i was dough - nutted on the train on sunday by three fat jewllery makers

[FluffyMummy123]

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LOL! My mother keeps promising/threatening to make me some jewellery...

Lady 1 is bloody clumsy isn't she?

lol

my mum knows lots of , um, creativet ypes.

she let one of them do a tattoo on her arm.
its fecvkin AWFUL
she loves it.

Oh god HRT art must be watched.

Who was sleeping with John do you think?

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god they sound like my mum and her friends. 5 years to do a city and guilds in floral art. another year to do floristry. all in the name of something to do .

i have seen more pictures of flower arrangements than a million people should have to see in a lifetime.

See? I knew she was the real deal.

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sympathys edam.

they are boring as feck aren't they ?

have to humour her though or feel horribly guilty.

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Floral Art?

Wow. DH's aunties all WEAR floral art, huge great women they are, when they all stand in a row, they look like a particularly rowdy and garish municipal park border.

They are all in love with John. He will keep one of them back after class and ask after the trip to London. Then he will burst into tears.

This will be the start of a hot and steamy affair, conducted in the supplies cupboard. It will change her life.

Hello fish and 100x.

The only jewellery maker I ever met - who possessed a file and a mini-anvil and more beads than should be allowed - ran off with a turkish waiter on holiday.

Surely that's a better ending than getting tangled up in the supplies cupboard?

yep. picture that rushing about and enthusing with huge gtreat lumps of wood, giant stones and unfeasibly long stemmed gladioli.

telling you whether it is a modern or a continental arangement .

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my mum flirts with securit guards to get them to cart stuff about for her when they do public displays.

worse still the security guards like it . And all the "flower ladies" (that's what they call themselves) titter and get hot flushes about it.

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lol. floral displays sound like breakfasts.

Hello Quatt. No I'd rather be making heavy with John and his thwarted ambitions and the little pots of silver clasps than run off with a turkish waiter I think.

they look rude too. Loads of upright pointy bits(grin). Sadly after bloodu yeras of this I can actually discuss the stuff in a knowldgable manner

I love you Cod. Please use the old lady thing, just for me.

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This doesn't surprise me.

I must go. Tomorrow we are off on what is known in this house as the 'Weird Mumsnet Holiday.'

We are all very excited, but also very unpacked.

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Old lady hoover thing, of course. Perfect for the chlorinated paddling pool I imagine.