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Antenatal tests

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Original poster

Boyfriend wants to terminate

14 replies

LadyRome · 20/03/2012 11:30

Hello, im new here and just wanted some advice about this awful situation ive gotten myself into...

I'm 26 and 5/6 weeks pregnant with my 1st baby. At 22 i was told it would be extremely hard for me to conceive due to my PCOS. Due to this i never used contraception with my ex partner of 5 years and i never fell pregnant.

In January i left my ex and about 6 weeks ago i met a guy whos perfect for me, problem is, he got me pregnant pretty much straight away... Ive only been seeing him about a month although ive been getting to know him over the last 3 months.
The major issue is that he really does not want this baby, he's 29, he says hes not ready and has said he would prefer me to have an abortion. I've told him that i would prefer to keep the baby as i dont think i could go through with a termination, more so because i never thought i'd be able to conceive in the 1st place. He's told me that he's not going anywhere and that if i decide to keep it he'll deal with it but i dont know if i could deal with the thought of him being so unhappy. I gave him the option to go and that i would do it on my own as i really dont want to terminate but he said he wont leave and that he loves me.
Its so difficult, its either we do what he wants and i may resent him or what i want and he resents me.

I have a doctors appointment on thursday where i tell them whether i want 2 keep the baby or terminate so i need to decide by then i guess.

Hope someone can help, thank you

OP posts:

ClaireFromWork · 20/03/2012 11:32

No advice I'm afraid, but just wishing you well. You have a few weeks to make a decision so don't do anything hasty.

mousymouseafraidofdogs · 20/03/2012 11:34

what do you want?
your bf can make his feelings clear but ultimately it is your decision.
good luck!

HereIGo · 20/03/2012 11:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

overmydeadbody · 20/03/2012 11:56

Well to me it sounds like you should definately keep the baby.

Your boyfriend hasn't said he'll leave you, he loves you and wants to stay with you and has 9 months to come to terms with the fact of the baby, and he is unlikely to resent your decidion to keep the baby forever.

Is is very soon, but is was a mistake and your BF sounds like he could actually get used to the situation. He says he loves you, chances are he will love his baby too.

WhyAlwaysBoris · 20/03/2012 12:16

Hi, i'm so sorry you are going through such a hard time.

I'm really struck by the fact that for 5 years with no contraception and youth on your side you didn't conceive. If you did terminate this PG that does suggest that a future PG might not be possible.

If you want a family, don't give up this chance-I'm speaking as someone who thought i'd have plenty of time to have children, then had a very late miscarriage and found out that i have problems in this area. I could shoot myself for all the years i didn't try as the timing wasn't quite right. I'd walk through a brick wall now for a baby if they told me it would help, but it woudn't....

Chunkychicken · 20/03/2012 16:23

In short, do what you feel is right/best for you. If you're meant to be together, you will be, but regret about such a major decision will definitely cause problems!!

Whorulestheroost · 20/03/2012 16:29

Hi there, I fell pregnant by accident with my son and whilst I was already married I was absolutely gutted. I had a 3 month old daughter already, I briefly thought about termination but knew I could not go through with it. I think it takes 9 months to grow a baby as that is how long it took me to get my head round it! What I am trying to say that is he is in shock and I'm sure with time he will get used to it, whether or not the relationship lasts it is ultimately your choice. My 7 year old son is sitting next to me now and I would not change him for all of the world. Good luck op.

CPtart · 20/03/2012 16:29

It sounds like you have subconsciously made your mind up. Go with your instinct, but without being too negative, once the reality of dealing with a baby (whom your partner wanted to terminate) kicks in with him if you decide to keep it, be prepared for the fact he may well not stick around too long and you may be left as a single parent. Pessimistic or realistic??

Good luck whatever you decide.

Original poster

LadyRome · 21/03/2012 23:26

Thank you everyone :) I'm going ahead with my pregnancy. If i end up alone so be it. I hate seeing him so down and upset but i couldnt live with myself if i had an abortion. Just got to get through the next few months and hope that he has a change of heart :/

OP posts:

WhyAlwaysBoris · 21/03/2012 23:30

Just read your reply....:)

mousymouseafraidofdogs · 22/03/2012 08:44

wishing you all the best :)

HereIGo · 22/03/2012 10:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chunkychicken · 22/03/2012 11:30

Good luck, all the best

Whorulestheroost · 22/03/2012 17:57

Ah best of luck, I'm sure you have made the right decision. If he is a good man then he will be a good dad too :)

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