is this odd/abad idea

[almostinvisiblewoman]

december 2005 m/c little girl at15/16 weeks at that stage in pregnancy i had considered phoebe . 5 years on dd4 arrives can't settle on a name and am wondering whether calling her phoebe would be odd . obviously there is no written record of baby from 2005 name .only i know what i was thinking at the time .
any one named a baby after a name they'd considerd for a m/c or is it wrong /bad luck etc
opinions please

I think it would be a lovely thing to do.

Not bad luck at all, a way to remember your lost DD.

I've not done it as am lucky enough never to have had mc but cannot see any reason not to.

If you are not sure how about Phoebe as a middle name?

I have not m/c so can't put myself in your shoes but my view is it's a lovely name and a nice way to honour your first child. Difficult decision though so good luck and all the best.

I don't see how it's different from using any name that you have considered in the past. All the names that we have given our dc were names that we considered in each pregnancy - shows how much we liked those names! Ihave had 2 mcs. That doesn't mean that a name I might have considered for the baby that was lost was now taken and therefore unavailable for subsequent pgcies.

But - and I know not everyone feels this way - I don't consider my mcs as 'lost babies'. I consider them to be lost opportunities. Having had another child, I no longer grieve over the mcs.

The real issue is how would you feel? Would using the same name make you feel sad or anxious? Or as if the new baby was a replacement rather than someone loved for his or her own sake? In which case, don't do it. Otherwise, if it's simply your favourite name, go ahead.

It all depends on how you feel, but I think it's a lovely name and not weird to use at all.

Lovely thing to do. x

No, not weird- unless you actively refer to the mc as 'phoebe' rather than 'the baby' or something like that. If it's just a name you like and thought you might use, fine. Congratulations

Hmmm, not sure about this one. Think it's lovely in sentiment, but wonder how your new child would feel if (when?) she found out later on?

Could go either way I suppose, she could be delighted and much cherished / wanted, or would she feel as though she were a replacement - a second best?

If you never intend to tell her, then no worries I suppose. personally, I quite liked the second name idea.

Good luck!

Not had a mc so take my comment as you will, but it used to be common (i.e. previous centuries) to give the same name to later arriving siblings following the loss of an older one. I've got loads of examples going back a few generations in my family tree.

Definitely not odd and congratulations!