terminating because family feels 'complete'?

[whatdidInamechangeto]

I need a little perspective. I am 37, have two DC's 5 and 3 yo, and unexpectedly pregnant - about 6w I think, but v dodgy cycle. I've been increasingly coming to the conclusion over the last few months that two is enough kids for me, although we always talked about maybe a third. I'm coming out of a very difficult period with work which was messing with my head a lot, and I was looking forward to being 'me' again and doing things for myself and with the kids and DH as they grow up. The thought of going back nappies, night wakings, SPD fills me with dread. And yet I haven't thrown any of the baby stuff out, 'just in case'. We have a stable home, financially okay, we could give a baby a good life. So why does this feel so dreadful? I have been thinking about terminating, and am trying to work out if I can bring myself to do that.

If I was you and felt that my family was complete, I personally would terminate. I know a family who were in this situation - after having two children, the wife got pregnant again by accident (many years ago now) and she decided to have an abortion. She only wanted two children, and was very happy with her existing family. As far as I know, she never had any regrets about it. Caitlin Moran tells the same story.

If you decide to terminate, do it soon so you can have a medical abortion, i.e. they'll get you to take a pill which will cause the pregnancy to abort.

Good luck whatever you decide - and importantly, get hold of some bombproof contraception for the future!

I've had two unplanned pregnancies. The first I thought a termination was logically the best choice due to finances, where we were living and whether or not we were ready for a child but I just couldn't do it and went ahead with the pregnancy. She's now 18 months old and I wouldn't change a thing, I made the right choice.

The second pregnancy I found out about 5 weeks ago and just felt terrified when I saw that it was positive. I'd take the MAP on that cycle and assumed that my period was late because of that rather than pregnancy. I spent a week panicking about whether or not I could go through with it and being too scared to see my GP. After the week I decided to go to the FPC and asked for a referral. 3 weeks ago I had the termination and I'm glad that I did. I've had no regrets or guilt since then and the process itself wasn't too painful or difficult, the staff were all lovely (BPAS clinic).

There is no right or wrong answer just the best option for you and your family right now. If you do decide to terminate and want to know anything about what to expect from it then I'm happy to answer any questions you have on thread or by PM.

I hope the counselling goes well and you're able to make a decision that you're comfortable with. Best of luck and hugs.