How to deal with loss of creativity

[MrsPennyapple]

Not sure if this is the right place, or if it should be in mental health... I may ramble a bit, but this is something that has been on my mind a lot recently, and I wondered if anyone else was feeling the same, or had any solutions.

My confidence is pretty low at the moment, and where I previously would immerse myself in crafts of some kind, just now it's not working. Over the years I've dabbled in lots of things, but currently my main crafts are knitting, sewing, and crochet. I also weave, spin, and make cards, although I haven't actually done any of these in about three years. I always thought of myself as creative, but recently, I just can't seem to produce anything that I'm happy with.

I don't even know where to start. I choose colour combinations and find myself looking at them thinking I don't know if they "go" or not (even with using a colour wheel). I've had a few projects go wrong right at the end - knitted garments that grow hugely during blocking, or a sewn garment where I realise just as I hold up the completed item that I've cut out one piece upside down so the nap on the fabric goes the wrong way... It has made me procrastinate about finishing items. If I never finish the item, I can never feel that gut-wrenching disappointment that I've just wasted hours or even weeks of work, not to mention a load of money.

I joined a card-making group on fb and it has inspired me to have another go, but I find I'm 50% inspired and 50% convinced my offerings would be rubbish. A lot of them are very fussy, with lots of bows, flowers etc, and that's really not my style, but actually, I don't even know what my style is any more.

I have two young DCs, one almost 3yo and one 9mo, so the only time I have to do any crafts is after they are in bed. I am pretty knackered by then, and the creative juices just don't flow at that time. I feel like the solution is maybe to give it up for a while, pack all the craft stuff away and just forget it. But "making" is the only thing that really makes me feel like me. Or it used to. I already feel like my identity is slowly slipping away, and packing away the craft stuff would be like accepting it.

Does anyone understand?

Yes I've been there!

My attitude to the stuff I make is linked to my mental health and general stress levels. If I'm going through a rough patch I'm very critical of what I make. I also loose concentration and I've made some really basic errors which I haven't picked up in in time and have ruined a project. Even if I haven't made any mistakes I can be hyper critical and doubt anything I do is any good.

Several things have helped. One is going back to basics. I'll pick a simple pattern and follow it to the letter. I usually cut my own patterns. When I went through a really bad patch I would make out a project plan and build checking time time into the plan. Also setting time aside to sew made a big difference. So on Saturday afternoon dh would be in charge of dds as "mummy is busy". Sometimes he takes them out to give me peace to work. I've also lowered my expectations in the past. I work full time and have 2 dds with asd. I'm not going to be able to recreate a full victorian mourning gown even if I want to! At least not yet! Doing some simple things has given me the confidence to go back to the more complex stuff. A couple of skirts turned out well last year which have me some confidence back so I drafted a coat pattern and completed that earlier in the year. I'm still scared to post it on completed projects though!!

I also keep sketch pads with ideas in. I started a tumblr blog to gather inspiration together and Pinterest as well. I'm still amazed I have followers! It's really helped to define my style and helps me in designing new garments, putting together fabric and trim combinations etc. I'll work on the inspiration side after dds are in bed. I'll sit and look through online museum collections etc instead of watching tv. I also read stuff related to sewing instead of fiction these days. I just fit in what I can when I can.

When it got really bad I stopped trying to create and concentrated in the inspiration side. The tumblr blog and Pinterest really helped me define what I wanted to do. Then I got to a stage where I desperately wanted to sew again.

I'm not sure if this ramble helps at all. Also I'm sure the stuff you have done is nowhere near as bad as you think. I've recently gone back to stuff I put away a couple of years ago as I thought it crap and wondered just what the hell I was so upset about!

Oh, and be nice to yourself. Your dc are still very little. It's hard when they are so small and your time and energy are all taken up with them. It will get better!

I've been struggling, too, OP. I'm a professional artist and have had such difficulty finding inspiration since DS (15 mnths) was born. Exhaustion and lack of personal time take their toll, don't they? Especially when it's so much easier to just MN in the evenings!

