Cancelled move to Perth .. was this the right decision

[superstrongmom]

Hi everyone
I’m looking for advice on my current situation and to see if anyone has been in a similar position to myself with moving to Australia:

I lived in Australia 2011-2018, had 2 DC. I got my citizenship in 2015.
I left perth in 2018 because I struggled looking after my 2 young children with no family support. We moved to rural Ireland, built a lovely country home. Children are settled in a very quiet primary school and are thriving academically. They will go to the local grammar school which is 30 mins away and have an excellent secondary education which is free.
my hus is a project manager and part time farmer.

I’ve always longed for the life we had in perth after we built our home in Ireland as life in rural Ireland is very quiet , quite dull, everything is a long drive for kids activities. I never settled in the village as it’s not my original home town. I have no social groups, I work and go home to look after the DC. The moms at the school are in groups from where they went to the local school, a new person to the area isn’t welcomed with open arms as most of the moms have never left the village and have established long friendships already. So I struggle here socially. I believe if I was in Perth I’d have more going on and I’d enjoy myself.

so a month to ago my DH got a job offer to relocate back to Perth in a very very busy PM role, we accepted. We were packing to leave and I panicked so I changed my mind even though everyone else in the family was looking forward to it. I suppose I panicked because i could not get a rental in a good school, due to the current rental crisis. I was looking long term after renting and the cost of a mortgage in an ok suburb (Dianella ) was massive , so I panicked that I wouldn’t be able to live in Perth due to a 900 k mortgage and price school fees. We cannot afford a property/rent in areas where the public high schools are really good ie Shenton park , mount lawley, Churchlands. A fiend told me Dianella senior high has not got a good reputation and there was a recent article reporting violence /knife being very high amongst students, therefore this public school isn’t an option. So based on this affordability I panicked and cancelled the move.

now I am regretting it as I am just picturing myself living here in rural Ireland when I’m 59 and my children have moved away , I will be on my own In a place where I know nobody.

To add , financially we would be better off in Ireland as we won’t have a mortgage band the education is excellent and free. Is this enough of a reason to stay here.

Since I declined the move I’m having big regrets and have since looked at moving down to Kardinya where housing is cheaper and the public high school seems ok(Melville senior high).

I'm so confused and I don’t know what to do.

Any kind advice would be welcomed , but ultimately I know I have to decide what’s best myself 🥰

You left Perth years ago for a reason. What would be different now?

Can you not move to another part of Ireland- a city or large town that has more going on?

Thank you for your reply. That’s a good point that I could move somewhere in Ireland… I however feel it’s the sun and the lifestyle I’m longing for. Irish weather is not too inviting. I feel I left in 2018 because I was soo busy with a toddler and breast with no support and I am no longer in that position with my family complete , kids 8,6,3.

thnks again 😊

It sounds like you need to take a step back and evaluate your life now, your life before in Perth, and the life you want. Are you being idealistic?

It sounds like you didn’t think through the move to Perth. What is your DH saying about it?

@EVHead thank you for your reply.

maybe I am idealising that life there .. after all it is pretty hard to forget, particularly when I live in the middle of nowhere here and never socialise as the nearest town is 30 mins drive with no taxis or buses if one was to have a social drink.

I do feel that I thought the move through as I had lots and lots of time, the financial side of things in Perth (ie mortgage in a few years ) and no rental or school was huge.. also having such good education for the kids herein Ireland without going private was another issue.

I’m just so confused. I do think of my life here in Irel when I’m older and how lonely it will be with no social circle and the cold weather and will I have regrets then..

With the climate crisis, Australia will soon be unbearable.

@IsThePopeCatholic yes I did think about that.. apparently it’s going to be a very hot summer down under in 2024… very valid point

Heard a man on the radio yesterday reporting from Sydney where it was 43 degrees!

Late to the conversation, I know, but I read your post last week and didn’t have time to reply then.

One thing that stands out in your post is the lack of your husband’s input. What does he want to do? Surely this is a decision for the two of you to make together.

I also wonder if you’re looking for ‘something’ but don’t quite know what it is. You came out to Australia, enjoyed it but left. But home obviously hasn’t felt settled because now you want to leave again.

I’ve lived in Perth, as well as a few other places around Australia and the world. What I know from that is, wherever you go, you take yourself with you. So it’s possible that you’ll get back to Perth and once things settle, you’ll go back to having that sense of discontentment and something being missing.

In terms of places to live in good school zones, they do exist. There are small pockets of less expensive housing in the zones for Mount Lawley, Bob Hawke and Rossmoyne high schools, which are all excellent schools. Bob Hawke is only a few years old, so the facilities are all new. There’s also some more affordable housing in the Churchlands catchment, but I would avoid that school.

Coming from your other thread. Where are you looking at schools costing $160k if you are looking at Dianella? That’s boarding school prices.

Reiterating above poster re your husband. What is his opinion?

Re moving during high school years. Dc has had a few kids come in over the years. Most do very well (no difference from normal cohort that I can see) - one has just got into a very competitive course.