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Original poster

terrified of termination

12 replies

flyingcircus · 15/08/2012 15:08

Hello all.
Sorry to have this subject in an area where so many women are having tests etc. but I didn't know where else to post.
I'm booked in for a surgical termination tomorrow and am terrified. Will it hurt? Will they be mean to me? Will I suddenly feel incredibly guilty after? Am I a complete bitch? All I know is I cannot have a baby. Am having daily panic attacks just thinking about it. :(

OP posts:
FiveMonths · 15/08/2012 15:12

You sound very scared and worried Sad

I am so sorry you are feeling like this.

I've never had one, though partly because I was scared to - but I am sure lots of people will be able to reassure you.

I can definitely say you're not a total bitch - please don't think that. You are clearly distressed, I don't think anyone would think badly of you.

Original poster
flyingcircus · 15/08/2012 15:19

Thank you for the reply. I am incredibly distressed, partly at the thought of tomorrow but also the thought of the alternative. I have tried thinking and imagining being pregnany, growing, and then having a baby which will grow into a person and that is what is making me panic.
I need to keep it from my doctor, and if I ever have to have a pelvic exam for whatever reason I'll hope he will believe it to be a miscarriage

OP posts:
LineRunner · 15/08/2012 15:23

flyingcircus, are you still in the early stages of pregnancy? It will be fine. But it does sound like you are very unsure and your statement that 'I need to keep it from my doctor' suggests that you are vulnerable in some way. Who, if anyone, is giving you guidance on this? Have you any support?

cazboldy · 15/08/2012 15:23

Why on earth would you want to keep it fom your doctor? Confused

FiveMonths · 15/08/2012 15:24

You poor thing.

I understand fear and panic, I've suffered from these things all my life, just about.
Luckily for me, it wasn't about having a child, but I know for sure that there are other people who are just as terrified of this as you are.

You have no reason to feel ashamed.
Why do you have to keep this termination a secret from your gP - are you afraid they will not approve?

If so I wonder if it might be time to change your GP, as you should always be able to confide in this person about serious matters - and to be afraid of them is not how it should be Sad

Have you anyone looking after you - a partner or husband for example, or other family or friends?

Fiona35 · 15/08/2012 15:27

Hello OP

So sorry you are in this situation :(

I was in the same situation in December last year, I made the heartbreaking decision to terminate, I was quite sure it was the right decision for our family. I chose a medical termination but unfortunately it didn't work for me (small percentage don't work fully) so had to have a surgical too. You don't mention if you are having a general anaesthetic or whether you will be sedated? I had mine under general anaesthetic and have to say it was absolutely fine, nothing to worry about, no real pain or bleeding afterwards.

Nobody will be mean to you, I found they were incredibly kind and supportive, they are in no way judgemental :)

Do you have somebody to go with you and support you?

Sending you lots of hugs at an incredibly hard time xxxx

Original poster
flyingcircus · 15/08/2012 15:30

Hi.
I will be 5 weeks on the day, which is the earliest they will do the procedure. And am being sedated, but I want it over with as soon as possible and I'm worried sedation may involve me staying there longer so will decide tomorrow. I have had really good counselling from the Marie Stopes counsellors, so am not on my own.
And its the family doctor, would really like to keep it private. The clinic have assured me its all confidential, but there is a worry he would know. I don't want anyone to know.

OP posts:
FermezLaBouche · 15/08/2012 15:34

Hi OP.
Can I ask why you're not having the early medical procedure (tablet and pessaries) at this early stage? I also opted for the BPAS clinic not to contact my GP because of unpleasant reaction from my doctor when I went to request a termination. Please feel free to PM me if I can be of any help. You will be ok
xx

LineRunner · 15/08/2012 15:36

Flyingcircus, at 5 weeks it really is a very quick and straighforward procedure, and you will be fine as soon as the sedation or anaesthetic has worn off and will be able to go home (that's usually just a couple of hours). You can ask for your notes to be kept strictly private.

I'm glad you have seen the counsellors and the staff at the clinic will be professional, kind and supportive.

Original poster
flyingcircus · 15/08/2012 15:42

Ah thank you both. I am having surgical because medical involved two trips to the centre and I just cannot escape from work more than once.
Am feeling a bit better, thank you x

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 15/08/2012 15:42

I've had one and two medical ones. No they don't really hurt. You will feel a bit rough and will need to take it easy for a couple of days.

My best advice is to work out the reasons you are having it and write them down if necessary so that you can remember why you are doing it. Then when you look back you can be assured that you made the right decision with all the information you had available to you at the time.

FermezLaBouche · 15/08/2012 15:45

There are centres who will do it all in one day, eg Birmingham. You have to go in early (9am ish) and yes it does involve 6 hours of waiting between medicines, but it's doable. I did it all in one day as having two days off work would have been impossible.
I'm not trying to confuse you, particularly if you've made up your mind, but I do think you deserve to know all the options. xx

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