No advice to offer, but wanted to let you know you're not alone. And it's scary to feel as though we've lost touch with a key part of our identities.

The inspiration boards are something I should try...

You have 2 very young DCs. Most people in that situation find it almost impossible to do anyth

Sorry

Anything but get through the day.

Thank you Raven, your post is very helpful.

Your idea about going back to basics is a good one, I had thought about getting some card-making kits, to give me bit of practice, and hopefully some successes to boost my confidence.

I think a lot of it is down to the age that the dcs are. They are not really any more demanding than any other children their age. But after spending the whole day wiping noses and backsides, being climbed on, having things literally shoved in my face, repeatedly answering the same questions, refusing the same demands, battling over who is going to eat what.... By the time I get near my craft stuff, I just feel like I've got nothing left. So I just knit or crochet, or do other things that don't require much creativity. It's starting to feel a bit like manufacturing though, mechanically going through processes to achieve a particular end result.

I do browse pinterest etc to look for inspiration, but sometimes find I'm just adding more and more items to the list of things I'd love to make, but don't have time for. I also buy craft equipment and materials, as to a small degree it fulfills part of the need - but then it sits unused, and I feel guilty, and this just adds to the pressure I put on myself - I've spent £x so I need to make sure I use this or I will have wasted money. I know, I'm my own worst enemy!

And it's scary to feel as though we've lost touch with a key part of our identities.

Electric You have hit the nail on the head there. I feel like this is such a huge part of me, and I always used to use crafts to help me stay sane at the end of even the hardest day at work, it was always such a welcome release. I feel like, if I don't do the things that make me ME, then I'm not me any more. So who am I? That's probably a load of nonsense but hopefully you understand.

I know (to a lesser extent) what you mean. My DS is only 5 months and I previously had a little craft business- just stalls at fairs- doing cross stitch and making finger puppets and things. DS now has a proper bedtime now so I have some time in the evening and I'm just a bit "meh" about doing any crafting. I don't feel like I could sit and design anything as I used to do.
I'm with RavenRose on this-I'd order some catalogues or look on some websites for a project kit that you really want to do then follow the instructions to the letter. One of my favourite designers is Michael Powell so I'm going to order a cross stitch for our bedroom(we're currently in the nursery so looking forward to being back in our room).
I've also found it hard when people have, quite innocently, asked "have you managed a bit of sewing then?"- when I've said no they've sort of said-never mind, you've got more important things to think about now. I find it quite upsetting- it was my job but also a big part of my identity, my stress relief and, well sheer enjoyment- not just a silly hobby that can be put aside now I have a baby!
I'm not sure you should just pack it all away- it sounds like it 's important to you

I am similar. I'm taking medication for anxiety and depression and feel well-the best I have in years but something is stopping me crafting. I still have very unpredictable nights with dd2, who is nearly three, and I think exhaustion saps creativity. I did do a charity sale earlier in the year and that was a great push-knowing that people wokd be looking at my work and that there needed to be plenty of it to buy. I also have two sets of people i craft with and that gets me doing stuff too. But generally of an evening, I just want to have a cuppa with dh and stare at a blank wall or the telly!

I am a quilter and I am currently doing a sketch book based course to encourage creativity and then work through ideas to create a quilt design. I know that probably isn't your sort of thing but related to using a sketchbook to develop ideas, could you perhaps start an art journal?

You can pretty much do what you want - mess about with paint, pencils pens, stamps and just draw or write whatever comes into your mind for the day. You can mess about with colour combos which are in your journal and then when you come to crochet or knit or whatever, you might be confident in your choice. You can get down thoughts and ideas for future projects to try, when you have more time. You could even use it like a traditional journal and record your day, sticking in things you have accumulated along the way or photos you have taken. Because it is for you and your alone, there are no right and wrong answers. You don't have to worry if it is right or if it works. You don't even have to be able to draw. It doesn't matter so long as you are doing something. If you don't like what you have done, move on to the next page and do something else. You might even find that if you don't like something and go back to it a little while later it is better than you thought. Even if it isn't it still has value in refining what you do and don't like and you will have achieved something by just getting the book out and putting pen to paper. Note ideas of things that interest you and you can go back to them and develop them when you ready and mood takes you.

