Another hand needs holding please

[Debs3013]

Hi Everyone

I'm new here, been lurking around on the pregnancy forum since finding out I was expecting my first child and I must say what a lovely,helpful,sympathetic and joyful bunch you all are.

I really feel like I need some help, maybe hear other peoples experiences (really hope you don't mind me lurching up here as soon as I have a problem!)

Had the Nuchal scan and blood test last week and the midwife came round with the results on Thursday - they were very bad 1:2. Due to my age (38) I knew that I would probably get high risk results (apparently I start at 1:167) but this knocked me for six. Basically had an appointment at the hospital with the Specialist Midwife Friday morning who booked me for a CVS yesterday morning.

To cut a long story short, they can't do the CVS and I have to wait until next week for the Amnio.

I'm going out of my mind everyone (even the Consultant!) keeps telling me to stay positive and remember there's a 50% chance that everything is okay but the worst scenario keeps playing over and over in my mind. I've come back to work to try and stay sane but it's not working.

This is my first (and probably last) pregnancy and I know it's a pathetic thing to say but it all seems so incredibly unfair.

Any words of wisdom would be gratefully received.

Dear Deb - I'm sorry that you find yourself here, and it is a truly awful situation to be in, to have been looking forward to the future then plunged into uncertainty and doubt.

You might want to ring the charity ARC (Antenatal Results and Choices) as they are very supportive and can also point you in the direction of any information you may feel would help you make a decision, if one is required.

Get all the support you can from here and from anyone who is understanding in your RL. Last year aged 39 I lost my baby at 15wks (Patau's syndrome). I am now 34wks pregnant, the first months were nervewracking but on both occasions I was lucky to get a lot of support from the fetal medicine centre at our hospital. You don't have to rush to make any decision, take all the time you need.

I really hope you find out you are the 1 in 2 with no problems.

Hi Debs3013 - I'm so terribly sorry you are having an awful time - you have a right to feel upset and worried. I'm 39 and had relatively poor results last year (1:35) and had 2 most horrendous weeks waiting for the CVS results (which thankfully were clear). This was my first (and probably only pregnancy) so I too was convinced this was my one and only chance of having a baby.

One thing that helped was a lovely midwife who said she'd just been dealing with a 22 year old who'd had risk results of 1:2500 - but when the baby was born she was the 1! As my midwife said, these blood tests etc aren't always that accurate and somebody always had to be the one - whether it's 1:2 or 1:22000. Will keep my fingers crossed for you. x

Hello Debs

I'm so sorry you find yourself in this upsetting and stressful situation. But this is a good place to come and ride out the emotion - many, many of us have been in your shoes and will be able to hold your hand over the next few days/weeks/months.

Numpty has already signposted ARC and she's right, they are brilliant. As she says, get as wide a support network as you think appropriate - ARC, here and RL. Whatever and whoever to help you through. On the plus side, I recall a couple of women posting here who were given 1:2 risk and then came through with good amnio results. If you do a search, I'm sure you'll find them.

One question, if you don't mind? Was the medics unwillingness to do CVS in favour of amnio a positioning thing, or is it more appropriate for your dates to wait for amnio? I only ask as I was once sent away from a booked CVS because of placental position. I was supposed to return in a fortnight for an amnio but instead I booked in for a CVS at the Fetal Medicine Centre in Harley Street, who again come with a strong recommendation. They seem to have a record of managing CVS's (they are world experts) where other clinics favour postponing. Worth a look, if this is your situation?

Anyway - a welcome from me and the best of luck. Keep in touch.

Thank you so much for all your kind thoughts. Numptymum I'm so sorry to hear your experience but congratulations for now, great to hear that you're doing well.

Echops, this is what I try to keep in forefront of my mind, it doesn't matter what odds you get, someone has to be the one. I keep telling myself that before we had tests etc. everyone had a 50/50 chance of a birth with no problems or experiencing difficulties - part of me wishes I hadn't had the scans now and had just played whatever cards I got dealt at the time but hindsight's a great thing!

Shangrila - don't mind you asking at all. CVS wasn't technically possible as my placenta is apparently lying right round the back. Must admit my biology knowledge is not that good! Consultant had me drink half a gallon of water as he said sometimes the bladder can tilt the womb the right way but of course, sods law, mine tilted off the other way! I did get the impression he wasn't overly keen on the CVS procedure but he said he was happy to go with whatever I wanted. So now I just have to wait until Weds morning - I'm hoping they are still fast tracking the results, I didn't think to ask at the time.

Hello Debs, good luck from me, too. I haven't had CVS or amnio but I have had babies with fatal conditions so I do understand how horrible the waiting feels. Is the 1 in 2 for DS only or for any chromosomal abnormality?

Is the amnio next Wednesday? good luck with the waiting and like the others I hope you are the lucky 50%.

Hi Cant - thanks for your good wishes and I am so sorry to hear of the problems you've experienced in the past. Sounds silly but I really had no idea what a minefield and emotional rollercoaster this whole pregnancy lark really is! The good old 'soft focus' books and magazines never really touch on all the 'what if's'

To be totally honest I have no idea if the 1:2 is just for Downs - I'm guessing it is. I know they'll check for Edwards and Patau's with the amnio.

Yes amnio is next Weds at 10.30 - thankfully work are being really good and have just told me to take the rest of the week off and then I'm into 2 weeks leave anyway, so that's one less thing to think about.

I keep veering from panicking and crying and then feeling very calm - hormones eh? Aren't they great!

Hi Debs

I think pregnancy can be simple - mine was with DD1, to be honest, just a bit of nausea at the start, and an emergency section at the end. But it so often isn't and we have been unlucky in encountering the stressful side.

Though 1 in 2 sounds bad, it still means there's an equal chance of all being okay. I have my fingers firmly crossed for you.