Thank you all. have pm'd some of you, hope you dont mind. Sorry for those of you who have experienced similar pain and//or loss and for any sad emotions this brings up.
Mantiz, I didnt find out til I was 14 +3 so missed earlier scans.. that scan dated me as my periods stopped a year ago and I was told I was going through themenopause at 41! so was on hrt patches! but had a scan at 14+3 and 16 weeks and they said all seemed fine..
we did phone the OBS on Friday and the same thing but he said the report hadnt changed, and he hasnt got a prognosis which is what he has written in the report 'unspecified nature'. Thats the problem for me as you have mentioned. If the heart scan was available and I went there to be told all is ok, then would I have known about anything else? (I know that in itself is a double edged sword - better to know or not?).
My MW team have been useless, I think the have 'disowned' me since my referral as I haven't heard from any of them or the consultant for 3 weeks. I phoned on friday to confirm my appointment at a local FMU (it was supposed to be this morning - and I was relying on it for a 2nd opinion) only to be told they cancelled it whilst I was on holiday as I got into Bristol instead! I am fuming. The Cardiff OB is booked til september, so I have now had to pay to go private with him to get an appointment wednesday night. I think a 2nd opinion is important though.
Baby seems to be moving less. I am finding it hard to eat and drink as I have had cramping since the amnio and now seem to have a stomach bug /diarohhea (sorry tmi) , and my boobs seem to become smaller over night (no my belly isnt bigger! - Ive lost 3lbs in the last week).. I dont even think its worth calling the MW team because they are so blase, they'll make me feel like its probably all in my head.. maybe it is... I cant face going out ofthe house in case people ask about baby... couldnt take my 5 year old to his parties this weekend even!.
I am preparing for the worst and have read some sad stories about termination or ctt even if incompatible with life....and the decisions to make in relation to that. I guess I will be passed 24 weeks now by the time everything comes through.. emotionally Im not sure what I can and can;t deal with longer term and what I will regret least.
Thank you all for replying, I just feel so alone. husband is great, but cant talk about it to me.