Just need to share

[umbrella]

So I found out I'm pregnant due April 2013. My partner is over the moon. I'm terrified mostly of people's opinion. I'm 32 separated a year ago from ex husband with a 6 year old and 4 year old to him. We share joint residency and the breakup was horrid and he treats me like crap. I live in rural Ireland where i was the topic of gossip for months. I can't afford divorce proceedings from ex. Been with new partner now quite few months but I keep him and kids separate as I didn't want to rush into things. I want this child but my family are disappointed thinks I should think of my existing kids and the affect it will have on them. My mum suggested going to England to take a tablet but the only way I would think of that is because I'm so terrified of what my ex husband will say when he finds out I'm pregnant by someone else I'm scared of him he bullied me for years. I'm so confused everyone will talk again about me but I'm already attached to the little life form inside me how do I make this work!

Aww hun, this should be a happy time for you! People that want to gossip are pathetic and jealous and are unhappy with their own life's and as for your bullying ex well he obviously needs a slap, just try to stay away from him and only communicate when he needs to have the children. Your mum should be supportive and stick by you and your decisions. No one can tell you what to do, you and your partner will instinctly know what's right for you :) congratulations

That?s something only you can answer and decide on I?m afraid. It sounds from your post as if you really do want to go ahead with the pregnancy but are only being held back through fear of what others think. You need to make a decision ? whatever that might be ? based on what is right for you, your partner and your kids. Nobody else?s thoughts, views or half-arsed opinions matter.

Your partner is chuffed to bits, you?re chuffed to bits and presumably there are no issues concerning your finances, living arrangements or anything else that will really cause lives to turn upside down with the arrival of a new baby.

OK so there?s the issue with a controlling ex (still an ex either way ? you?re separated and no longer under his control so try to put that aside if poss) and an unsupportive family that appear equally as concerned about the shitload of folk in the area as you but if that?s the worst you have to contend with, things aren?t as bad as you think.

You want the baby its as simple as that I think. Interesting double standards from your mum from the rural ireland tongues wagging perspective . Please stop your toxic ex from bullying you further and put him out of your mind, perhaps its time for your lovely dp to start helping you to stand up to him and play a fuller part in your lives. Dont have an abortion if it isnt what you want.

Disclaimer - I am completely pro choice. This is meant as advice not a judgy post!

Thanks everyone I do want to proceed going to be brave and carry on :)

I wasnt going to read any of the other threads on this board as Im wanting a termination and came for advice. But I am compelled to share

My ex forced me into 2 terminations, it was horrific and I have never forgiven myself for being so weak that I allowed him to treat me that way. Its scarred me very deeply. If you want this baby please dont let anyone else make your decision into something you will regret. Because if you are not 100% certain it is your choice you will carry the guilt for ever. The only positive I can think is that I wouldnt have had my children that I have now had I not terminated and I cannot imagine life without them.

No one has the right to decide what goes on in your body, take your time and go with what feels right for you and to hell with gossips and the idiots. I wish you good luck xx