Anyone had a TFMR and then a successful baby aged 38

1990s · 2022-04-07T15:19:49+00:00

As the title really. Unfortunately I’ve had bad news on the CVS and now am having a TFMR. I’m scared it’ll never happen for me again at my age. Any stories gratefully received.

Madrenetterhere · 07/04/2022 16:25

I'm sorry to hear this sending you love and hugs. I haven't personally been in this position but know of women who have. X

Livingmagicallyagain · 07/04/2022 16:45

I am so sorry you're going through this. How many weeks are you? We lost our baby at 17 weeks to a genetic issue. I was 40. I fell pregnant naturally (despite AM H 1.1) 10 weeks later while waiting for my first postpartum period. DC now a healthy 1 year old.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 07/04/2022 18:38

I'm so sorry for your loss, that must be really hard. A friend of mind had a TFMR against approx 23 weeks after bad news at the 20 week scan. She now has an almost 2 year and another baby due shortly. She turned 40 last week.

Best of luck, I hope it happens for you soon

Original poster

1990s · 07/04/2022 18:48

@Livingmagicallyagain

I am so sorry you're going through this. How many weeks are you? We lost our baby at 17 weeks to a genetic issue. I was 40. I fell pregnant naturally (despite AM H 1.1) 10 weeks later while waiting for my first postpartum period. DC now a healthy 1 year old.

That’s so lovely to hear, thank you. I am 14 weeks. Took nearly a year to conceive this one so just felt a bit like my last chance.

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Original poster

1990s · 07/04/2022 18:48

@TheLovleyChebbyMcGee

I'm so sorry for your loss, that must be really hard. A friend of mind had a TFMR against approx 23 weeks after bad news at the 20 week scan. She now has an almost 2 year and another baby due shortly. She turned 40 last week.

Best of luck, I hope it happens for you soon

Thank you for sharing that, it gives me hope and I really need some!

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Original poster

1990s · 07/04/2022 18:49

I’ve very much accepted the situation with my current pregnancy, but now feel overwhelmingly scared it will never happen again.

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Livingmagicallyagain · 08/04/2022 06:24

I found it helpful to follow the plan from It Starts with the Egg, while healing slowly from our loss.

Hugs to you, it's not an easy time.

Original poster

1990s · 08/04/2022 08:18

Thank you @livingmagicallyagain, I do have that book, had put it in a cupboard as I thought I wouldn’t need it I’ll get it out again.

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SedentaryCat · 08/04/2022 08:45

So sorry to hear your news.

I had a TFMR at 18 weeks. Fell pregnant again within 6 months and had my son when I was 38 years old. (The baby I lost took almost a year to conceive.)

I hope everything goes as well as it can...be gentle on yourself.

QuinnofHearts · 14/01/2023 13:32

Had a TFMR at 36, fell pregnant again 9 months. Took me 2 tries to conceive. Good luck!

Original poster

1990s · 14/01/2023 22:14

Well I’m almost a year on from TFMR and just been told there is scarring from it stopping egg attaching (rare apparently, I get all the rare things) and my AMH is 4. So not in a great place.

Hoping for some good news soon.

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lostlove · 24/01/2023 14:58

How are you doing, OP?

I had a TMFR when I was 35 and a baby the following year. Also - and it was a hard path so I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it - began trying again at 40 and conceived our LO at 42.

Original poster

1990s · 24/01/2023 21:21

Thanks for asking @lostlove .

I’m not so good, waiting for another scan to see how bad the scarring is. Hoping that if I can get that fixed it might have been the problem.

But also starting appts for IVF as I don’t think I have time to waste with AMH of 4, and husband and with bad sperm.

Some days I feel I’ve accepted it not working out, but then there is always that tiny bit of hope.

It feels like with the scarring and the low AMH and the bad sperm that it’s unlikely though!

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lostlove · 24/01/2023 23:39

Do you know how much fixing the scarring might improve the chances of implantation? Presumably that would need to be done ahead of IVF anyway.

I don’t know much about AMH but doesn’t a lower level mean you’re less likely to respond to ovarian hyperstimulation, rather than you’re not ovulating? Is there a case for addressing the scarring and hoping for the best without assisted conception? It’s such a lot to put yourself through, emotionally and financially.

Not sure how much it helps in the end, but are you and your DH taking pre-conception vits? I always felt that we may as well, in the hope of optimising things. Needs a couple of months for DHs due to the length of the sperm production cycle but it’s something you can do that’s good for you both anyway.

Sorry you’re going through this. TFMR is very difficult, and struggling to conceive afterwards must be so hard to bear. (Despite having a successful pregnancy soon after the TFMR, I had a number of early losses trying for my post-40 baby - didn’t seem that big a deal at the time compared to the TFMR, but in hindsight I was pretty broken. I’m stubborn, and we were lucky, but it was psychologically risky.)

That tiny bit of hope, though - I understand its power and wish you the best with however you choose to move forward.

sweetheartyparty · 04/02/2023 22:55

I had a TMFR at 38 and had my healthy dd when I was 40. When I had my TMFR it was after 5 years of trying (damaged tubes) so I had little hope of ever getting pregnant again. But we did after 2 attempts at ivf.

What I think helped on my successful round of ivf was reading 'it starts with the egg'.

I'm really sorry that you
are going throuh this.