' list.

We had our girl name picked out and it isn't even in the top 500 so that would have been fine...but of course it's a stubborn little boy instead

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Whelk · 01/10/2010 17:30

Popping back to see others views!
I have one of each- one really popular name and one really unusual name. We have honestly met more dds with the unusual name!

I think you have to be a little insecure to feel your identity is diluted by having a popular name tbh. I have a popular name and have never once felt like that! Get a grip!!

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