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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Did you tell anyone your baby name before the arrival?

30 replies

birdofthenorth · 06/08/2010 10:23

I'm 38.5 weeks along and DH and I decided on Bess short for Elizabeth as our DD-to-be's name months ago, and have been referring to her as Bess since. My austitic DSS (7) also calls her Bess all the time rather than 'the baby', which we think has been helpful in preparing him.

We haven't told anyone else in the real world her name as (a) I don't want to tempt fate and (b)I'd rather leave it until the big announcement when she's a real huggable bairn.

However, yesterday we fitted 'Bess' lettering to her nursery in excitment -looks lovely! My in laws are coming for a week next week and I'm torn whether to take it down and try to keep the name as a surpise, or let them in on the secret. I'm worried they might not like it -but then given we've gone as far as to buy lettering, I hope they'd bite their tongues if that were the case! I'm also worried they'll tell all their side of the family as MIL is lovely but not good at keeping secrets (their entire extended family knew about the pregnancy long before 12 weeks she was so excited!).

But then, my DSS will doubtless call the baby by name when they are here, so it may be futile to keep up the surprise.

Did you all tell people your names pre-birth? Any annoying reactions?

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SweetnessAndShite · 06/08/2010 10:26

No because we didn't want anyone to give a negative reaction which they're much more likely to do if you say "We like x name" than "here's x, our beautiful new baby". Congrats, btw

mumoffourgirls · 06/08/2010 10:28

I think Bess is a lovely name, we hadnt decided on a name for DD4 untill she was born, lots of suggestions but none seemed right. DD4 was born and DP and I both said at the same time what about Emily? so that is what she was called..

DrivenToDistraction · 06/08/2010 10:32

No, we didn't tell anyone the first name either time. It's really best not to. I'd take the letters down temporarily if I were you.

Tuschinski · 06/08/2010 11:25

No. I'm 38.5 weeks too and I haven't even told my husband! Seriously, I'm afraid to tell him my first choice in case he hates it!
I didn't tell last time either and when I told my Mam after DD was born I knew she didn't really like it, it's Isabella and she was saying stuff like, what about Isabel instead? If I'd known she wouldn't like it it might have put me off so I'm glad I didn't tell.
If I were you I'd take the letters down and if your DSS calls the baby by name I'd just laugh it off and say it was his choice.

BlueChampagne · 06/08/2010 13:28

We didn't tell anyone beforehand either, so I agree with Tuschinski - I'd take the letters down and come up with an excuse if your other son mentions Bess - such as that's the nickname for your bump.

Congratulations though, and hope all goes well over the next few weeks!

chegggersplayspop · 06/08/2010 13:35

Yes I told everyone both times.

We don't go for whacky names anyway, so didn't expect any negative reactions. In any case you choose a name because you love it so if anyone else doesn't like it they can sod off!

Bess/elisabeth is beautiful anyway and I think it's sweet that your dss already uses it.

Original poster

birdofthenorth · 06/08/2010 13:42

Hmmm thinking I might take the letters down then!

Amazed your mam objected to Isabella Tuschinski, if names that sweet and uncontroversial draw less than 100% comments from parents then perhaps no name is immune from subtle digs!

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Tuschinski · 06/08/2010 14:11

I know! I thought it was about as safe as they came. I think she just finds it too long, my Dad always calls her Isabel, like the extra syllable is too much effort!

ben5 · 06/08/2010 14:17

with ds1 we had a couple of names but hadn't decided on just one. we also didn't know what we were having so had boys and girls names. when ds1 arrived he just suited benjamin. i choose the name. when expecting ds2 we decided on james for a boy or amy for a girl, as dh was expected to be away for birth( he's forces). we told people our choices but we didn't find out the sex before hand again so it was a nice surprise.

catbus · 06/08/2010 15:07

No!

Tend to have a 'shortlist' of names, but is only when the baby arrives that you see whether the name really fits them or not.

Have done this each time with our DCs: nobody knows any of our thoughts and when they are born we both just know. HTH.

