In complete shock,abnormalities on 20 week scan

[realnappiesmum]

Had 20 week scan today, showed nuchal fold at 9mm, all four limbs short and calcification on liver. Seen by obstetrician, repeating scan tomorrow. He spoke about chronsomal problems and syndromes. Didn't have information from today's scan about heart and brain but will look on 2nd scan tomorrow. Spoke briefly about amnio and other diagnostics tests, but will discuss more tomorrow after scan. Anyone had these show up on scan together, consultant said may be due also to viral infection but as three all together unlikely to be viral. Didn't say which viruses could have caused these. Husband and I heads spinning and in so much shock. Want to have some questions ready to ask consultant but just can't think straight at moment. Also worried about risk o miscarriage from amnio. Any advice?

Posted above to soon.
Consultant didn't say much about the hygroma and talked more about pericardial effusion.
Had mother of another child at son's school saying that she had heard I am pregnant and saying congratulations and asking if DS excited. Wanted to burst in to tears, esp as another mother was there as well with her newborn daughter. This is all so hard.

I'm so sorry, I don't have any knowledge that will help, but I just wanted to say to try (if you can) not to worry about the stress affecting your baby - it's impossible for you not to be stressed at a time like this, try not to beat yourself up about the emotional turmoil you're feeling, it can't be helped.
There's very little you can do but wait until tests are done, results are back etc - you simply can't be calm and relaxed at such a time.

Will be thinking of you this week, xx

I am so sorry to hear you're going thru this. xx

Thank you for your kind words RedSquizzle.
I don't know whether I should see if I could see gp or midwife tomorrow to see i they can hear heartbeat as Wednesday feels so far away. I hadn't been feeling any kicks before all of this happened. Midwife thought I had anterior placenta and therefore not feeling any, scan says it is high anterior not sure if this position cushions the kicks or of it is because she is so small. Not being too feel much adds to anxiety. Do have a listening devices that is meant to pick up heartbeat but obviously too early for this. DH says it seems to be picking up kicks as hearing little thuds on it.
It does help to be writing things down on here. Haven't spoken to my Mum for a couple of days as she just keeps talking about negative things. Not helping.I have also been avoiding phoning my sister as can't bear to hear her baby daughter in the background. We tried for 4yrs to get pregnant with 2nd child and this is an IVF pregnancy.

AWV didn't see that you had posted after RS before I posted above post, so thank you as well.

Please do see your gp or midwife for the heartbeat if it will make you feel better.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I have nothing that can help you through this tough time, but thoughts and prayers are with you and take each day/hour as it comes xx

Sorry you are going through this scary time. I hope the news is more positive on Wednesday.

My friend had very worrying scan results and her son is four now and fine.

Well you're one day down, Realnappiesmum... That's another hellish day you won't have to do again. I'm so sorry you have to wait until Wednesday for the amnio. We had a week's wait for our CVS, and I remember what hell it was.

Don't think about stress affecting your baby ? really, it makes no difference, and you can take comfort that he/she is oblivious to all this. Try and rest, if you can, have a glass of wine (my midwife actually suggested this - off the record - when we went through similar). Make sure you eat well, and regularly, even if you don't feel like it.

Please keep trying to remember that you have nothing confirmed yet...

We had a report indicating of ALL the soft markers for Edwards Syndrome, including what was described as a massive exomphalos. So much so that we were offered a termination on the spot before being offered further tests ? we were at 15/16 weeks (this was following our 12 week scan, which was (very) late...).

Thankfully we declined, and had further testing. Not only did DD1 not have Edwards, but the exomphalos apparently disappeared in the week between the scan and the CVS too...

DD1 was a massive 9lb 8oz whopper baby, and in robust good health, with APGAR readings of 10/10/10 even after being hauled out by forceps. And I, like you, had spent a fortnight or so not sleeping or eating, crying, stressed etc.

Hold on to hope, deal with everything a step at a time. Take time to think about each decision as and when they come. Don't be rushed. Ask to speak to as many people as you feel you need to. I know at the fetal medicine unit we ended up at (Homerton) they were just brilliant. I hope yours is too.

Do. Not. Google. Any. More.
REALLY. Please don't.

Thinking and praying for you and your family.
db
xx

db, didn't see your post last night as managed somehow to fall asleep at reasonable hour for first time in almost a week. Rang midwife today from fetal care, she was a bit grim about prognosis. Have made a long list of questions for consultant tomorrow. Not sure if I've been feeling some more kicks today, they are always around the same area. Hope they are kicks and not cruel muscle twitch from tiredness. Stayed away from Google today. Trying to eat, DH took me out for lunch and is now cooking me a chicken pie. Sat through my DS martial arts class and swimming lessons fighting the tears, want to try and keep things normal for him until we know more. Burst into tears in front of him the other day though and he was a real sweetheart, giving me the biggest hug and saying " There,there Mum, it'll be ok". An old head on 5 yr old shoulders.

your 5 year old sounds like a sweetiepie, real. don't worry about being upset in front of him too much- I don't think children take harm from seeing genuine emotions expressed in these sorts of circumstances. good luck today. xxxxxx

Thinking of you today, good luck x

Thinking of you. I had shitty news at the 20 week scan too. I'm 27 weeks now and still plodding along, trying to cope. Have you seen a counsellor at all? - I have a great one who got me out of a very dark place indeed. I thought I was beyond help tbh, but I was wrong. Thinking of you - it's an awful place to be.

And thanks to others for the positive stories. They're helpful.

Thinking of you today Realnappiesmum.
Praying for some positive news.
(((((((hugs)))))))
db
xx

Hope it goes okay for you RealNappies. Thinking of you.

Also thinking of you xx

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this, have been thinking of you - good luck for tomorrow x

Thank you all for your supportive messages for yesterday, helped keep me strong. Saw consultant again and had amnio. Our precious little girl very active on scan and threatening to get in the way of the amnio needle. Consultant managed to do it, a bit uncomfortable and unpleasant. Husband sent me to bed when we got home with Grey's Anatomy box set and brought me lunch and tea in bed. Now for the long wait for the results.Dreading phonecall.

Keeping everything crossed for you. Glad yesterday was ok xx

Poor you realnappiesmum. Its a horrible wait. Make sure you just take it easy and be kind to yourself. Easier said than done I know! Sending positive thoughts your way.

Sending lots of positive thoughts.

Just seen this thread. Sending positive vibes for results and will be thinking of you.

Well done realnappiesmum... It's not nice, but at least it seemed to go smoothly. And an active baby is a good sign. Glad you're resting up.

Have they given you any indication as to how long you'll have to wait for results? I seem to remember we got ours in stages? A few days for the main trisomies, (Edwards, Downs, Patau) some more after about 8-10 days, the rest after a fortnight...

Was the consultant able to shed any light on the situation, or was not prepared to speculate?

Really really praying for good news.

db
xx

Midwife came round today and was lovely, very supportive,she suggested having a glass of wine!!! Think she might be the same midwife DB had!! Hope things are ok with you AliceHurled.

Posted too soon. Might have some results back by end of day tomorrow , if not will be Monday. Will see consultant next week or week after depending on when and which results come back. Feel sick about getting diagnosis but feel sick at not knowing either. Can't win either way.