Please tell me about medical termination

[AngryBeaver]

I have a thread about our story until now. (1:5 odds of downs.)
I am having a termination this week. I will be 16+ weeks.
I have been really badly treated by all the professionals involved and have no idea what to expect.
I have one lovely mn friend who has told me bits of her experience. But I need more.
I am so absoloutely terrified,bereft,heartbroken...and don't really have anyone to talk to.
Please tell me about your experiences if it's not too painful for you.

[AngryBeaver]

We had our little girl at 4pm yesterday. She was very small and was beautiful. Although,she didn't look well

[MsBump]

Oh AngryBeaver I hope you are ok. xx

[freshfruitsalad]

Really sad, hoping you can find the time grieve, can't imagine what you are going through but thinking of you x

[ghislaine]

So sorry it has ended this way, AB. I hope you can say goodbye to your little girl in the way you think best. I hope also that the staff treated you decently.

There is this thread here if you want to talk to other women going through the same thing - I found it such a help when I terminated my pregnancy for T21.

[sleeplessinsuburbia]

I'm sorry angry, I'm home now too. I feel strangely removed from the situation. Hope you have all the support you need around you.

[AngryBeaver]

I kow what you mean.I felt that,until about 2 hours ago.Now I feel very different. I feel really down...likegoing to sleep and never waking would be easier.
I would never want that really,but...I feel very low. I want my girl.My Hope.

[whiteandyelloworchid]

i am so very sorry for your loss ab

i hope your being looked after

[manitz]

i think it hits a bit later sometimes. then you get up the next day and things either feel brighter or blacker but no day is like the one before, I found. When i felt down i did just go to bed. Why not? Just take it easy and be easy on yourself. x

[sleeplessinsuburbia]

I had a little girl too. I wanted her so bad and now feel like my life is being rewritten. I want to be pregnant again as soon as possible but I'm afraid of this also. How are you feeling?

[AngryBeaver]

I understand. It's so awful losing control. I feel like I'm in freefall. I don't know what to do from one minute to the next. I lay awake for a long time last night,just sobbing. I hadn't cried all day,but felt very heavy hearted. Initially after I left hospital,I felt relieved. I had done the hardest part,now I just had to heal. I think maybe the natural "I've just had a baby" endorphines had kicked in. Only my body didn't realise that I couldn't keep her.
The next day was a huge come down.
I was taking diazapam,but I felt they did nothing.
I want to be pregnant again too.But i'm terrified of that. I don't think I could face losing a third baby.
How are you feeling?
x

[lalsa]

I will have a medical termination for DS at 14 weeks tomorrow. My partner will be with me, and basically my feelings are that I want this to be done with as soon as possible so that we can get on with the rest of our lives; I am anxious about future pregnancies, but having had this happen and a previous missed miscarriage last September (at 9 weeks), I think I'm getting pretty good at handling the rollercoaster of emotions that seems to be part of the baby making process, so hopefully going forward I will feel braver.