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What’s the chances of it happening again! And why the date it’s on??

6 replies

Nikki037297 · 07/04/2022 11:16

6 years ago I was pregnant, all looked great. Had my screening at 12 weeks. Very low risk. Something felt off, couldn’t put my finger on it. The day of my 20 week scan I had a bad feeling and I posted on a forum saying I have my 20 week scan and I just know I’ll be taken into a bereavement room. People commented saying we all get worried it will be fine. Well it wasn’t fine. My baby’s heart was not developed correctly and I was told to end my pregnancy. He had many heart defects which would require many surgeries to correct if he was to survive long enough. Then I was given 1in5 chance of major chromosomes abnormality, most likely a one which was not compatible with life. I took an amnio and all was clear. I kept my baby and he 5 now but with disabilities. I’m 14 weeks pregnant and so scared it will happen again! I’m having a scan at 16 weeks to check the heart, the date tbey have sent me is the exact day and time my scan was at 20 weeks when I got the diagnosis last time. I feel it’s going to go bad and it’s a sign that it’s all on the same day and I realise that even if I was to ring up and change the day it will never make a difference of the outcome. I haven’t been sleeping too good. Having night mares. Iv asked what is the chance they said they are not sure as they were not sure why or what caused it in my other child.
Anyone have children with heart defects? Is it more common to happen again with the next baby?

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 07/04/2022 11:21

If they don't have any idea what caused it it was probably bad luck. The chances of it happening again are minimal if there's no genetic issue linked to your DS's disability.

Don't overthink the dates. I know it's hard. Good luck. Would it help you to go for a private scan for reassurance?

Nikki037297 · 07/04/2022 11:23

They still won’t scan the heart until 16 weeks as it’s too small to see the details. I do have a private scan in 2 days just to see baby and find out girl or boy I’ll be 15 weeks. This will make me feel better seeing baby again and in 4d but so worried about the heart and remember what an awful dark time of my life it was living in the hospital for months and back and forwards for years afterwards

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steppemum · 08/04/2022 16:27

my neice has serious heart defects. She had a heart transplant at age 10.
She has 2 perfectly healthy siblings.

It is impossible not to worry, but I wnated you to know there are positive stories too.
Good luck
x x

Nikki037297 · 13/04/2022 23:43

@steppemum thank you for sharing it has made me more at ease. A relation of mine has two babies with the same defects both passed soon after birth one at 2 weeks one at 6 weeks. Which is what worries me a lot however she is a distant relative and my immediate family have not had children with these defects in their hearts only me so it makes me wonder if it’s related at all or was just a coincidence

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steppemum · 19/04/2022 22:01

sorry it has taken me so long to come back to you.

I think that there are inherited problems and then problems which are just being unlucky.

Without knowing that you will never feel completely relaxed about this. If you knew that his heart problems were caused by something that is random, then you would be confident that it is unlikely to happen again.
Can you ask his doctor about that? It would reassure you a lot I think.

Hope it goes well with the scan
x x

Nikki037297 · 19/04/2022 22:28

Had my scan today all is well. Heart is perfect she said. I can relax a bit more now

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