Returning to NZ?

[ByPinkCat]

We’re classic ping pong poms who are desperate to come back. NZ folk are warning us life in NZ has gone to sh*t, people are leaving etc. I feel the same about life in the UK, it feels awful. But it isn’t a cold calculation of where we’d be better off, it’s that NZ feels so much more like home. That said, I know how hard moving internationally is for kids, and if things are really tough out there then maybe it would be better for them if we gave them the stability of staying. It would be good to know the details though so we can make an informed choice, as nobody’s actually elaborated on this. So first question is what specifically feels harder about life for you nowadays?

Also keen to hear any recs for places to live (if we do come back). Used to live on the coast near Whangarei. Loved the people, lifestyle, weather, sense of community, beaches & bush, but struggled with career progression (‘white collar’ jobs) and maybe would be good to have a lil bit more variety of things to do for adults & teens. Haven’t ruled out returning there since we have friends out that way, but we’re wondering about Tauranga, and really open minded to anywhere, so long as not too cold in winter as we’re wimps. 😄

Sorry if I've missed this, but where are you both originally from and where are your families? Have work prospects improved there? I lived in Aus for many years and found the work/life balance so much better than the UK. There are pros/cons with both. Have you written out a list?

I can't comment on NZ specifically, but when I was 8 and my brother was 4, we moved abroad to the middle east. Admittedly, we always knew it was a temporary thing, but my parents extended the contract and stayed 3yrs. It was an amazing experience for me, I met new friends very quickly and love many aspects of it.

Would renting out your UK home an option, then if needed, you'd have somewhere to return to? It would also be handy income.

Hello! Not sure how much I can advise but I've been wanting to start the same thread myself. I have exactly the same concerns as you so would love someone to discuss things with.

I was born in UK, but moved to NZ when I was 2 so grew up there. DH is a "real kiwi" (his words!) We've been in the UK for 13 years. Had a lot of family in the UK but now feeling aging parents need to be my priority. My kids are aged 8 and 5, how old are yours @ByPinkCat ? How long have you spent in NZ?

We’re British, were out there about 5 years, came back just before the pandemic but decided to return within a year, however got stuck here over Covid, and it hasn’t felt right to uproot the kids since borders reopened.

@kiwiblue 8 and 5 are good ages for moving; old enough to understand, young enough to transition fairly easily. Would you be moving near family too? Ours are teens/tweens now. More difficult ages, but for various reasons everyone’s circled back round to a point where it’s starting to feel more feasible for them. Wouldn’t move them to a new country at this age, but NZ still feels like half of their home. Needless to say though, if it’s not right for them then it’s a no, but there is a window next year where we could do it without messing up their education due to the differences between the two systems, hence considering it now.

@JDM625 Funnily enough we’ve just written a list of all the pros and cons. Cons are mostly practical things, but surmountable (though it’s partly why I’ve posted this, as I know a country can change a lot in a few years, so don’t want to assume we’d be returning to the same NZ - there may be other cons we’re not aware of yet). The many pros are long & heartfelt, but basically amount to: we’re miserable here, and we were happy there. Yet I do know rose-tinted glasses are a thing. It’s great to hear you had such a good experience of your time in the Middle East. It’s hard for kids but it’s also so enriching when the dust settles. Renting the house out is an option, but probably more minded to sell if we do it, as would be difficult to reverse the move with the kids at this age.

@ByPinkCat we're exactly the same with pros and cons list. I was initially reluctant when DH first raised it as we're settled here, kids are in a great school and I have good friends in our town. The pros are emotional for DH, he misses it and wants the kids to grow up as kiwis, so not things we can really argue against. To your points about hearing the country is going to pot etc, I worry too - all our parents say the education system is crap!

It's heartening to hear you say my kids are good ages as I do worry they're getting too old, so thanks for that.

Do you have any practical thoughts re the schooling system? Is there any way to find out which year they would go into etc? I figure it's better for them to start a school year here and then start a school year there in February, if possible.

We want to live in Auckland which is where we grew up. DH's parents are in Auckland, my mum is in Bay of islands so not that near. My dad is in Tauranga but is dying (I just returned today from an urgent trip to see him). Really heartbreaking as spending more time with him was one of my main motivations for moving back 😥

The main issue I see at the moment is a very tight job market. I'm public sector and there have been so many job cuts by the new government which seem to be driven by ideology, not looking at what we're need to run a country.

The heath system is also struggling with something like 20 percent of Dr jobs vacant. Despite this a below inflation pay deal is being offered.

I'm not a fan of the current government but I think I may be an outlier!

On the plus side for you, house prices are down by about a third from their peak.

So wrote a huge message and somehow managed to delete it! Anyway this could literally be us. I lived in nz 15 years, met my now husband there 12 years ago, had our first child there (he’s 4.5). We’ve been back in the uk since may last year and we’re still not settled, we miss our NZ life so much. We moved back when I was 21 weeks pregnant with our second as we wanted grandparents/family in their lives. But England is busy, gloomy, my husbands working more hours for less money, there’s less for kids to do where we are vs where we were, we don’t see family as much as we thought. It’s like we made this huge sacrifice and it doesn’t seem like it’s quite worth it. Trying to figure out how we can get back there, I’d go tomorrow if it were possible!

