Starting school at 4

[Urgenthelplease]

I've got an April baby and am considering sending her to school at 4 (she'd turn 5 after 4 months) or waiting till she's 5. Anybody got advice? I started school early as did my siblings and we were all fine but I know lots of parents prefer to wait so their kids are the oldest in the year. Obviously it's dependent on the child but she's very confident with other kids, has great speech but is relatively slight (always been 15th percentile). She's been in nursery since 10 months.

@Urgenthelplease I've been thinking this over too.
We have a DS who is very end of March (due date was April). He is very self assured but still very much enjoys being babied. I will need to decide in July this year if he is starting school in 2025.
DD is late Feb and she coped fine but the difference is huge in ability across her class. There is another girl who is literally a whole year older (same birthday).
What it has meant is that she is never top of the class as she is up to a year behind in general life experience and development. We have taken the approach with her that everyone learns at different times, has different strengths etc. I'm aware this evens out to some extent as they get older. We are also prepared to spend extra time and money on any require tutoring or support needed.
Also I could not imagine her staying in the same preschool setting for another year.

For DS I think I will go through the motions of enrolling for school in July but leave the confirmation of departure for preschool as late as possible.

On speaking with the principal during our DD's enrollment she did explain that the curriculum is designed for this age group of 5yo's. The trend of holding back seems to be more for boys (emotional development) and is seen more in affluent areas (can afford extra year of daycare/preschool fees).

What are your concerns and general situation? What is your primary school like? What is the current childcare setting like?

Thanks for the response @spottygymbag

I'm biased because my family all started early. I was almost a year behind my peers and doesn't affect me at all. My dad was almost 2 years behind. Brother and sister started early but ended up repeating the final year at junior school before going to high school.

My daughter is nearly 3 but she's very confident, great speech and I can't imagine her still being in a pre school setting till 2027. My MIL is very against the idea of starting early though as she thinks if we do get her to repeat a year she'll be very upset, miss her friends etc.

My DH is more ambivalent but he had a terrible time at junior school as he had ADHD. I was very academic and yes as girls I don't think the same pressure to be the biggest for things like sport.

My preference is definitely to start her at 4 but I wasn't sure if that was even allowed.

The state or territory you're in matters for when you can start them. Two of my DC started FYOS before turning 5. My other DC we decided along with the school to start him a year later because of his disabilities. I do think the younger kids can come across a bit more imature. My DC are all doing well academically and the one we started later it was definitely the right choice for him. Im not sure about the others, I think they would have been ok either way. Across the border my DC March and April birthdays wouldn't have made them the youngest kids in their year and their wouldn't have been a decision to make.

Yes true about the different rules for different states and territories.
Our rule is everyone starts together at the beginning of the year, and, must have started by the time they turn 6, cut off is July.

At our induction for DD they had a list of things for us to focus on before starting- recognizing and writing their own name, knowing birthdate and address, managing clothing, opening and closing lunchboxes, refilling own water bottles, counting to 20, alphabet names and sounds, list of common words.

For us there is an added complication that if we move back to NZ we would like them to be in their correct peer groups and over there they would start the term they turn 5.

They just look so small when they start!

What's the rush? There will be plenty of other bright, capable children in preschool.

We're in QLD where the cutoff is turning 5 by June 30 to start Prep that year, so DD started at 4, birthday end of March. She's tiny as well. She's in year 3 (started today!) and she's doing very well. There are many in her class that have birthdays after her. When deciding, I discussed it with her kindy teachers who were very confident that she was ready to move forward with her peers.

My DS would have been a different story & definitely would not have been ready, but he's an October baby (he has ASD) & is among the oldest in his class.

If either were June babies I would have held them back. Mostly because I went to school under the old turn 5 (or 6?) by Dec 31 in your first year & my birthday was in late Nov. No difference academically, but I felt the difference, especially in high school where everyone in my year got licences, other privileges & milestones & I had to wait until last to get them.

Yeah the added complication is she has a sister whose birthday is May so we'll probably want to do the same for both. Honestly she can already do counting to 20 and with the alphabet was confident from 2. She's toilet trained day and night and has been without nappies at nursery since 20 months. There's no rush but also I don't want her bored for the sake of it. We're in NSW for those asking.

Here they go to school the day after their 4th birthday, first 3 days till midday.

Works fine.

He's in his 30's now.

Is she bored? Young children aren't usually bored. And preschools get all the same children as school so it isn't as if she'll be unusual or they'll be unable to cater to her. Play is the most valuable type of learning. Learning the alphabet and wotnot is just a brick in the wall.

I'm almost finished 3 x kids through schooling. What I have often found, is that the very young ones (like May-July) are very immature, and have difficulty with conflict resolution and there was often a lot of drama and silliness. Conversely, the much older ones (ie turned 6 in Jan/Feb), are more mature and would get irritated by the immaturity of their friends, even the middle of the pack age group. This has been evident the whole way through, K-12.
It depends on the kid of course.
April babies, especially girls, you could probably send with minimal issues. Make sure to ask her daycare teachers too. The question would be though... can she go early? Well, yes... but would she be having to constantly play catch up with academic/social skills? Or would it be better to wait, where that extra year of development may help her to excel in academic/social skills.

But she won't necessarily excel, she'll just be in the middle vs one of the youngest. I think it's weird to have this fascination with making sure your child has an advantage. Someone has to be the youngest in the school year and yes it can be a pain to have to wait longer to learn to drive or to go to a club but that's life no? Things aren't always 'fair'.

No, you're the one being weird.

Every parent thinks their kid is exceptional. Hardly any are. The best thing you could do would be to start her in a normal fashion. I cringe about parents like you.

Of course it's right to consider their needs, but from what you've said, your child is normal so why would you mess it up?

Not an advantage... just not always playing catch up.
And I'm not talking about how old she is, I'm talking in terms of development.