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Original poster

Our Edwards' Story

100 replies

Missingmydarling · 03/05/2022 21:47

I’ve name changed for this so it isn’t linked to my other posts.

I’m writing her about my Edward’s diagnosis and termination in the hopes it might help someone in some way. I’ve broken it down into different sections as different bits may be useful to different people at different stages. If anyone wants to ask me any questions I’m happy to answer and I’m sending anyone in a similar situation so much love.

OP posts:
Original poster
Missingmydarling · 22/06/2022 22:59

Best of luck with ttc. I keep thinking i should ne x number of months by now. Yes we have said goodbye. We didn't want a service but knew what time he was being cremated so did something at home. I found a Guess how much I love you animation on YouTube and we watched that as part of it. My plan was to scatter his ashes almost straight away but I realised if we lost anymore we should scatter them together so we're waiting, which is one of the saddest thoughts I've ever had. I'm sure the funeral will be hard so sending lots of love and strength

OP posts:
Original poster
Missingmydarling · 10/04/2023 20:26

UPDATE

I’ve been dreaming of writing this update for a long time.

Good news! Last week we brought home a beautiful baby boy.

The pregnancy was really smooth. My lack of morning sickness worried me about Edwards’ syndrome reoccurring (but I was going to worry whatever). We had the combined test which gave odds of 1 in 100,000 so we didn’t have any further testing. Obviously I still worried all the way through the pregnancy…about absolutely everything.

But he’s here and he’s healthy and well.

I still cry about the little one I lost almost every day. And this new baby only reminds me of him more. I keep almost calling him the name of the baby I lost. I used to think that when people had a ‘rainbow’ baby all their pain went away. I now know this isn’t true. The loss and new joy are just two very separate things. But I am so glad my little boy is here and I can stop worrying quite so much.

I hope those of you on this board find some peace and joy and hope in whatever way you can.

OP posts:
MarmiteCoriander · 10/04/2023 20:31

That is wonderful news OP. I remember your post. Thank you for sharing and congrats xxx

Cantthinkofadifferentname · 10/04/2023 20:42

Never read your original posts, many congratulations on your third child. You wrote very movingly about your second born, I may have something in my eye xx

Webbing · 10/04/2023 20:44

Great news! Congratulations to you and your family. You were very generous sharing your story. My husbands niece was born with Edwards syndrome and lived for a few short weeks. We all met and cuddled her and will never forget her. The next new baby to join the extended family was so special. Enjoy every minute xx

Pattygonia · 10/04/2023 20:54

💐💐💐for you and all of your beautiful children xxx

Nimbostratus100 · 10/04/2023 20:54

lovely news, congratulations xx

backinthefog · 10/04/2023 22:53

That was so brave of you to write the original post - I've just read it for the first time having gone through a TFMR 2 days ago. I felt every part of what your wrote.

It's so lovely to read your update.

wizzler · 11/04/2023 09:33

Congratulations op

NameChangeFor2023 · 11/04/2023 14:42

Just read your initial story and my heart broke for you, I couldn't even imagine going through it.

I almost cried at your update. Congratulations FlowersFlowers best of luck to your little family

Pinkplasticbathcup · 11/04/2023 14:54

Just read the whole thread. What an incredibly sad but now uplifting story. Huge congratulations on the birth of your little boy xx

gogohmm · 11/04/2023 14:54

Congratulations @Missingmydarling so nice to read good news.

Wetnwindy · 11/04/2023 15:03

Congratulations…feeling teary 💐

HowlingDogs · 11/04/2023 15:18

So nice to read a positive update, congratulations. I'm sure your earlier posts have helped others. Flowers

UpUpUpU · 11/04/2023 15:44

❤

Ihaveated · 11/04/2023 22:04

I wasn't on mumsnet when you posted about your second child but I read this and your update today.

As a midwife I wanted to say thank you for sharing such an honest account. On a professional note I believe this insight will help me care for families better in the future.

As a mum I wanted to say that I am so sorry that your baby died and that I think you are quite simply amazing parents for making such a difficult decision to experience the hurt and pain so that he didn't have to. All he ever knew was the warmth of your love.

Many congratulations on the birth of your third child 💙

RandomMess · 11/04/2023 23:08

Congratulations on your youngest Flowers

Thank you for writing so eloquently about your experiences of your middle child, so sorry you had to go through so much heartache.

Justholdingmybreath · 03/05/2023 02:10

@missingmydarling, congratulations to you,
That's the most wonderful news, I had no idea but am so happy for you after all you went through.
I came back to your post as it was the last post I read, it was so helpful to me last year, I can't tell you.
It was so valuable to me at my lowest and I knew it was around now.
I didn't expect it to be today, I'm sorry if this is too much of a reminder and I'm so sorry for your loss on the first anniversary but so glad that you now have such joy to ease your sadness.
I'm wallowing a little bit in my grief now it's May, April was ok as everything was ok in April but May is the month that everything turned bleak.
Spring has somehow worsened the passing of time, the purple rhododendrons on the road to the hospital are in bloom, just as they were last year, and Alfie's rose is growing beautifully outside my window.
I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you and will be forever grateful for your first hand account of what was to come for me the following month.
I wish you and your family every happiness, I'm blessed to already be mummy to two wonderful girls as that in itself makes everything better. Take care of yourselves and best wishes for the future. Xx

coxesorangepippin · 03/05/2023 02:20

Congratulations op xxx

Original poster
Missingmydarling · 09/05/2023 16:02

Thank you everyone for your kind words. It means so much honestly. xxxx Sorry for the delay in replying.

@Ihaveated wow that's so lovely of you to say. Thank you

@Justholdingmybreath Hello. I remember reading about Alfie last year. I know what you mean about those reminders. For me, it's daffodils. They were out all the way through our many tests and that terrible period of uncertainty. When we came home from the termination I noticed they'd started to go over, like something from a film. It means so much to me that I might have helped you in some small way. I'm sending so much love to you.

@backinthefog A month on for you - I hope you are as ok as can be expected. I have been thinking about you.

OP posts:
thaegumathteth · 09/05/2023 16:19

I've only just come across your posts OP but I'm sorry for your loss of your boy last year but it's lovely to hear about your newborn now. Lots of love.

backinthefog · 09/05/2023 21:55

@Missingmydarling thank you for thinking of me. We're getting through each day and counselling is helping. Life has changed forever though for sure.

Original poster
Missingmydarling · 09/05/2023 23:51

@backinthefog well done for getting support. I hope you manage to find some joy amongst the sadness, which can seem never-ending xxxxx

OP posts:
DeflatedAgain · 18/05/2023 18:19

Cried my eyes out reading this.

I've had two losses and it really hit home.

Thinking of you all in such a hard time. I hope you're feeling a little better today, OP. Thankyou for sharing.

💐 Xx

DeflatedAgain · 18/05/2023 18:21

I have just seen the date posted, almost a year.

Hope you and family are okay. X