I read a while a go that creativity is a skill you have to work at so if you do something, anything, every day eventually you will get better and get your mojo back.

Have a look at Pinterest for ideas to get you started or google art journal blogs.

The other thing to try is perhaps taking photos. Especially with digital cameras you can mess around and if you don't like it, you just delete, plus it is quick so you can take a moment at any point during the day. You could edit them in the evenings and use them to perhaps incorporate them into cards or a scrapbook.

On the other hand, I did very little when my two were small. I did a 10 quilting course when DS1 was 2.5 and then did nothing else until DS2 was about 5 which was 5.5 yrs later. Don't expect too much of yourself is my advice. Creativity needs head space and you get precious little of that when children are small. It will come back though. it is part of who you are so at some point you will back to 'normal' again - you won't be able to help yourself.

I know exactly what you mean about collecting stuff but not using it!
I also knit because its easier to pick up and put down. But currently I am doing some doodling (zentangles) ten minutes here and there. I have small notebook and a gel pen. Thats all. Nothing to get out or clear up. When I have got back into some sort of routine and am feeling more.confident again I will move up a notch and start art journalling/sketching.again

I don't force myself. I am not a professional artist so it is up to me when I do any art. I once had 5 years art block due to depression but during that time I was reading, researching, talking to people, experiencing life, and looking at things really hard. I was always drawing in my head so when I started again all these things made my work better.

I have recently come out of a year long art block by changing media and concentrating on something I love - drawing faces. The sketch only has to take an hour or two.

I don't worry about art block any more because I know it will always end.

You are not completely blocked thank goodness and are doing quite a bit, it seems to me, considering your busy life. One thing that struck me is that you judge yourself by your final result and there is no mention of the pleasure of the process. I am never happy with my finished work but I thoroughly enjoy the process, I learn a lot and I make plans about what I am going to concentrate on next time.

Going back to the basics with a fresh look will help you learn more because you will understand it so much better this time round but it may be that some of the things you are doing aren't challenging you enough either so your attention is wandering.

If you want to give the crafts practice a break then try feeding your brain with inspiration, especially from outside the crafts you are used to. Designers get their style and ideas from everywhere not just fellow designers. Pinterest is good for this sort of thing to, especially if you search for something random like 'peacocks' or 'cogs'.

Good luck anyway.

Argh I posted before I was ready somehow!

You're probably better at this game than you think you are. Remember to give yourself a massive pat on your back at the 80% that went right and where you showed real skill rather than focussing on the 20% that went wrong.

I bet most of the 'mistakes' and things that you think haven't gone well, go unnoticed by other people. Try and see it from their eyes and not your own because, if you are anything like me, you are probably too focussed on the detail to see that that the overall effect is perfectly fine, if not great!

BBB I love the idea of a sketch book / art journal - in fact, I've always liked the idea of keeping a journal, but have never managed it for more than a week! It does sound a great idea though, and it might help to open my eyes to more inspiration when I'm out and about.

Starfish I've heard of Zentangles but have no idea what they are, can you enlighten me? :)

Sisterofmercy As a general rule, I'm more likely to choose a project because I'd like to make it, rather than because I want the finished item, and I love mastering a new knitting technique, or finally cracking something that has stumped me. Unfortunately my recent messes have been on items I was making for my family. Not the end of the world, but frustrating to have wasted so much time when I have so little of it. Although I definitely learn from them - you can be sure I'll remember that corduroy has a nap next time! You make an interesting point about challenging myself. I tend to procrastinate and wuss out, rather than attempt scary things.

