Nuchal fluid measuring 6.7mm at 12 week scan. Hand holding needed, please ...

[Catra]

Today I went for my first NHS scan, at 12 weeks and 5 days. I had been feeling cautiously optimistic as we had a private scan at 9 weeks which showed that the baby was growing as expected and had a strong heartbeat. I'm 38 and this is my first and much longed-for pregnancy - after weeks of nausea, dizziness and exhaustion I had finally started to feel human again and now we are faced with the news that the nuchal translucency measurement at the back of the baby's neck is so high it that indicates an 85% risk of chromosomal abnormalities (Downs Syndrome, Edwards Syndrome, Patau's Syndrome and Turner's Syndrome) - an average measurement is apparently 2mm and anything over 3.5mm is considered extremely worrying, so basically my result is through the roof.

Needless to say, I feel like my heart has been ripped out. The midwife took a blood sample today and I now have to play an agonising waiting game until Friday or perhaps even Monday until I know whether I need to go for a CVS or not (where they insert a needle into the placenta and take a sample to determine the result, which in itself carries a risk of miscarriage)

Has anyone else experienced this? Sorry if I don't sound particularly coherent right now, my head's all over the place and I could really do with some hand holding x

I feel for you catra, not the same but I've had some bleeding in this pregnancy. Waiting to get scanned at the EPAU was such a difficult time for me, I struggled to do anything else thinking the worse. I couldn't concentrate on work and the house was turning into an mess!
Just try and be kind to yourself and try and distract yourself if you can, I found talking to friends and going out helped a lot.

((Hugs))

Try and keep busy so you're not fretting all the time xx

Thanks Mogufield I feel for you too at this horrendous time.

I haven't been able to concentrate on work either - I'm freelance and my output has pretty much dwindled to zero these past couple of weeks. Thankfully my manager has been extremely empathetic - his wife recently had a miscarriage so he understands where I'm coming from.

All week I did a pretty good job of keeping myself busy sorting the house and seeing friends but today I feel as though everything has caught up with me and it was hard to even get out of bed. I've ended up Googling a lot and of course among the positive stories are many where women in my position haven't been so fortunate. I'm hoping that tomorrow I'll manage to summon the energy to be more productive and stop myself dwelling on the worst outcome.

Stay in bed and eat chocolate but get off Google! You know the devil invented it right??

Bless your FIL. I hope you stopped him before he started recounting any stories of when he and MIL were younger...

Another hand to hold here. I had a lot of soft markers on my 20 week scan but opted not to have amino, due to previous late loss. The consultant that I was seeing at the time told me to stay off Google as, in his words, 'The more negative outcomes of these studies tend to be reported as when it all goes well, people tend not to write about it.' It was a difficult time though and hoping for that email for you.

This is not the update that I hoped to be giving but we received a phone call today from Ultrasound Direct who did our Harmony Test to say that with 99% + certainty our baby has Down Syndrome. They had also done a test to find out what sex the baby was and we were told that he was a boy.

The NHS told us to come straight down to have a CVS diagnostic test to confirm with absolute certaining that this is the case. They're hoping that they can confirm the result tomorrow.

We've had a fortnight to ruminate and agonise over every possible scenario and DH and I have reached the conclusion together that it wouldn't be fair on our baby to continue the pregnancy. Obviously we are heartbroken and face an incredibly bleak time ahead.

I feel so sad that I couldn't come back here with better news but I felt it only right to update and to say thank you to every one of you who has reached out in support during this horrendous time xx

I'm really sorry you got the result you did OP.

As a mum to a baby with wonky chromosomes I feel like I want to tell you you can do this, you can have an amazing family with this baby.
But really no one else can make the decision for youyou wish you peace and love and happiness in your life x

I'm so sorry OP, what a heartbreaking decision to have to make. I can't offer any thing useful other than to say I'm thinking of you and your DH. Much love

I'm so, so sorry Catra.

I don't know what to say but wanted to offer support such a difficult decision for your family. I hope the next few weeks go as easily as can be expected and you're given the right amount of support.

So sorry Catra , thinking of you.

The diagnostic test has come back as 100% positive for Down's Syndrome. A small consolation is that it is the Trisomy 21 type of Downs as opposed to Dislocation which means that DH and I aren't predisposed to have babies with Downs, we were just incredibly unlucky.

I'm going back into hospital tomorrow to deliver him and we will be taking him home for burial. It is undoubtedly going to be the worst day of our lives and I am going to have to draw on every last iota of my strength to get through this. I am grateful that DH and I are rock solid and that I am not going through this alone because I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

I'm so so sorry OP but you need to think of yourself and what's best for you which it seems you have thought about but you can do not more than that. So sorry you have to go through that

I'm thinking of you and praying for you all.