How can I take responsibility for my health when people keep coming to work sick?

[SoDoneIn]

I am mid 40s with a rheumatic auto immune disease for which I’m taking immunosuppressant medications. I recently had a flare up so was also put on prednisolone to get it under control.

The problem is I keep getting infections now. It’s been one after the other this past couple of weeks. I’m on my third set of antibiotics for my third different infection. I stop the biologics while on antibiotics to allow myself the chance to recover.

The problem is I have no option but to keep going with life. I have young children in school, a partner who does front line shift work who can’t just walk away to look after me and the kids. and people constantly coming into work sick. (Sedentary non public facing )

I’m forever reading on mumsnet how it is my own responsibility to keep myself safe from sick people who need to go to work and have a right to be out in public shedding their diseases because covid is over now and so it’s free for all for sickness. But how do I do this when I can’t go to work without people making me sick and my kids forever coming home with sickness because people send their kids in to school sick now too?

I’m genuinely scared at how quickly things have got bad and am aware they could get worse still but I feel so powerless to protect myself. Masks alone don’t do it. What can I do to protect myself more short of quitting work, becoming a hermit and leaving my family?

Hi OP, sorry you’re having such a hard time! I know what you mean about people coming into work poorly, I’m currently pregnant and feel like I’ve spent the last 6 months jumping straight from one cold/flu to the next with the occasional sickness bug added for good measure! Colleagues are quite proudly turning up to the office announcing they are full of cold, have been up all night vomitting etc!

The only thing I can suggest really is maybe seeing if there is somewhere private you can work? I know in our office we have an open floor plan but there are also meeting rooms & offices which can be booked for individual use. Could that be an option for you? You could maybe even request this as a reasonable adjustment?

The problem is parents get hassled about attendance if their kids have a day off sick. And many people don’t get paid or again get hassled, or behind on work if they have a day off work sick. Ideally people would work from home when they’re poorly (but not too sick to work) to avoid spreading illness but it’s not always possible. Obviously I don’t know the situation at your workplace.

I work in care, so whilst I don’t want to spread anything to my clients if I’m poorly (which luckily for me is very very rarely), me calling in sick means I don’t get paid, the agency frantically have to find cover for my shift which isn’t easy, and I basically get a telling off for missing a shift.

Thanks @Mrsttcno1 We dont have anywhere else for me to go. I’m having to interact with these people a lot so even if I was in a room on my own I’d still have to be in meetings or have them pop in and out. I asked for some kind of air filter system but was refused as it wasn’t deemed justified for the cost. I’m at such a loss.

its impossible to make not getting sick a personal responsibility Only because So many illnesses are passed between people unseen.

I’m so disheartened just now

So please do tell me, how can I take more personal responsibility for not getting sick (and when I get sick it is not possible for me to go into work because I am floored and usually on pneumonia watch) when people like you think it’s more important for you to be in work sick ?

I don’t have unlimited sick leave? I too have responsibilities.

what is your solution as you are part of the problem?

Could working from home be an option for you? If not in your current job then perhaps you could find one where it is?

I know you shouldn’t have to do that but the reality is that people do come into work when they are unwell, at least in my office it’s pretty frequent, and there’s nothing we can do about that really. As another poster has said for some people if they don’t work then they don’t get paid and so they will push on and work almost no matter what.

There are also employers who do really frown upon ringing in sick/being off sick, not mine thankfully but my husband’s employer have a terrible attitude towards it and they really do make staff feel very guilty for ringing in sick and so the result is that they all power through even when really they should be at home because otherwise they get a bollocking from management.

Until those bigger issues are dealt with there are always going to be people who come in when they are unwell and at that point really all you can do is take yourself out of that environment as best you can.

Can you get a WFH job? Wear a face mask or visor when you need to be in close contact with people?

Otherwise unfortunately you are always going to be exposed to people who are sick. Most people do take time off when very ill but you can't expect that everyone will take sick leave if they just have a mild cold or are 80% better and don't want to take any longer away from work. They all have limited sick leave too and employers aren't going to look too kindly at people who go off sick with every little thing.
Also people are going to have sick kids at home but not sick themselves, are you suggesting they should all stay off work to avoid spreading germs around? Not realistic is it?

I think sadly we've reached a point where it's lose-lose all round and everyone is struggling. Money is tight for so many people, combined with the collective hangover from the covid dreadfulness means people are largely In a mindset of every man for himself. I dont think its necessarily selfishness but necessity. Of course there are then many competing necessities across a population. The colleague coming in sick may be trying desperately to keep a roof over their family's head and unable to think beyond that.

