please help.

[confusedandalone]

hi all, i am happily married and we have 3 children 7, 2 and 4 months. after birth of dc3 i went to docs about contraception and he advised me to wait b4 going on pill until periods returned. (this took 9 weeks) in meantime we have only had sex about 3 times all of which we have been careful. however, period was late and about a week ago i took a test which was positive. i am beside myself with worry as we did want to have a forth child but not for another 3 or more years! husband is very supportive but due to me still having to work and raise 3 very young children i cant see that i can go through with this pregnancy although it breaks my heart to even think about the alternative. so confused

Hi there - so sorry you are having to go through such a difficult time. No one wants to have to make that sort of decision. Do you have an idea how many weeks you are? Perhaps you could think about it for a week or two before you decide one way or the other. Does your husband want to go ahead with the pregnancy or is he just happy to go along with whatever you decide?
Katie xxx

hi, i am 5 weeks. husband knows we wouldnt could cope with another one. we barely have enough time at the moment. i am just so angry that i am in this situation thro no fault of my own. we know we have to have a termination, we have no choice just so confused about it all xxx

yes it sucks big time. It sounds like you have come to a decision but i know it won't be easy. Have you seen your doctor? it may be best to do that sooner rather than later as i'm sure it will be less traumatic terminating earlier on. All the best xx

thanks katiecubs. i am going to hospital on monday morning for a talk with them. i have been looking into how i would be done thinking the medical pill would be they way foward but there seems to be some real horror stories about it.
struggling with guilt everytime i look at one of my children. i dont want to be in thi awful situation.xxxx

Have no real words of wisdom but just wanted to offer some support as I have an inkling of how you are feeling.

I have also had some experience of close friends and family having terminations. A friend of mine terminated (she has 2 daughters) using the medical pill with complications and bleeding ending in a d&c and my sister(she has no children) used the medical pill 2 years ago and although she had no major bleeding she had horrendous nausea and diarrhoea needing 24hr care for a few days. It certainly isn't an easier option but you may have to wait a few weeks before you can do the surgical route. It may take that amount of time to get it all arranged especially if you are going the nhs route.

All the best with whatever you decide.

thanks bn3. i had appointment at hospital today and they discovered i am actually 9 weeks plus. because of this and seeing how distressed i was they have offered me the surgical next week. doctor said that he didnt think emtionally i could cope with medical pill as i would see everything. he was quite ok with me and the nurses were ab. feeling alot more positive about this now. we know we are making the right choice but it doesnt make it any easier. when u are already a parent you know what you are getting rid of, you know this little baby will look like your other kids, you getting rid of something that was made out of love. it just all seems so wrong xxxxxxxxx

Thinking of you - hope you get through it all ok xxx

I have three children and had a surgical abortion two months ago, at nine weeks pregnant. It was an incredibly hard thing to have to decide to do, but I know it was the right thing for us. The actual procedure was okay and the staff at the hospital were all very kind and made it as easy as possible. Be prepared to feel tired and emotional for a while afterwards. It's a big thing to get over. I feel sad that I had to go through with it, but I don't feel any regret. Let me know if you'd like any information about the actual procedure.