1/9 chance of Downs. Talk to me, please?

[numberthirtytwoWindsorGardens]

My screening has apparently come back 1/9 chance of Downs. This seems incredibly high to me.

I don't know much about Downs; I know it's a spectrum and some children live very happy and fulfilled lives, but that it can result in serious health problems. I'm very afraid of making DS a carer, and of having a child I can't cope with or who can't live independently without us.

Can anyone advise?

Whatever decision you make for your family, will be the right one OP.

Wishing you all the very best

Thank you, @MargotEmin - you've been so kind. To be honest, I feel the reverse: I feel that, if the result is positive for Downs, whatever I do will be wrong, and it's a question of figuring out which I can bear least badly.

I had a miscarriage earlier this year, and when we got to the 12 week scan I finally breathed a bit. Can't believe this is happening.

What's cvs?

@numberthirtytwoWindsorGardens I’m so sorry you feel you have a fight on your hand regarding your DH or other family members. It can’t make decision-making easy. Do you think he’d be open to at least reading the resources from the DSA rather than start from a position of a point blank no? It might be easier to discuss and work out what you both want to do if you’re learning about DS together....and making a truly joint decision. Good luck xxxx

@numberthirtytwoWindsorGardens I can so empathise with that from the experience of close family.

My dbro and sil had a scare for a different genetic condition. They went through all the thinking then made the heart rending decision they would have a termination for medical reasons.

Much to their surprise and relief it turned out the tests were wrong, so they continued the pg.

Except very sadly the tests weren’t wrong after all and their dd is disabled and has complex health issues. My dsil is open that she wouldn’t have proceeded had she known. Of course she loves her dd very much.

I also have a dc with sn myself. ARC have been so helpful for us - they don’t push any agenda and just listen.

If you want to look at the experience of siblings of dc with disabilities the charity SIBS helps young carers and has lots of info on the challenges. There are plus sides - a higher number of sibs enter the caring professions than the average, so they learn to be caring. But also challenges which my dd is already having.

Just in case this turns up on Google for anyone in the future - the CVS we had booked didn't go ahead, because the placenta was too hard to reach, but we had the NIPT test instead (the hospital staff were incredibly kind) and the results came back less than 1/50,000. I am so relieved and so grateful to all the kind people who shared their experiences, thoughts and resources on this thread. Thank you all very much indeed.

I’m so so happy for you op

Thank you Fox Wishing you and your DC all happiness in the future.

Thank you!!

Delighted for you OP!

Lovely news! All the best for the rest of your pregnancy xxxx