Hi ladies
So I’m officially in the waiting game! I had my quad test back last Tuesday and am awaiting a letter with results. I was told if it arrives between 7 and 10 days of the blood test then it will be high risk, if later, then it will carry news of low risk. Hmm. I kind of wish they hadn’t told me that. All it means is that if I see an NHS letter on the doormat this week, I’m going to burst into tears :(
I realise that worrying about it isn’t helping at all and is bad for me and baby. My husband is an optimist and won’t entertain the worst, which is good, but it means I can’t really talk to him about my fears. I’m Ok ish during the day, but last night the dread was mounting up on my train journey home from work, and by the time I reached our house I was about to pass out! I suspect it will be the same today…and tomorrow…and the day after, pretty much until the darn letter arrives!
I have had issues with anxiety in the past. Back in 2012 I had an abnormal smear and had treatment (successful) for that. However, that really triggered my anxiety and as anyone who has been through this will probably agree, the worst thing was the waiting for the NHS letter with good or bad news, and it carries on with the follow up smears. This is taking me back to that time, and I’m not coping too well with it. It’s also affecting my sleep (along with the many toilet trips, yup, second trimester has not cured that for me yet!)
I guess I just have to try and stay calm, and realise that it’s not a diagnosis, just a risk assessment. Hard not to worry about what we will do if it is high risk though. I hate the thought of playing god with my baby’s life and having to make that painful decision, should it come to it.
Anyone else feeling similar? Oh and I’m 17 weeks along and 35 years old.