Medical termination- 6 weeks- Advice/ experiences

[MaggieB2006]

I have just had a medical termination at Marie Stopes at 6 weeks.
I am already a single mum and recently separated from my boyfriend. To my dismay a month after the split I found out I was pregnant. It had already been an extremely difficult 6 months for me when I was hit with this news.
Obviously the pregnancy was not planned. I have always been extremely careful as far as contraception is concerned but was having various health problems that doctors were saying were possibly due to ovarian cysts and my coil was due to be replaced. I had already (with my then boyfriend) decided to take the coil out and give my body a chance to recover to see if my symptoms calmed down. We only had sex on one occasion after that and unfortunately this was when I conceived.

I have been in absolute turmoil for the last few weeks as to know what to do for the best. My initial gut feeling was that I could not possibly continue with the pregnancy but I decided that I should talk it through with my ex.
It took me a great deal of courage to explain to him that I was pregnant.
What I had hoped for is that he could have helped me through this in order we could both make the right decision and he could be of some support. Instead he made me feel as if getting pregnant was my fault and I was to blame for being in this situation.
He told me in no uncertain terms by text that he wanted nothing to do with the baby if I decided to continue. He only wanted to speak face to face to take me to a hospital for a termination. His behaviour towards me I think was appalling and has made everything so much more difficult.
I went to a few counselling sessions and came to the decision that regardless of the feelings of my ex I just was not able to continue with the pregnancy in my current situation. Work, family financially I just couldn't see a way forward.
This was one of the most difficult decisions I've ever had to make but I have just gone through the procedure. At the moment I have massive feelings of sadness, guilt and relief.
I hope that I can move forward now and not look back with regret and sadness.

It would be really good to hear from anyone else that has been through this experience and come out of the other side

Many thanks

M x

Hi Maggie,

I have had a medical termination because me and my bf were together for a few months and it was too soon plus we had loads going on.

U did what u felt was right. There is no right or wrong everyone is different.

Termination is of course a HORRIBLE decision for anyone to go to its very difficult and u find not
Many people understand.

I understand the guilt and the feelings of confusion and being lost basically.

Remember that your hormones are all over the place still so they can make u very emotional. I am sure in time things will get better, it's horrible men don't understand the physical and mental impact.

Look after yourself your body and your mind and your little one take care. Hugs xx

I don't have personal experience but have been my friends "partner" through something remarkably similar. She was very clear that she couldn't go forward with the pregnancy. At the time of the procedure she was upset but determined. Afterwards she was relieved. Then came the hormone crash, she was broken. She went through every one of the feelings you would imagine at high speed, sometimes several at once and questioned everything despite "intellectually" still knowing she'd made the right call. Once the hormones settled down so did she and, many years later, still believes she made the right choice at the time. She was and still is very surprised at the strength of the feelings she had afterwards though. It's one of the things I feel is under explained because it is so extreme for some people it can seem like you've made a massive mistake rather than suffering from a physical response iyswim. I think there would be a lot less heartbreak if people fully understood that side of things.

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences with me.
It really does help so much to hear that the hormone charged roller coster of emotion is normal and there is an end in sight.
I know the decision I made was for the right reasons and I just need to try and hang on to that.

Thanks again

M x

Hi Maggie
I have just made the decision to go ahead with a termination myself and will also be 6 weeks when it happens. I agree, it is the hardest decision ever but I suppose it should be. I have had some great advice on here and from friends. I know it will be hard not to think of the what ifs but it is important that you look forward and focus on the reasons why it was the right decision for you. Looking back will only give you a sore neck! Try and stay positive. Big hugs xx