Come and calm me down!

[ReshapeWhileDamp]

I'm in the grip of horrible pregnancy hormones (really, this is the worst possible time to be choosing baby names. We should all do it five years in advance and put them in a sealed envelope.), we're about to move house and I'm contemplating all the packing that has to be done, I've got SPD and constant pain, and am generally feeling sorry for myself.

A couple of weeks ago, when we found out that DC2 was another boy and we told my PIL, they tried to initiate a Names Chat. I headed them off at the pass, but not before my MIL had told me she hated the name Arthur. Don't know where it came from, we'd never mentioned it to her, but in fact it was on our list and I love it. And then a little later, DH admitted he didn't really like it, so that is a good reason for knocking it off the list. But I still love it. And am cross at the faint suggestion that even if DH did like it too, we couldn't really use it because of MIL's pre-emptive veto. [anger]

Ivan is another name that's been floating round my head, and I really like that too. (Yes, I like David Cameron's choice in boy's names, apparently. ) Just mooted it to DH and the first bloody thing he said was 'Oh god, that was the name of my mother's first husband'. (MIL's first husband is not deceased, merely a Big Mistake and never, ever spoken of. I had no idea the bastard was called Ivan!)

Ok, so it transpires that independently of that, DH doesn't really like the name Ivan either (is he EVER going to agree on a name with me?) but AIBU to be really pissed off that my MIL seems to be operating a remote influence on names I happen to really like? yes, probably! But it feels like that. I really need to get a sense of proportion, but I fear that won't happen until Unnamed DS2 is outside of me.

The only other boy's name (why are they so HARD?) I like a lot is ... the name of an ex. Sort of THE ex, really. You may roll your eyes now. DH thinks he likes it but honestly, I'm not sure he really does, and I'm not sure about naming my son after someone I once loved. Bit dodgy, isn't it?

Come and calm me down/throw a bucket of cold water over me!

sorry your post made me laugh.

What about Ivor?

What, you mean The Engine?

DS1 would like that - he'd love nothing better than for his new baby brother to be a train!

Seriously, there are a lot of male Welsh names I love (and I think DH does too, he lived in Wales a long time) but we don't live in Wales, we're not Welsh, and I think in order to call your boy Ivor or Meredith or Daffyd (sp?) or Evan, you have to be Welsh, really.

Elmer
Edgar
Uther

Any help?

There, there.

You have good reason not to use the last two, but no good reason not to use Arthur except that your dh doesn't like it either.

Think of it this way; you've identified and eliminated the two most unwise choices already, so unless your MIL has another unmentionable ex-husband lurking in the cupboard, you are now free to pick what you like!

Come back to it in a few days and start afresh, go through a name book with your dh.

Uther - not keen but it would sort of be Arthur by stealth (being all Arthurian and all...). Elmer is an elephant to me, sorry!

I like Edwin and so, cautiously, does DH, but not sure, and it doesn't go with the surname (which ends in -man) (so no, Ivan wouldn't have worked really either, would it?).

MIL will come up with all sorts of objections to names she just doesn't like (it's a dog's name, I lived next door to someone called that and he smelt, I hated someone at school called that, etc) so obviously, we're not telling her any of our ideas now. I just don't want to even hear her talking about names in case she hits on yet another one we secretly like. It's not like we have many boy's names on our list.

Argh, this is too stressful at the moment. I think we should put it on hold until after we move into the new place.

I like Arthur too

If it weren't for your DH not liking it I would go ahead and use it, sod the MIL.

I was also quite happy to use the ex's name, if we'd had a boy (we had two girls). It's DH's middle name and a family name on his side.

What are DH's favourite names? If he can't come up with any then Arthur it is!

Oh, so would I, WOWY. Sod her anyway!

Dh is notoriously circumspect and holds things close to his chest. About all we now agree on is Edwin (but doesn't fit the surname) and I'm not sure about that myself. The ex's name is classic, traditional and not particuarly used at the moment (loads of them in our generation though!). DH says he doesn't mind it's got 'baggage' - I just have to make sure I don't mind!

Dh just suggested Gareth. I'm not keen. I'm as bad as he is.

I absolutely LOVE Arthur - it's currently second to Leo on my list. Why don't you see if you can persuade DH again before writing it off - maybe watch a King Arthur movie??

Maybe. It won't leave my head, so as far as I'm concerned, it's still on my own list, if not his. I like Artie and Art too, and it goes very well with the surname and with DS's name.

At least, now DC2 is confirmed as a boy, we will never have to have the argument about Lydia, which I adore. DH says it makes him want to sing the song 'Lydia the Tattoo'd Lady' .

I think Arthur is lovely. It is weird you MIL mentioned it. Are you sure you didn't call out that name in your sleep?

Lol! I don't sleep with my MIL! I don't think DH ever mentioned it to her either, this time or last time we named a boy.

Oh well. It's a shame he doesn't like it, otherwise it'd be top favourite at the moment, but you can't very well go on wanting a name that your other half is set against.