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Aussie and NZ Mumsnetters

Welcome to Aussie & NZ Mumsnetters - discuss all aspects of parenting life in Australia and New Zealand, including relocating, schools and local areas.

Separation - return or divorce ?

2 replies

VicNZ · 11/07/2024 15:46

I’m seeking support / guidance from others who may empathise with my situation/ be able to share own experiences.

My ex has fought for our marriage since we separated 12mo ago, and I’m feeling emotionally drained and confused. I realise everyone’s situation is different, however I have no family locally, and my friends’ knowledge and support through the separation, mean they are negatively biased despite their best intentions. My ex has no idea I’m feeling confused because I’ve kept things amicable but emotionally distant so no wires are crossed.

For context, my ex is a great dad. He has many good qualities and I truly believe he is a good person. We have both taken accountability for our behaviours and for the relationship breakdown (12mo ago). He is demonstrating a willingness to learn and grow - now recognising his difficult behaviours, and apologises after they happen. It’s not perfect but he’s clearly trying. Friends have warned me of a cycle they witness, but there seems to be real effort and change.

I’m scared I might be walking away from a decent thing and a person who deeply loves and accepts me. And from the family my son so desperately wants.

My biggest hesitation is the risk to my son’s wellbeing if things return to how they were. I never want to put my son through this again.

I’m at a cross roads, and feel paralysed.

OP posts:
SkaneTos · 11/07/2024 21:17

Hello!
That sounds like a difficult situation, and a dilemma.
I don't live in either Australia or New Zealand, so I can't give you any advice on that aspect, but I saw your post and I wanted to reply so perhaps more people will see it.
I hope someone here can give you some good advice, and I hope everything will work out for you and your family.

Dustyblue · 18/07/2024 18:32

Hi OP, I'm sorry I missed your post. Where are you located?

I'm in Vic and funnily enough, also going through a separation with my now ex partner. And I have a young son. We have things in common.

Pls PM me if you want a chat. Big hand hold from the south coast X

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