GladioliBuckets · 06/08/2010 16:05

Yes we did once we were sure, we didn't care what people thought of them. We found it so hard to agree on names so we seized on the few we both liked.

PaulineCampbellJones · 06/08/2010 19:50

We didn't put our letters up til DD was born. Told nobody except my parents but wished I hadn't as they didn't like the name we chose! (Orla)
As I knew I was having a girl I wanted to keep something secret from people.

oopsandbabycoconuts · 06/08/2010 20:03

We had a shortlist of 3 which we told both sets of parents. MIL liked 1, was okay about 1 and called one chav. When DD was born we both said she wasn't a Natasha or a Katya so we went with the 3rd choice, which was unfortunately for MIL the 'chav' one

lola0109 · 06/08/2010 22:03

With DD1 we told people her name beforehand and did get some negative comments, so I would wait.

With DD2 we didn't have a name, threw about some ideas and again everyone has an opinion.

I'd keep it secret for now!

Oh and btw, DD2 is Elizabeth too! :o

Ineedsomesleep · 07/08/2010 12:35

We didn't tell anyone either. We thought at the time that people wouldn't be rude about the name once they were introduced to the baby, but we were wrong, my Mum and sister were still rude.

Personally, I'd take the letters down if it could cause problems. Best to let everyone find out at the same time.

Bess and Elizabeth are both lovely names btw.

ilovesprouts · 07/08/2010 20:04

my dd and i both told everyone who asked what we was calling our ds ,we like then thats all the matters if others dont like my choice of names then its tuff ,we are not gonna lose sleep over it

Original poster

birdofthenorth · 07/08/2010 20:08

Thanks all v helpful! Can't believe people are still rude once the baby's here- I may not react well if anyone's mean about the name too soon after childbirth! Definately seems safer to try to keep schtum until then, esp it it does reduce the chances of negative comments. I'd rather not know if anyone close to me hates our name!

OP posts:

ilovesprouts · 07/08/2010 20:13

well my son is called kenzie ,and my grandson is called oakley ,love there names and it deffo suits them

Chynah · 07/08/2010 23:45

We told no one although we referred to bump by it's chosen name in private. Didn't want anyones opinion as we had our minds made up very early on with both.

Manda25 · 08/08/2010 07:46

We had 2 boy and 2 girls names - e told people from when ever it was we decided on them (i guess 6/7 months) .... if i had known the sex of baby i would properly kept the name/s secret just so there was a little surprise at the end.

ninedragons · 08/08/2010 08:03

Only a very, very few close friends whose taste I thought was excellent.

Wanted a bit of a sounding board, just in case I hadn't realised the initials spelt SHIT or something, but only from people who had children with names I liked!

If a mother of a Chard'nay-Shiraz had told me she didn't like the name, I wouldn't have given a toss.

LaDiDaDi · 08/08/2010 09:15

Dp told work colleagues and his mother one of our choices for ds. His mother was appalled and his boss's wife rang him from her holiday to say how awful it was ! (It was Stanley to be known as Stan). It totally put dp off the name.

We then chose another name and only told my close friend and her dh the day before I had ds when we called around to their house and they asked. I was 99% sure that my friend would like it and that even if she didn't she would be too polite to say!

DinahRod · 08/08/2010 09:22

We didn't because it invites comment - especially from my ILs - the sort you don't get once the baby is here.

anyabanya · 08/08/2010 09:29

We did niot tell anyone, ebcause we did not know ourselves. Baby was not named for about 5 days. We had a shortlist, and a short-short list of two, but we wanted to see what felt right when we saw him. But people never believed us when we said we had not chosen yet, and we got all sorts of hurt enquiries from respective mothers, thinking we were holding out on them.

As it was, we chose something very old fashioned, and thoroughly out of favour now as we named him after one of our fathers. Everyone grimaces when we tell them. I rather like it myself.

anyabanya · 08/08/2010 09:30

Orla and Bess are both classic and beautiful, IMHO.

Isabella is my favourite ever girl's name.

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