12 week scan monday and goin alone again 💔

[TiredButTryin5x]

just needed to get it out 😢 got my scan on monday n looks like i’ll be goin on my own again. baby’s dad said he “couldn’t get the time off” but he had time off last week to see his mates so just feel stupid for even hopin he’d come 😞

feel like i’m doin this whole pregnancy in my own head like it don’t feel real yet n now the scan is comin up fast n im just scared tbh. scared something will be wrong or they’ll say it’s not viable or somethin i dunno. not even got a bump yet either

soz for ramblin i know ppl go through worse but just feel so low tonight. dunno if i even wanna tell people im pregnant still. feel like a joke

if anyone’s gone to scans alone how did u get through it? xx

Is he your partner or just the dad? It does sound like he isn't planning on being too involved - however 12 weeks doesn't feel "real" to some men and there's a chance he'll step up when the baby's born. Possibly a slim one.
Have you spoken him about what it would mean to have him at the scan? He will be entitled to a certain amount of time off for antenatal stuff, the 12 and 20 week scans are the ones most dads would choose.

thanks yeah i hear what ur sayin 💛 he says he’s my bf but it don’t really feel like it half the time if im honest. he don’t live with me or help with the boys or even ask how im feelin much lately. just says “i do care” but then don’t back it up. feels like im beggin him to be involved 😞

i did try explainin how important the scan felt n he just kinda brushed it off like “well i’ll come to the next one” but that’s what he said last time too 🙄

ur prob right tho it prob don’t feel real to him yet cos it barely feels real to me either tbh. just hurts more cos i’ve done scans on my own before n i didn’t wanna do it again this time. but i will. just gotta get through it i guess xx

Honestly mate he's not there for the long term, is he?
I know it's easier said that done, but you should move on and one day you'll find someone who wants to commit 100%

I think this will be the model for your whole pregnancy. You will likely go through this yourself without him bothering much.

If the guy is not interested in seeing the scan then he’s not that interested full stop.

Is he the father of your other kids? maybe he feels like it’s just a daft scam and he’s seen it all before. But how someone could be like that is beyond me.

Are you prepared to go this alone as it’s highly likely he will not be there for you. Are you sure you want to proceed? It’s early days. You have kids already. It will be a lot do do alone. I’d consider my options quickly if it were me.

Are you saying you have multiple children with this prince among men and he is a useless father to all of them?

He doesn’t sound like father material. He’s showed you who he is. You need to make better choices, you can only control your own choices not his.

I am assuming your boyfriend isn't the biological Dad to your children, only the unborn baby? Any normal decent man, who loved his partner and is genuinely excited about being a Dad, would be there for important scans. The fact he 'can't get time off work', but managed to the previous week to meet with his friends, suggests he's simply not bothered. How long have you been dating this man? How old is your boyfriend? Is this his first child or does he have children with a previous partner? You don't live together, so how is it going to work once the baby is born???!! I wouldn't hold out much hope, that you're going to be receiving any support from your boyfriend now or once the baby is born.

hi n thanks to everyone who replied. some of them were hard to read but i get why ur sayin it.

yeah he’s only the dad to this baby, not my boys. we’ve been together a year n a bit, he seemed more decent back then but he’s changed a lot since i got pregnant. i don’t think he really wanted it deep down but he didn’t say that til it was too late n by then i was already 7 weeks gone. i’m not the kind of person who can just end it like that 😢

he is younger than me (28) no other kids far as i know. he don’t live here n doesn’t really do anythin for us tbh, just comes round when he feels like it. i’ve been makin excuses for him for weeks now but it’s gettin harder. i wanted this baby to feel different – like not do it all alone again – but looks like i will anyway.

i’m keepin the baby. i already feel too far in n i wouldn’t forgive myself if i didn’t. but i need to stop pretendin he’s gonna step up when he’s showed me over n over he won’t. just hurts. tryin to focus on the scan now n hopin everythin looks ok 💔 xx