What to do if someone uses "your" name???

[BabyRoosMum]

Am currently 35 +6 and have been set on names for aaaages. Me and dp have told nobody (long story...he has tricky surname we have had to match with, plus trying to include Hindu/Mauritian?Indian heritage) so-a few days ago, an old school friend had her baby and lo-has called him the name we had for a boy! I'm really gutted as it was so hard to pick and I actually really liked it...I'd discounted loooooads of names because they were a bit too Indian for me (white-british) to get away with shouting across a play ground iykwim
Are there rules against using the same name? Am not terribly close to this lady, although if it was the other way round, I'd be really angry!!
Anyone with any hindu/mauritian/indian name suggestions would be a life saver at the mo...

Choose a name and use it. If there was a rule then I dont think we would have a list of top hundred most popular names.

If you're not that close and especially if they won't go to school together I use it...might be easier all round if you have a girl though!!

I'd use the name if you still love it. Are you definitely having a boy? I know a Rikesh who is from this background. I've always liked that name. How about Asha for a girl, again I know one from the same background.

Thanks for your replies....no we don't know if it's even a boy, so might not even be a problem, but dp is convinced it is and so I'm sort of going along with the "what if it is..." Think we might use it....thanks for the reassurance!!

my sister and i were pregnant at the same time, we were told ours was a boy and she was told a girl, we chose the name oliver which we had already picked when i was pregnant with our first but she turned out to be a girl, my sister went on to have a baby boy before ours was born and she named him oliver knowing full well that was the name we picked, luckily ours was born and was a girl so we were ok picking a new name.

Good God, no there are no 'rules'.
Names are out there for anyone to use.
It's just toguh if other peopel choose to use them too.

You say that Moondog, but it depends on how close in age children are, whether they'll be in the same circle etc.

if somebody's dc are Calypso and Marcelius and their next door neighbours then have twins called Calypso and Rufus, it would be a creepy and also, it would show complete shamelessness about copying and having no imagination. Also shows a lack of awareness of 1) boundaries and 2) to other people's reactions and feelings.

There is middle ground though, if the name is Ruby or Jack or Emily then those names are popular because lots of people like them. If you pick a name that most people don't like then it would be bizarre if a close friend or neighbour used it.

If you can live with being that person perceived to have no boundares and no imagination then go right ahead.

So if it's a popular normal name then just run it past your friend/neigbour first to be polite. But don't copy an acquaintances original name. It's sad. Find your own original name, if you trust your own taste....

ps, OP I'd ring the girl up and say that you had picked out that particular name and it was a long road getting that name. Tell her the reasons why you picked it. You weren't inspired by her, and if you talk to her she'll realise that.

I wouldnt worry about it, if it were family or great friends you saw very regularly then maybe it would be an issue but an old school friend doesnt really sound like someone who is part of your life on a week to week basis therefore I wouldnt even think twice about it - use the name you love.

I am taking all your comments as permission to use- thanks :)
I will give her a call but will wait a couple of weeks, as I'm sure she doesn't even know which way is up at the moment!
Still corssing my fingers it'll be a girl, as love my girls name way more :)

Def use - but maybe say to friend when you speak to them that that's what you'll call it.

And future ref - if anyone ever has the name you pick - say it as soon as you have the conversation with them over baby names - saves hassle later!

Agree - use it and mention it to this lady.

You and your dh can choose to call your baby whatever you like. You are not copying anyone if you are choosing a name that is already out there and it just happens your old friend also liked the same name. It is not the same as purposely choosing to use a really unusual name that someone else has made up. If anyone else thinks you are copying they will either keep their thoughts to themselves or will say them out loud and then you can say something like ?Oh yes, we were obviously on the same wavelength, we choose the name ages ago too!?

My boss?s wife and I were pregnant at the same time. I know it sounds weird but I kind of thought she would like the same name as me (we are both Christians, about the same age, our first baby and we both liked a slightly popular but not so traditional name). I talked to boss (her dh) before babies were born and said a few names I liked including my intended name. He said nothing but his wife had the baby six weeks before me and named the baby the same name I wanted. He said to me he knew his wife liked it when I mentioned it to him too. I never thought of no using it. My old boss, his wife and both our dd never see each other these days, although we are in touch by facebook, we all have new jobs, except dds!

If you want to then I would say to your friend before the birth that this is one of your chosen names if you have a boy. That way she will not be surprised. She might even be flattered but whatever she feels you should chose your baby's name as you think is right, not based on what friend says etc!

I guess what I am saying is, use it!

Good luck.