I don't think there's an easy answer unfortunately, but it must be very frustrating to feel at the mercy of others for your health.

@SoDoneIn (((HUG)))

I think @FortofPud is right, we have reached lose/lose.

i totally understand your pov. Totally, but getting angry at other people who are under pressure to have kids in school and to be at work, isn't going to help.

my friend started with another bout if Covid, her work were not impressed! It lead to several other issues & she was signed off. The pressure she has been under to return to work has been disgraceful and she's in a small, non ventilated office with 6 others - they've all had colds/Covid etc etc

she's so unwell but can't have anymore time off.

she's the main earner & can't afford to tell them to fuck off.

im vulnerable (not as vulnerable as you though) and at my current job can stay out of the main germ fest, but my job is ending & im dreading getting a new job but still too far from being able to retire.

im need to start looking for WFH but menopausal brain fog, it's all too much.

can you minimise risk by looking for WFH (doesn't stop partner & kids bring stuff home, but limits your direct exposure).

hopefully better weather is on its way and hopefully fewer bugs around.

take care
xx

There are no appropriate wfh jobs that I can do. I have been looking and all are blended or demanding returns to office.

i have all the same responsibilities as everyone else so yes I’m angry. We used to care for our vulnerable and now we hang them out to dry.

Why are you stopping your biologics?

I understand your frustration but no one is hanging you out to dry. Everyone is doing exactly the same as you are, just trying to do their best in life to meet their responsibilities and provide for their families.

You’re probably more at risk from your own children than your colleagues anyway. At least you don’t get up close to your colleagues and as adults they can be trusted to be hygienic, unlike children.

I have become a recluse, OP. Fortunately, I'm retired so am able to but I would love to be out in the world again. But how can I when selfish people think they matter more than me?

My MH is in the gutter. I don't understand how people willingly risk the health of others, I really don't.

I think this is the sad reality of it. Nobody actively wants to leave the house and go into work when they are unwell, but when they have employers who don’t pay sick pay for example they simply don’t have a choice.

Nobody is hanging anybody out to dry, everybody is just trying to look after themselves and their families as best they can.

The people to be angry at are not the colleagues who are coming into work because they have to get paid to feed their families, you need to get angry at the big bosses who are too focused on lining their own pockets to pay sick pay & allow staff to be off work when they need to be rather than guilt tripping them back in before they are ready.

Sick people should stay at home/socially distance (Covid is irrelevant to this). Not always that simple with work sickness policies though.

A person can carry an infection and spread it days before they get any symptoms. So even if they stay home when feeling unwell, other people are still at risk of catching whatever they have.

Because she’s taking antibiotics. As she’s referred to watching out for pneumonia I would presume she’s particularly vulnerable to chest infections.

OP you can't expect people to stay at home whenever they have a minor illness, society would grind to a halt (again).

Some basic infection control though would be good.. handwashing, sneezing and coughing in to a tissue, those sort of things. Sadly people have forgotten how effective they are.

But taking personal responsibility is looking after yourself, not expecting people to stay home with minor illnesses. People can’t stay home with minor colds or similar. If you don’t want to be around them you need to adapt your life, not expect everyone else to change theirs.

Exactly this, as someone who also has an auto immune condition, on immunosuppression and also pregnant so very vulnerable. You can’t tell people they are part of the problem for not staying home for very minor illnesses. Nothing would function.

i’m not sure that you ‘can’ take responsibility for your own health tbh. You can only do your best.

I think many people go to work ill as there is a culture in this country that you go to work unless you’re dying. Bosses at many workplaces pull you up on lots of sickness.

My DH and I both mainly wfh, and we still catch illnesses from our kids, so i don’t think you’ll be able to avoid it either way as you have kids.

Why is she ‘part of the problem’? She has pointed out why people continue to go into work or school when they may be ill. That’s not her fault.

Biologics increase your risk of infection and weaken your immune system

I never had to stop my Humira- presume it's type dependant.

Yes, was on Humira for years but never had to stop when taking antibiotics so I assume it depends on the type of biologic.

@SoDoneIn Have you sat down with your manager (and occupational health and HR if the organisation is large enough to have one) and discussed this with them? They may have ideas to support you or more likely haven’t even thought about it but may come up with some strategies for you.