I just can't shake of this bad feeling that something is bound to be wrong.
I have PCOS and a bicornate uterus. I spent many years thinking I couldn't have children. My periods were about once a year growing up. I have always been overweight so I lost 3 stone after my wedding and my periods starting on every month! After starting metformin, I conceived my boy after one month. The pregnancy was very straight forward and I gave birth to a perfectly healthy boy with no complications.
I unfortunately put on all the weight I'd lost again during the pandemic but for some reason, I continued to have periods every month when my boy was 9 months old. I always told myself I wanted a 3 year age gap between my children. Due to knowing it can take a while I starting trying when my boy was 2. Nothing happened so I requested to go back on metformin again. After 8 months on metformin I conceived again. The timing was perfect. My boy would be 3 and a half, the birthday would be at a perfect time with my husband's business so I would actually get this help this time. It was just TOO perfect. I'm a natural worrier and I just felt like because I didn't lose weight before this pregnancy, I would be punished in some way. There's no way I could be this lucky.
At 9 weeks I had very heavy, sudden bleed. I immediately thought I was having a miscarriage. Luckily the bleeding died down very quickly. A private scan the next day showed the baby was fine and the cause of the bleeding was gone.
I had my NHS scan at 11w 4 days. The sonographer measured me as 2 days ahead, which I thought was a good sign as that must mean the baby is thriving. NT came back as 2.4mm. My first boy was 2.3mm so I wasn't concerned at all. Then had my bloods taken.
2 days later I get a call in the middle of Tesco my risk for edwards and Pataus is very low but my risk for DS was 1 in 113. My PAPP-A came back low at 0.42. All my other results were fine, I'm 27yo. I was petrified, I was just repeating in my head ... this is it. This is my punishment.
Opted for a NHS funded NIPT. The wait was the worst. I didn't leave the house, I kept on crying and I suddenly felt very disconnected to my bump. Just numb. 6 days of waiting and my results came back as void. Not enough fetal DNA. I know this can happen when you're overweight.
I now have to wait 6 days to have another NIPT done and with Easter soon, I'm guessing my next wait will be longer. I don't know how I'm going to cope over the next 2 weeks. This has been already been the worst week of my life.