Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Antenatal tests

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

waiting for Cvs results, scan risk of one in two feeling sick.

43 replies

Aoifebelle · 24/05/2013 10:36

On Wednesday I had a cvs following a 12 week scan that came back with a risk of one in two for a chromosomal disorder. All markers were bad. Nucal 4.9, hcg 1.6 MoM, PappAs 0.4 MoM, no nasal bone and other soft markers. Results of cvs are due today, and I feel sick. Basically even if chromosome are ok, very high chance that something else structural has gone wrong. We are heartbroken

We have pretty much decided to terminate if the results are confirmed to be as bad as we think. What I want is for things to move as quickly as possible. Any advice for how to help this happen.

OP posts:

lostlove · 25/05/2013 18:24

Hello, Aoifebelle, I'm so sorry that you find yourself in this situation.

I had a medical termination recently (after CVS) and found stuff on here useful in terms of understanding and being prepared for what would happen in hospital.

Is there a bereavement midwife at the hospital? For me, once I'd understood the termination process, having an opportunity to talk through the emotional side of things was helpful so do ask about it and, if available, make an appointment if you think it would help you.

I understand about 'robot mode'. I think it's a way of getting through a period of waiting when the emotions are overwhelming and the thing you're waiting for is something you desperately wish didn't need to happen.

As you say, becoming not pregnant when there isn't a living baby at the end is terribly hard.

In your post on the other thread you asked 'How did you do it? How did you come out the other side?'. I'm still kind of in it, really, so not sure I can answer very helpfully, but I would say that talking is important. For a variety of reasons I'm not good at that and I know it makes my life harder, recent months especially - so if you can, talk to people you trust in RL and on here.

I'm here for you and happy to try and answer any questions you might have or just hold your hand. I'll keep checking in to see how you are.

Original poster

Aoifebelle · 25/05/2013 18:58

Thank you so much lost love. I expect next week will hit me like a ten tonne cement truck. Between the termination, the not being pregnant, and the hormone crash I am expecting to be a total wreck.
I am more of a rationalist than a talker, but I think I will need some help through this. I will definitely ask for the bereavement midwife, let's hope it is not the one I have taken a deep dislike to. I may also very well take you up on your kind offer.

OP posts:

cantbloodywellchoose · 25/05/2013 19:03

I am so sorry ??

MrsDeVere · 25/05/2013 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lozster · 27/05/2013 11:04

Just another one logging in to say how sorry I am to hear you are going through this. Wishing you strength for the week to come.

Original poster

Aoifebelle · 27/05/2013 16:38

Thanks to all. Getting some strength from a day on the sun in the countryside. I will need it in the tank for the next few weeks.

Thanks for all your best wishes, they really do help.

OP posts:

lostlove · 27/05/2013 16:44

It is a lovely day - glad you're out in it x

Wishfulmakeupping · 27/05/2013 16:45

I'm so sorry OP
You sounds like you are being very brave- I will be thinking about you- stay strong x

jmf294 · 27/05/2013 18:25

Still thinking of you Aoife.
Remembered you when I was at church on Sunday- lean on those around you for support and keep talking.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers this week and the weeks ahead xxx

Original poster

Aoifebelle · 28/05/2013 09:36

Managed to have a really nice day yesterday, but the day ended with me sobbing like I have never sobbed before. There were noises coming out of me I just didn't recognize. I think I managed to scare my OH.

The termination process starts today, with tablets to soften my cervix. Can anyone tell me what to expect? Will I feel it happening?

OP posts:

Abra1d · 28/05/2013 10:12

No experience on this but thinking of you.

lostlove · 28/05/2013 11:06

Thinking of you and your OH today. I hope he's with you to look after you.

I don't think you said which procedure you're having (surgical or medical)?

Either way you should be given time to discuss things with somebody at the hospital before they give you the tablets so ask all the questions you need to - they are best placed to advise as they have your notes and can explain exactly how they will look after you.

I'll be watching the thread today x

Original poster

Aoifebelle · 28/05/2013 11:49

Surgical, but going I today to have tablets to soften my cervix, ePRC on Thursday. This has been the longest week of my life.

OP posts:

lostlove · 28/05/2013 13:48

Yes, a day feels like a lifetime, but you'll get though.

I don't have experience of the surgical procedure that would be of any help but whoever you see at the hospital can explain what will happen and you could use the search on here to read about other women's experiences.

Have you booked time off work to recover? It depends on the sort of person you are - some just want to get on with their lives but others need a bit more time. I needed to stay home while the physical symptoms settled down a bit.

lostlove · 28/05/2013 13:49

though through

bonzo77 · 28/05/2013 14:21

I am so sorry for the rotten situation you are in. I've not been exactly where you are. But I have had an erpc at about 14 weeks. It was a short, physically painless procedure. After there was very little physical pain either. I also knew that I wouldn't be getting my perfect baby well before hand, several weeks in fact. After the op I was much more able to grieve. Somehow it wasn't quite real till after. My next baby was born less than a year after the erpc. Wishing you much strength and courage. Please try hard not to concern yourself with how your mum reacts of feels. It's beyond your control. Much of her sadness will be for you, I know that's hard to bear, but there's nothing you can do.

shellsocks · 29/05/2013 23:23

Thinking of you aoife I really hope everything goes as smoothly as possible for you tomorrow x

HappySmileyFace · 30/05/2013 13:59

Just wanted to say I am thinking of you.

I have been in the same situation and it is heart wrenching. I look back over those weeks and I was in a bit of a daze. I only told immediate family and my boss (I was meant to fly overseas for a conference when I found out the news).

I don't know if this helps you to know but I will tell you in case it does.... Three years down the track I am now able to talk about it openly. I look back at that time with great sadness but I got through it one day at a time. I went on to become pregnant again 3 months later and had an uneventful pregnancy. I have since had another DC, again no dramas.

I understand your sorrow. Be kind to yourself.

Flip

1 2