cutting and sticking has left me a worn out shell of a woman

[Cappucino]

and all I have to show for it is a glue-soaked bit of ripped off cardboard box with four foam hearts clinging precariously to the edges

every glitter star on the kitchen floor is nothing but a mocking reminder of the hollow dreams I had of what parenthood would be like

my soul is tired

[passes corkscrew to Cappucino]

And I bet your children are frolicking happily in your misery, too.

Am impressed that you tried, though. I find taking the Inferiorettes to the local museum for Art and Craft sessions on the odd Saturday afternoon is as cuttingandstickingy as I can manage.

Glitter is an evil invention.
Gluing and sticking are best left to nursery/school.
Smart/ Smarteenies/ Blue Peter be dammned for all eternity.

Am I glad to be number-crunching a poxy spreadsheet while I delegate this sort of horror to permanently cheery playworkers...

it wouldn't be so bad if I actually had something pretty to look at

some recognisable glittery item

not this bit of box

My children are doing a 'cookery day' with DD2's splendid childminder. I have been out for an uncharacteristic weekday lunch (admittedly after finishing a rather stressful editing stint) and am supposedly researching an article while beaming through the effects of an uncharacteristic weekday glass of wine.

Working parenthood is very underestimated.

I actually am supposed to be working. My mother is over giving them dinner

but it is too much after what I have had to go through

Can I suggest that if she's there, well, you don't need to be...and you sneak out for a civilised piece of cake in a caff, preferably a posh one not infested with children to remind you of sadder times?

then the game would be up

it would be obvious I wasn't making a grant application

Ooo, what are you applying for?

funding for schools performing arts

allegedly

I reckon Arty Stuff counts as practical research. Fieldwork, yet. So you can take the application with you. In your bag. Along with a frivolous magazine. You could take the box too, as a practical manifestation of under-eights' artwork which is a demonstration of the creative continuum which your application seeks to support and extend in a range of media.

ooh you're good

you've done this before

Not applications (although my partner is one of the people who gets applications, not in arts stuff though) but you should see the report I edited this morning...no wonder I needed that glass of wine.

are you freelance then?

This seems like a good thread to hijack to say that nearly all of Monday was spent eliciting (coercing?) home-made collagery 80th birthday cards (for my dad, tomorrow) out of dd and ds and that was way harder (and I am prouder of) than anything I get done at work.

I think if you're going to do them for an occasion you're safer making them yourself and then pretending the children did it

this box creation is supposed to be a halo for an older cousin, ffs

christ knows what she'll think when she sees it

Oh, and in answer to your question, Cappucino, yes. But not Funding Stuff. Writing Stuff. Or rewriting Other People's Stuff.

that sounds good. I used to love editing when I was in newspapers. I liked the power