Termination due to Edwards

[jdutch]

Sorry if you've seen me on another thread, I sort of hijacked it as I wasn't really sure where to post. And thank you to those who responded, it is much appreciated. I found out this afternoon following a weeks wait from my cvs that my baby has Edwards. I have just go back from a consultation and will be having a termination on Wednesday. The consultant had said he preferred me to have a medical termination on the labour ward as I'll be nearing 14 weeks, he said the upper limit, but I'm not strong enough to do that. They agreed to a surgical termination thankfully.
I am devastated beyond words. We had prepared ourselves for DS but naively had thought it wouldn't be Patau or Edwards as it wasn't mentioned by the consultant who did the cvs. I have two beautiful daughters who I am so lucky to have. It doesn't make up for the fact that I am loosing this much wanted and loved baby, but they are helping with the hurt.
I'm scared about the termination, and of how I'll be afterwards. For anyone out there who has been through this, how did you cope? We'd stupidly started making plans, looking into getting a bigger car, plans for the house and moving bedrooms, Christmas, (dd was 22nd dec) and I feel so stupid for getting ahead of myself.
I'm ranting now. I know there's are so many people out there that have been through this and worse. I just can't see the other side.

Nothing helpful to say, am one of the lucky ones who have no personal experience -

but I am so sorry that you are in this horrible situation.

Hugs

Dear jdutch

I am so so sorry to hear your sad news. I have experienced both medical termination at 20 weeks and surgical termination at 12 weeks (5 days ago) due to two different and unrelated abnormalities.

Losing a baby is extremely devastating, especially when they are so wanted babies. I don't have any kids yet and all my pregnancy experiences so far have ended up in an unfortunate way. However, in my experience I have found the surgical termination much less traumatic. They put me to sleep and after about 30 mins when I woke up it was over. Obviously the emotional pain is there (and will always be) but physically it was nothing to be scared of. I had mild period cramps for a few hours after the op but nothing more than a normal period. In my medical termination I had very severe labour cramps for about 7 hours and it was the most painful day of my life (both physically and emotionally).

Please feel free to ask any questions if you have any. I know it is a very difficult period for you as I am currently going through the same as well. But remember that there is always hope. I am hopeful I will have a healthy baby in the future and I truly hope your 2 daughters will have a baby brother or sister soon, too

I will be thinking of you on Wednesday, xxx

Morning, just to say that I'm thinking of you and yours today.

Hope it all goes as smoothly and peacefully as it can.
hugs

I'm so sorry. I hope today goes as well as these things can.

My sister had a termination for Edwards. She doesn't really talk about it much, was a few years ago now. But I would say that yes, she's come through the other side. Not the sort of thing you ever get over I shouldn't imagine but more one that stops being so raw.

Thinking of you.

I'm so sorry to hear your news. I hope that today passes as well as it can for you and that you have good support.

I don't normally venture into this section but I saw it in active convos. I just wanted to say how truly truly sorry I am that you are facing this. xx

Hello - if you can bear to come back onto your post and read this, then I hope you managed to get through today without too much physical discomfort.

I was there in feb 2011, the worst time of my life, as I can imagine it is for you. I'm not going to go into detail, as you dont' need to be reminded of pain, but there IS light at the end of the tunnel. I found it took about 3 months to function properly, 6 months to feel ok, and about 10 - 12 months to feel normal. It seems like ages, but it went quickly. I also got pregnant again, and although there were nervous moments throughout that, it all worked out well. After my loss, I really wanted to hear positive stories and posted on here, asking for folks happy endings - there are plenty out there. Cling onto that:)

Look after yourself, lean on your OH, and don't lock him out (emotionally, not the house), cry and grieve, but do move on when the time comes - your other children will be a help as you just wont' be able to crumble, make sure you get help though so you can have time for yourself. Remember you are not alone, and do not be afraid to ask for help, whether it's on here, friends, doc etc.

It's a testing time for sure, I'm sending you a big hug:) You will never forget your baby, but as with any loss, time heals. All the best, Adi xx