Support to find work

[DaesieMay]

My daughter suffers from lupus and has had chronic fatigue since she was 10 (now 20). She is struggling to find a suitable apprenticeship/job and can't face/commit to either university or a 37 hours a week job. She also has depression.

Is there anything she can or should do? It seems she can't sell herself well as she knows deep down (maybe not so deep) that she can't actually manage a full time job. I guess it's not a good time for anyone.

Any advice or positive experiences would be gratefully received XX

How about a voluntary job in a library, charity shop, care home etc.?

if she needs to be especially careful to distance from others due to the pandemic, there will be something suitable somewhere as she won't be asking for a wage.

Volunteering will give her a chance to build experience and skills and give her something to put on a cv.

It can also give a sense of worth if she finds a role where she is regularly thanked for what she is doing. This might help with the depression.

There's nothing wrong with part time hours and it would not achieve anything to accept a job she couldn't do / that would make her ill. No point trying to "sell herself" for one of those. There is no need to aim for 37 hours a week (I mean, that's a completely random number of hours that we've given a status, it doesn't mean anything and it doesn't make her lesser if she lives differently).

She might be better off mentally and physically if she sets herself smaller goals that she can achieve. That way she gets the boost of feeling the achievement and success without damaging her health and leaving herself unable to do anything. In time that builds confidence. Lots of victories feels good, even if they're small victories.

Much better than setting herself up to fail and taking even more knocks.

I work part time due to disability. It takes time to accept you have limitations, but once you do life is better. You're not constantly frustrated. You don't feel like a failure all the time. Once you stop setting yourself up to fail by pushing yourself too hard because you're trying to wish the disability away, you can find things that enrich your life instead. You get to succeed and you get a balanced life with energy for pleasurable activities.

Thank you for your replies. Sometimes I think it's me who has the problems accepting her limitations. I can't imagine managing financially with a part time job.

I'll never retire and have my daughter look after me in my old age! Lol maybe it's time for me to sell up and get that tea room and alpaca farm started up