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Antenatal tests

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NT results of 1 in 5. I need positive stories here please.

99 replies

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 11/09/2013 14:47

All calm has departed.

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SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 20/09/2013 21:31

That's exactly how I feel Telephone. Ive had 10 days of thinking and thinking and thinking, and in my heart of hearts, I have made my decision. If the results of the CVS are positive, DP is going to be very unhappy with me, but I couldn't live with deciding to terminate.
I think peace is a good description of how im feeling right now, although it could well be the eye of the storm, Ive been pretty up and down.
The biggest worry on my mind is what my decision will do to my relationship with DP. I'm going to ask for some counselling if things go that way.
Thank you for posting, in fact thank you to everyone. x

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woundbobbin · 20/09/2013 21:32

I had a NT of 3.6. I refused further testing dd is fine but the worry ruined my pregnancy.
I have a sibling with DS he has some brain damage following his heart surgery (Bristol dr since struck off) so he requires a lot of support. However growing up alongside him I adored him and was always very protective - he moved out of my parents home aged 21 and lives in supported living he is very happy there and my parents don't worry about me or another of my siblings having to provide full time care for him should anything happen to them.

CrispyFB · 20/09/2013 21:53

That was really bad that they left you waiting like that. I would be very cross too! The screening midwives should have known better.

Sorry to hear about the heart worry. To be fair, a raised nuchal fold can be an indicator of heart issues independent of Down Syndrome, so it's possible it is "just" (ha ha) that. I've been recommended a cardiac scan at 20 weeks because mine was 2.7mm, much smaller than yours.

I felt like you with my last pregnancy with DC3. As we were waiting it out over 20 weeks we had a long time to think about it. DH didn't want to terminate either but also did not want a baby with serious special needs and could not reconcile the two in an acceptable manner so stuck his head in the sand and hoped it would all go away. Luckily for him it did, although I know he would have adjusted eventually and loved our son just as much as he does now.

Hoping the results come in sooner rather than later!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 20/09/2013 22:06

I rang the screening support midwife today. The one who I saw originally is off, but her colleague was very Confused She is going to investigate and Ill get a call next week. TBH Im not bothered about myself, but I hope they don't put anyone else through the hellish delay!

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CrispyFB · 20/09/2013 23:37

I'm really glad they are going to investigate. Good for you for complaining. As you say, if it stops anyone else going through unnecessary waiting then it is absolutely worth it!

TelephoneTree · 21/09/2013 21:06

It's very hard but listen - see what the results are and if your baby does have DS, then at least you both know what's what. I'm in London too so you would be very welcome to meet up with us or you can PM me any time too. I don't envy you any of this - it's all very emotional and that's very hard indeed.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 21/09/2013 21:33

Thank Telephone. I love MN. There are so many lovely people like you willing to listen and share. I really appreciate it. I hope some day I can pay this experience forward to help someone else. x

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TelephoneTree · 21/09/2013 21:44

Fwiw, I think it's too big of an ask to expect a pregnant woman to terminate if she doesn't want to or 'just can't.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 21/09/2013 21:49

In all honesty, DP and I have been here before. I was 20 when I got pg with DS and we had separated. Termination came up and I made it clear then that I wont do it. I think hope he will understand and support me, he is just scared.

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TelephoneTree · 21/09/2013 21:55

ok well that makes it easier. When do you get your results?

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 21/09/2013 22:19

Probably Tuesday, maybe Monday.

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TweaksCrunchyCarrot · 22/09/2013 14:07

When I had my high nuchal, I did loads of reading and still follow some of the blogs now.

  1. Nella cordelias birth story - will make you cry, but in a good way. www.kellehampton.com/2010/01/nella-cordelia-birth-story.html
  1. Seb White www.facebook.com/pages/Downs-Syndrome-Raising-Awareness-and-Shifting-Attitudes/111884258891638
SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 23/09/2013 19:46

Well the call came. We are having a baby with Down's.

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Timpani · 23/09/2013 19:57

Oh my goodness saggy. Just read through your thread. I hope you are ok. :(

TelephoneTree · 23/09/2013 20:19

I'm sorry if this is completely inappropriate but congratulations Smile.

Please ask me anything you like - the good the bad and the ugly. I will try to be as objective and factual as I can.

Whatever you decide is the right thing for you and that's the bottom line.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 23/09/2013 20:23

Thank you. I'm sad, but it's still my baby. I just want to know if we are having a boy or a girl now.

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TelephoneTree · 23/09/2013 20:42

oh don't you find that out with a CVS?

TelephoneTree · 23/09/2013 21:15

Oh and for each of the health problems that a child with DS may have - I know a family (well) who has a (typical) child with at least one of them.

Regarding learning difficulties - so what? We're all different and all better and some things than others.

I find this really good browsing to arm myself with info:
community.babycentre.co.uk/groups/a1020035/down_syndrome

Our boy started mainstream montessori nursery in May and loves it. The staff and kids love him and he's already being invited to birthday parties - mainly by 4 year olds - and it's not be a whole class invited. He's been specifically chosen.

TelephoneTree · 23/09/2013 21:15

He's 2.5...

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 23/09/2013 21:32

Telephone your son sounds awesome. Smile
My protective instincts are kicking in now. My Mum just suggested an abortion. I know she is thinking of me, but I'm quite annoyed!

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TelephoneTree · 23/09/2013 21:55

I know but in some ways it's nice that she's voicing what she thinks you might be thinking and thus offering her support.

I didn't want to talk about it with anyone until after the 20 week normal scan and subsequent 22 week cardiac scan. We didn't find out for sure until he was born.

How's your DP?

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 23/09/2013 23:07

Like a truck hit him!

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CrispyFB · 23/09/2013 23:13

I am so glad you have somebody as lovely as TelephoneTree to hold your hand here Smile

Often encountering an opinion that is different to the one in your gut is what helps make you realise what your gut feeling actually is, whichever choice it is. So in many ways your mum has unconsciously done you a favour. I would feel like you if that was suggested to me, in fact that is why we waited it out as we knew we'd keep our baby regardless. I honestly mean no disrespect to others who have chosen differently - everybody has their own hard decisions to make.

When we were waiting it out I became a lot more conscious of people (adults and children) with Down Syndrome in the wider community. I had never really paid attention before, but I do now and I realised I had a lot of misconceptions before. Just last week we were at our local snowdome and there were a few youngsters with Down Syndrome skiing to a great standard. It's not the closed door so many expect it to be, so long as the health issues aren't totally prohibitive.

I am obviously not able to speak as someone who has had a positive diagnosis and has been through it, but I would imagine it is safe to say that it is okay to be sad and grieve the loss of the future you were expecting. If you haven't come across it before, the "Welcome to Holland" story rings a lot of bells with my friends when they have had their children newly diagnosed with special needs.

Very much thinking of you and your emotional journey ahead.

By the way - give them a call tomorrow and ask the sex. Pretty sure they'll have that information somewhere - they test every chromosome after all. And then let us know! Grin

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 23/09/2013 23:17

Welcome to Holland is lovely. I read it a few days ago. So lovely.

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saintlyjimjams · 24/09/2013 13:53

Hello saggy wrt cardiac issues it's worth searching for eidsvold on mumsnet saggy. Her dd was diagnosed with a heart condition found in DS while she was pregnant. She was indeed born with DS and a heart condition (although iirc it wasn't as serious as had been anticipated from the pregnancy scans) had heart surgery while a tiny baby and is now a happy, healthy if not teen, nearly teen.