namechanged for this. I live abroad so some of the ways things are done here are different to the UK.
I've had a really horrible week. Called on Tuesday by ObGyn's office to say that Panorama test had delivered bad news, had to wait 90 minutes before they would email over the results to show what the bad news was.
Had an appointment the next day with a specialist who showed us all the fluid sloshing around the baby's nuchal area. He did my CVS on Friday, and I rested all weekend to prevent m/c even tho' I knew I'd probably be terminating the pregnancy anyway.
I have always been very clear from family and friend's experience of Downs Syndrome that I would not be able to cope and would not ask my children to cope with something that I find hard. Still awful to see the beautiful baby on the scanner. I'll have to deal with that guilt for ever.
Today is Monday and they confirmed t21. So I have to go for a compulsory counselling session tomorrow and then wait 48 hours and pray that I am still in time for a surgical termination.
But I just wanted to say that I am so grateful to all of you posting your personal stories and experience. I felt much more informed and prepared, as much as I could be.
kittyandteal I really am thankful that you have shared your awful experiences, it was so kind of you.
I am dreading Thursday when I should have my termination. I felt so pleased to have got to 12 weeks without miscarrying.
I am very very lucky to have two healthy children already and I was resigned to only having them. This pregnancy came out of the blue and I dont think I am strong enough to risk trying again-would be 39 by the time a possible baby was born.
I've booked in for counselling from Friday onwards. Figure if I can howl at someone twice weekly I'm less likely to end up sobbing in the gym/shopping mall.
I wish all of you the very best of luck and thank you so very very much. It is a dreadful club to be a part of but I feel I've learnt a fair bit about myself even over this awful week.