100% relate exactly to how you feel. Life just feels utterly grim here. In the 5 months since I posted this thread, we have talked a lot as a family, and we still haven’t ruled out returning, but I fear we may be trapped here as our older kids are in their teens now, no longer seem to remember the quality of life they had in NZ, and they are desperate to stay near their friends. I desperately regret not returning sooner when everyone was younger. My advice to you, with kids at those ages, would be to stick your house on the market (if you have one to sell), apply for jobs from here if you can, but just pack your bags and go. Your kids are at the perfect ages right now. Worst case scenario, you can live in a campervan and work in hospo until the right jobs come up. I know that sounds extreme but it’s NZ and anything goes! I would do it tomorrow if I possibly could. Good luck 🤞

I'm a Kiwi in Australia and I'd be very wary of returning to NZ. The economy is scary and the COL is very high. I'd love to go home when we retire but I just don't think it's a good choice.

I miss NZ though.

I would say not to worry about the kids as much as you are - I was absolutely worried to death mine wouldn’t settle when we moved from uk to australia (there were 10 and 13 and it couldn’t have gone any better. They miss their old friends but keep in touch on social media etc

Obviously I am in Australia and house prices here are crazy - NZ sounds a better deal. I am honestly so glad to be out the UK - it has been hard but for us def worth it.

Following with interest as we are currently in East Asia and looking at NZ/Aus for our next move for in a year or two’s time. We have lots of Kiwi friends but most of them don’t live in NZ and I’ve heard there’s a fundamental issue with jobs/COL. Pay is crap for my sector compared to Australia, but they’re throwing PR at my industry and DH is over 45, so IDK because a stable visa situation would be good to get the kids settled.

Would you consider Aus? We started in NZ, husband gov job. Moved to Aus, career progression has been insane. House has more than doubled in value. Lifestyle is amazing, weather is great. We are in QLD. Husband travels between NZ and here for work and NZ is very expensive and hasn’t recovered since covid sadly.

It’s really good to hear your kids settled. Can I ask if they were resistant before you left or did they come willingly? The one of ours I’m most worried about is nearly 15. I’ve been in contact with a couple of schools and educationally it wouldn’t be so bad if we did it next year. Ironically it would be easier school-wise to move him back to NZ than it would be to move within England at this age due to the different systems, and I think the NZ system would suit him better as he’s more into vocational and hands on learning. But he has a girlfriend (albeit on-off) and a massive social circle here and he’s tearfully adamant he doesn’t want to come. I just don’t know if we can do it to him.

We’d consider it, yes (though issues with kids would still apply). NZ will always have the most special place in our hearts, but I can see objectively we’d probably have a better standard of living in Australia, and it’d be a damn sight easier to visit from there. I’m just not sure if we could make immigration work now, and the appeal of already having PR in NZ is strong. (Sadly we’re not citizens yet so couldn’t get into Aus that way.) We’re both public sector office workers - husband at a senior level (NHS management, non clinical) and me a mid tier government worker, but generalists and won’t appear on any skills lists. Husband now early 40s, I’m a few years younger. We did the immigration quiz for the 189 and it suggested 80 points but I’ve no idea if that’s accurate or competitive. We’d need PR in place by the time our kids were looking at uni. Wouldn’t know where to start with getting state/regional/employer sponsorship and don’t know anything about the locations outside of the obvious city regions. (We’ve lived in a couple of backwaters before, including here, so would want to avoid the same again. But would be open to anywhere that’s progressive and welcoming with a decent job market!). That’s basically where my head’s with that right now. Thoughts/tips welcome!

As I said earlier we're also planning to move back in a couple of years, kids are 6 and 8 now. I do worry about them so hearing what @Lifesd said is heartening. I do worry about the economy and cost of living though.

Yes there was quite a bit of resistance - mainly from the eldest and lots of tears - and I spent many night worrying we were doing the wrong thing. In the build up it wasn’t constant but towards the move date I had quite a bit of “when I’m 16 in moving back” etc which was difficult - however we had been here about 3 months and both children declared they were far happier and only wanted to go back to the uk on holiday.

I'm in an entirely different life stage, but just as confused about what my life would be like if I moved back to NZ. If I can even afford to. Just interested in what (objective) people have to say about life there now.

JAFA🤣

(Auckland, North Shore (East Coast Bays) to be precise).

With all the changes of place names to Maori I may spend my entire time being lost if I was to go back 🤣

My parents are in NZ and tell me it's challenging and it's not a good place to bring the children to. So we went to Australia and are doing really well here.

Having said that, I think you make your life where you land and some people will do well anywhere. There's lots of individual issues to weigh up. I personally wouldn't go to NZ for no other reason than that I can't get the medication my son is on there, and that's really important for us.