Life after tfmr

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I had a medical tfmr on Thursday at 14 weeks, 3 previous miscarriages pre 12 weeks and one healthy son, 3.5. I was coping until I left the hospital yesterday. I think while I was still in there it was still 'going on' and there were practicalities. I know it was the right decision to terminate but now I'm home I feel bereft, it's over. I don't know what to do. Dh is largely managing the care for ds which is great but I just want to hide away. Stupid question, how can I feel better, what can I do? How long will it take?

enjoy Tignes! I love it there. For me physical stuff is what I need to take my mind off things and skiing is perfect because as you say it embodies all of the delicious and fun things you can't do while pregnant and combined with pushing yourself physically/the beautiful scenery I think it's a great way to clear your mind. I really hope it brings you some space.

Also glad to hear your bosses are amazing - do try and get off early and do something nice for yourself today. mine has been so lovely too as well as the colleagues I have told by email (I haven't gone back yet..) and can't imagine how hard it must be to have a boss that doesn't understand/you can't share with.

I'm so sorry this was your first experience of pregnancy after so long, what rotten luck and I can assure you it's a lot harder than a miscarriage so you will have really been through it. I am sure that a happy ending like mrst's is just around the corner for you (second pregnancies seem to come more quickly for most people..)

We have been trying for 2.5 years and first fell pregnant in 2015 after 6 months but that ended in miscarriage after 5 weeks (and ironically I found out I was pregnant while skiing so my ski trip last year was a bit emotional..). Nothing then happened until August 2016 immediately after I had the HSG test so I think I must have had some kind of blockage given that we then immediately fell pregnant again after the second mc.

I have no idea if the mcs are linked to my tfmr frustratingly (Edwards syndrome like you, still waiting for the full genetic profile when I assume we'll find out if there are any hereditary issues..). My trust won't investigate miscarriages until you've had 3 and again frustratingly I don't think the termination will count as a third (despite it more than likely to have ended with one if we hadn't..). I have a fertility follow up app in a month so will push for it then..

How are you all ladies?

I got my first AF after tfmr. It lasted a whopping 12 days and ruined 2 pairs of PJs. Here's hoping I'm back to normal now though. I've just got my solid smiley face. Ugh. Really can't be arsed with all that 'trying' nonsense again. Seems like a chore now

Oh and as per my luck recently, AF turned up literally the second I stepped in to reception of our ski holiday! Still had a good break though and pushed myself on to the scary red runs

I haven't been through this but I'm currently waiting some nipt results & just wanted to send lots of love and thoughts to each one of you that has been through such an awful time & just to let you know I'm thinking of you. X

penn - good luck x

Can I just ask how long you bled for? I had tfmr on 26/01 and still bleeding, has lessened at times but then it returns and sorry for tmi but it's been all the colours. I don't feel unwell or pain or anything. But I could really do without the physical reminder.

God I know exactly how you feel. It's so shit having to see a reminder every time you have a wee. I bled so randomly for about 2 weeks. Light, then heavy, then light again. I got my period about 2 days later than usual and it was a bitch. Lasted 10 days and really heavy. I was warned to expect that though

How did it all go for you? I’m 12 weeks post TFMR now .... x

I wish I would have come back to update this. In March 2017 when I was posting I actually got pregnant again! I now have a beautiful 10 month old DD. I took so long to conceive our first baby that I couldn't believe I got pregnant after my first period post TFMR. I'm also now pregnant with our second!

I hope the rest of you have found happiness and strength x

Sorry - I'm leighdinglady just changed my name

Everyone grieves differently but all I can say is time is a great healer I had a TFMR in December 2017 and I started to feel
Better after the due date in June 2018 passed and we were ready to TTC and felt able to move past it by December 2018 ( I got pregnant 4 months later and found out today this little boy is affected by the same condition so I'm due to have another TFMR) not sure yet if I'm strong enough to try again -I'm heartbroken but time does help you move past it if not get over its you need to give yourself time to grieve and talk to people! Xx