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NT lots of fluid around body and other twin vanished - not much hope

34 replies

drkatea · 21/08/2014 23:35

I'm new to mumsnet but have looked at lots of posts and advice since I found out that I am pregnant. Had some really bad news and so have decided to write to see if anyone has any experience in relation to the outcome of my scan.

I'm 46 and pregnant for the first time. My husband and I (married last year after finally finding a man I truly wanted to commit to and have babies with) were thrilled when we found out that I had conceived naturally in June. I had the first scan at only 8 weeks and found that we had fraternal twins. Initially we were a bit shocked but then thrilled that we were expecting 2. I was high risk in every way but the preganancy seemed to be going really well and felt fine.

Yesterday we went for a 12 week scan and found that one twin had vanished and the other was in a really bad way. We weren't given a NT measurement and I forgot to ask what the number was but the baby has fluid all around the top and back of the head, right down the back and on the belly. "Not good at all" I was told and I could see that for myself. I guess they thought the actual measurement wasn't particularly relevant to us as we were told that it was unlikely to survive another week. We were advised that some couples would choose to terminate at this point and medical termination was described an offered as an option.

However, as you might imagine, we're not ready to give up just yet. We're going back for another scan next week and will get the results of a blood test for infections which are a possible cause. If the baby does survive, then we'll have either a CSV as it can be done quickly or wait for an amniocentesis at 15 weeks. Of course, the chances of Down's or another genetic disorder is pretty high given my age. A heart defect is also possible, as is a host of other things.

I have searched and searched and although I have seen posts describing happy endings in which genetic tests are negative and the fluid problem resolves itself, this tends to be where fluid has built up later in the pregancy and none involve a vanished twin. Many stories end sadly of course.

We're trying to stay positive for our surviving, though very sick, twin but I'd appreciate hearing about any similar experiences, no matter how they ended.

OP posts:
LuckyAugust · 05/09/2014 14:59

So sorry to read this. As others have said please don't give up. After the loss of our dd in February I couldn't imagine being brave enough to try again. But we did and I'm now almost 18 weeks. Sending big hugs xxxx

September60b · 05/09/2014 18:55

So sorry to hear this very sad news op. Look after yourself as best you can over the next few days x

Figuringitout · 05/09/2014 22:50

So sorry to hear this. Am thinking of you. Life is so shitty and unfair at times. X

VinoMamma5 · 06/09/2014 19:18

So very sorry for your loss xx

drkatea · 29/12/2014 03:22

Well it's some time since I posted but thanks again to all that offered support. It turned out to be Down's as we found out 6 weeks later. I'm afraid the delivery was actually worse than expected and there was more awfulness to come. Within a week of the delivery my husband said he wanted to leave me and 8 days ago he left. I'm thinking of starting a new thread on that. He says he's not sure if he wants to leave permanently or not so for now it's a trial separation.

OP posts:
wtffgs · 29/12/2014 05:36
Sad I don't have any words of wisdom. I am so sorry. Thanks
CheerfulYank · 29/12/2014 05:44

Oh. Oh, honey.

I'm not sure what to say. Life is so unfair sometimes.

rootypig · 29/12/2014 05:45

I am so, so sorry. You've been through so much.

Is anyone looking after you in RL, OP? you need someone to wrap you up while you grieve your babies. I'm so sorry that your husband couldn't be that person for you.

Flowers
Pomegranatemolasses · 29/12/2014 11:16

I'm so sorry to hear that drkatea. You must feel as though your lovely life has turned into a nightmare.

I really hope you have some RL support. Post in Relationships and you will get some good advice there. Very sorry that your husband has let you down so badly.

You will have happy times again, it takes time to heal from this double blow.

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