Possibly need TFMR - but due to my health. Any experiences?

[koutaliaphobe]

I think I might need to be considering this, pending test results, but have known for a while it might be a possibility.
I'm wondering if anyone would be willing to share their experiences of the process? Particularly I'm wondering if it's something the doctors will bring up and tell me to consider, or if I need to tell them I'm thinking about it for it even to be suggested.
I know this will vary massively from person to person and condition to condition, and that it's a very sensitive issue, but any advice would be very much appreciated.
Thank you
(also, if you think this isn't the right place to post this please just say and I'll ask for it to be moved, I know termination is a very emotive issue and don't wish to offend anyone)

Hi,

I have had a TFMR for DS (Down's Syndrome) and AVSD (a heart defect) last year at 22 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I'm sorry that you think you may be faced with possibly having to go through this yourself.

When a diagnosis of a severe abnormality is likely to be made or has been made, doctors/midwives will normally discuss with you what you want to do next. They may even go straight to advising you do terminate, which is what happened in my experience.

TFMR itself involves taking tablets 2 days prior to the actual induction then going into hospital to, typically, have pessaries inserted vaginally near your cervix which softens the cervix and encourages dilation. The amount of time the labour takes to progress varies. Typically it is 1-2 days which is what I was told, though my experience was unusual and actually took 5. You are offered as much pain relief as you like because you don't have the same worries as in a normal healthy labour. I hate to put it bluntly but obviously they don't have to worry about the effects of the drugs on the baby. This is a good thing though because induced labour is painful regardless of what gestation you are at (something that I think SOME people like to ignore when they're being judgemental about what we "choose" to do in these circumstances).

If you aren't offered a termination in such circumstances, and I think this is very unlikely because I've seen people being offered them in the 30+ weeks period, it may be because the hospital you are in has religious connections i.e. a catholic affiliated hospital, catholic health professionals leading your care. You can request to be treated by a different hospital or a different doctor or whatever in these circumstances. It is your choice to end your pregnancy provided that beyond the normal legal limit there is a severe abnormal that will impact on your child's life, which I assume there is a chance of otherwise you wouldn't be thinking about TFMR.

Send me a message if you have any questions. You may also find the charity Antenatal Results and Choices (ARC) UK useful as it has a support forum that you can request access to or there are telephone support lines.

I hope you get good news and don't need any of this information :) there is plenty of support out there if you do though.

Sorry, I've just read that this might be due to your health. In the UK, health professionals i.e. midwives, doctors, nurses... anyone involved in your care, has to put your health before your baby's health. If they think you are at risk of severe harm or death and it cannot be resolved then they'll advise termination. You can always discuss it with them and see what their opinion is on your circumstances, but it will probably be difficult for you to actually say the words.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, they have been of great help to read even if just to know that I'm not alone, although the situations are not exactly the same I think there is a lot of overlap between them in terms of approach - sorry I didn't reply sooner but for some reason all my active threads no longer show up on my account.