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Pregnant but not motherly!

3 replies

Grendelle · 15/04/2018 17:58

First time poster here! For the first time in my life I've recently found out I'm pregnant... And I'm absolutely bricking it. I'm in the first trimester and really not sure what to do. I found out a few weeks after my 30th. DH and I have been together for 7 years. We've talked about kids before but have grown very accustomed to the happy, fortunate life we've built for ourselves. We do lots of nice things like travelling, weekends away, eating out etc. I know it's terribly selfish but I can't imagine giving all that up for a baby. The thought of baby shopping horrifies me. If I'm completely honest I struggle with infants. I've always felt awkward around them and actually find them quite boring. DH is worse than me! I've read about women who regret having kids and women who are happy they've chosen not to. I don't want to fall into the first category but also not sure I definitely fall into the second. Is this normal??

OP posts:
laurabmummyof3 · 16/04/2018 09:01

It's a huge change and most people worry about change. Yes you are right, becoming parents does curtail your social life. For some people it takes a bit of getting used to, for others it's like you've never done anything else. It's not all magical and wonderful, it's exhausting and hard work. But watching that wee person grow and seeing a little of yourself and hubby in them is really something. You don't have to be overly maternal at the outset, it'll come as you progress in your pregnancy and later by getting to know them, and at the end of the day it's not forever. He/she will grow up and have their own life and you'll have that sense of freedom to holiday etc again alone with hubby. I'm not at that stage with any of mine yet ( eldest 9) but a few friend are already and they enjoy time with them as adults now. So I think the responsibility isn't there forever but do it well and you'll have a friend for life. Good luck. X

Aprilmightbemynewname · 16/04/2018 09:04

Babies are canny portable op!! I have taken mine out to eat /holiday /everywhere!!
I really don't like dc at all - other people's anyway.
I managed to have many many dc and still have a great life!!
Congratulations!!

mayhew · 16/04/2018 09:11

I wasn't that keen on babies even though I'm a midwife! Through circumstance, I only had one. It's been great! She went round the world with us, lived in Africa with us and ate almost everything put in front of her. She has truly enriched our lives

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