I feel like I'm grieving for a baby I havent lost yet

[Ellynclare]

I'm posting this because I'm finding it hard to admit my feelings to those around me. Yesterday we had our 12 weeks scan, they dated me at 13 weeks but informed us babies nt levels were 3.9 and that there is a exomphalos present. We were ushered into a back room to process what we had been told, but the truth is I still haven't processed it.

We are seeing a featal specialist in 5 days time, my blood screening tests are not yet back and they mentioned the possibility of a cvs test at that appointment.

The saddest part is, I can't bring myself to look at the scan picture they gave me for fear of growing attached to a baby I fear may already be lost. I feel so guilty saying this as so many women don't even get to this stage, but from everything we've been told so far I'm expecting the absolute worst.

I dont even know what response I'm expecting on here. My heart is breaking

I absolutely know how you feel as I've been through similar. It is so hard to process. No advice other than look after yourself, try to remain positive. I had cvs done twice (1st time failed) and nothing sinister came back and baby girl was born healthy. Sending you hugs x

Sorry you're going through this.

We had a high NT at the 12 week scan with our last baby. CVS came back all clear but I think I'd already detached. I kept saying "if the baby is born" instead of "when the baby is born".
People told me to stop being silly and negative but I think it helped actually as when no heartbeat was found at 20 weeks, it wasn't a huge shock to me. I was devastated but not surprised.

Best of luck to you and fingers crossed for a good outcome.

How are you OP?