As all of this has been going round my head, it occurred to me that maybe a change of direction would help, but it would have to be something I could do without spending any money. I thought about maybe doing some drawing, I'd love to be able to draw better, and even I can afford a couple of pencils :)

I have been crafting and doing some form of art since I was small and found when the kids were small that I just had to do small bits rather than focus on anything big due to not just lack of time but lack of motivation and I'll be honest, due to the fact that I "lost" me - I was mummy and it took time for me to learn to switch between the different roles of my life. As they got older, I found my mojo came back and I did more, though still kept with small projects. Since then, my health declined and I now have long periods of fatigue or pain where I just struggle to focus on anything or I manage to do something but then it can be days or even weeks before I can get back to my art.

Like BBBertha, I did a creative sketchbooks course which has got me into "playing" in my sketchbook - drawings of a leaf for example leads to designing patterns or playing with techniques in my sketchbook which may not lead anywhere or may lead to a piece of art. I try and sketch each day, even if just 5mins while I have a cuppa. I also art journal which is another way to play with paints, papers etc along with my sketchbook ideas and I don't have to show anyone what I do, it's for me (i use it alongside my diary so I see it everyday).

I also use Pinterest to save inspiration ideas - for example, I'm into sketching people atm - not faces but outlines of body shape, clothes shapes, hair etc.. I use Pinterest to save interesting photos and then I can sketch these when I have time. I also use bloglovin to save interesting blogs (it's a site that tells you when new posts are made so I don't have to sit and hunt through a ton of blogs each day so it saves time).

I think what I'm trying to say is don't focus on big projects but look at keeping your mind active and full of ideas. A sketchbook will hold the ideas till you have time to actually take them further, you don't need to be able to "draw" just make marks, play with colour, keep cuttings - whatever works for you!

I started my sketch book this morning. I drew a picture of DS's dummy, and I thought that if I try drawing the same thing lots of times, I'll be able to see when there is improvement. I also did a freehand curly doodle in the corner, just as practice for pen control, smooth curves, etc.

I just googled zentangle, and at first I thought seriously? That's just doodling, I can't believe someone has had the temerity to try and put a brand name on doodling, and make money from it! But I watched a couple of youtube clips and I can see how some of the patterns are put together, so I can see now how the books etc could be useful. I have just been messing about with a black pen and a scrap of paper and I'm quite enjoying it, I can see me doing more.

It's interesting how many of us experience this creative block when our DCs are very young. It sounds like it's a common thing, and that as time goes on it will get better.

Drawing the same thing lots of times over a period of time was one thing one of our tutors on an art foundation course insisted we do. It's amazing to look back and see how you improve over time!

Also don't feel guilty about what you have spent on supplies. It may not be used now but it will be used one day. All crafters need to have a stash of supplies for when inspiration strikes!

Actually this has inspired me to get off my bum and I'm sitting surrounded by unfinished projects and trying to sort through them!

It does get easier as they get older - honest

I'm glad you are sounding more positive and engaged! I am sure you will get through this and will have learnt some new skills too.

I'm not really feeling any more creative, but I am relieved that others have been in this position and come out the other side.

I have now done three drawings of DS's dummy, and the last one was an abomination! But I have been reading some learn-to-draw tips and finding some drawing exercises to help me improve. Now I just need to find time to do it... :)

If you are not feeling creative, then go technical. Find something you cannot do or something you struggle with and go to a class or YouTube and watch it till you get it. Be led by the nose so you do not have to think. You will then find that you start to think "ooh, I could try this in lime, purple and orange, it will make everyone's eyeballs bleed - result!"

Thanks Lattelady. I'm trying to improve my drawing skills at the moment, and am currently making a colour chart with coloured pencils, as I have a nice set that I have hardly used, so I don't really know what colour they come out. So the chart is just a square of each colour, shaded light to dark. I'm finding it quite enjoyable making it, it's quite relaxing just shading the squares.

I've also been having a look at Zentangle, and whilst I haven't been doing it "properly" I have been doodling and messing about with shapes and patterns.

I'm still knitting too (these projects aren't going to finish themselves, apparently), and sewing. I think the real problem is just not enough time. I know I'm not alone with that.