I'm sorry to hear you're facing such a stressful time and I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your son.
My last two pregnancies, I have faced similar high risks. With my last, the risk was 1 in 34. It would have been fine, a normal size nuchal, were it not for the terrible bloodwork. The PAPP-A hormone was 0.23MoM which is very very low. My son does not have Down Syndrome and has typical chromosomes.
This pregnancy was even worse. I was told 1 in 5. This was driven by bad bloodwork again (5.43MoM for bHCG, which is ridiculously high) but also by a borderline high nuchal. However even with a good nuchal, I still had odds of 1 in 16. Harmony says my little girl does not have Down Syndrome or any of the other trisomies tested for (I am 21 weeks now)
Both times I went to the FMC like you. It's a wonderful place.
With my son I refused invasive testing until 32 weeks when it is pretty much safe, so I effectively "waited it out" for 20 weeks. During that time I lived on forums, hearing results. In all that time only one person had a positive result based on bloodwork alone - nearly every other person with a positive result had a borderline or high nuchal too, and some even had normal bloodwork.
The bloodwork can be out of range for reasons other than trisomies - it can indicate previous bleeding (has your wife bled at all? my high bHCG is being put down to that) or placental issues (my son was noticeably smaller at birth than my older two girls) or it may mean, as it does in most cases, absolutely nothing of clinical significance whatsoever!
The NT screening produces a LOT of screen positive results but obviously the vast majority of those babies have typical chromosomes. Some people opt not to have the NT screening at all because they don't want the worry at all, or face the choice of invasive testing. Hurray for Harmony at least, as at now, even though there's a longer wait, you no longer have to risk the baby to find out.
I have been on the wrong end of odds with pregnancy before (although with a better outcome) but I can totally understand that feeling that if you have been "the one" before, why not again? It is hard to feel rational even though statistics are statistics.
Let us know how it goes!