Overwhelmed

[laurenlhthompson]

I am feeling slightly overwhelmed by lots of things that have happened recently.

Basically I'm 22. 8 weeks ago I moved 100 miles, 6 weeks ago I started a new job and 4 weeks ago I surprisingly found out I am 13 weeks pregnant.

We're both happy and want the baby but I feel underprepared and I have a history of medical anxiety. I went for a scan yesterday and they couldn't do the downs test plus I have a big fibroid cyst in my uterus and I'm being put under consultant care to monitor the cyst and also my weight.

I'm really worried about the fact I can't have the screening test and all of the other complications. Although the baby was moving and had all the correct parts I found it hard to feel positive about things.

I'm worried about the accuracy of the Quad test and I can't afford a harmony and I feel totally out of control and panicky.

I know, I really do.

Look at the Downs screening this way: would it change anything for you? Would you terminate (there is absolutely no judgement here)? If not, is the anxiety of the screening actually worth it?

I had to have the quad test too because the hospital lost the blood sample for combined and I was already 13+3 at the nuchal scan (bit of confusion with my dates). As I understand it, it's less accurate in the sense that it brings up more false positives, but mine came out as 1 in 61,000 and I'm 10 years older than you.

Pregnancy is, I find, this horrible big balloon of anxiety and I have to drag myself through it. I'm currently torturing myself about my baby measuring small and being referred for lots of scans. The consultant is saying it looks fine so far, but I'm having trouble taking that at face value.

Thank you for your reply CommanderShepard. I felt like I was being silly but it's reassuring to know other people get anxious too.

Honestly if I found out the baby had chromosomal problems I would terminate. It sounds terrible but I'm having to adjust to the idea of having a baby 100 miles away from all of my family and without the support I don't think I could do it.

I know what you mean about taking in what doctors say. I can never trust that they are giving me the full picture and I feel under informed. That is terrible how they lost your results. I'm sure everything will be fine for you and your baby, it's just too easy to over analyse everything they say.

Lauren that's a really tough situation to be in, I'm not surprised you're stressed.

I know the quad test isn't as reliable, it's a shame you can't afford a harmony but they are very expensive.

I know it's not much reassurance as you still have weeks to wait but if there is an issue with you baby (like a trisomy that would have been picked up at the nt test) it will be picked up at your anomoly scan. It's hard but I can pretty much guarantee that you won't get all the way through a pregnancy to end up with a baby with a very serious illness, it will be picked up.

I say this as someone who has the 12 week combined screening, came back as low risk for all trisomies, went to our anomoly scan and abnormalities were found. After an amnio our dd2 was diagnosed with Edwards and we had a termination for medical reasons. An awful, awful situation but there is no way it wouldn't have been discovered.

It's much easier said than done but please try not to worry.

Thank you for your reply KittyandTeal your advice has made me feel better.

I know none of the tests are 100% and I feel calmer about the whole situation now.

I'm sorry for what happened to you it sounds devastating and very tough x

I'm glad that made you feel better. I know the wait until your anomoly will feel like forever but they really are very good. They'll pick anything up if it's there to be picked up.

Also please remember that trisomies and 'incompatible with life' abnormalities are very, very rare. Unless you already have a reason to be high risk you are looking at a baseline of 1:8000 for T13 and T18 (I'm afraid I don't know the baseline for ds but I'm sure it's still very low)

Some people are just unlucky, like we were, but we really are in a small minority.

Lauren I am very sorry about the anxiety provoking situation you are going through. I also suffer from anxiety and I know how anything other than persistent comments stating 'everything is perfect' will make this an unnecessarily stressful time. Abnormal measurements and results can be picked up at any stage and you will always have a choice.

Furthermore, I may need to heed my own advice but the fact is, it is highly likely that everything will be fine. You will have a healthy baby regardless of the absence of tests and you need to keep repeating that to yourself.

Thank you again kittyandteal and also naomijay :)

I feel much better about things today and I'm glad I posted on here as I feel like other people understand.

I'll try not to worry and go along with the tests offered. Hopefully everything is fine :)